Widowed at 32 with 2 boys 8 & 5

Back in October of 2014 my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer. He had a sub total colectumy done. During the surgery they removed 23 lymph nodes and 18 of them tested positive for cancer. He went through 6 rounds of chemo. The 5fu, and bringing the bag home for 48hrs. After the 6 rounds he was having pains. Went in and did a scan. New cancer had formed in his abdomen lining. Our Dr. at the time gave him 6months and if lucky 2 years. So my husband did research and we ended up going to the cancer centers of america in Zion Illinois. There he underwent 10 more rounds of chemo. A scan was done, and the Cancer had grown in his abdomen, formed on his liver and spleen. The cancer in his lining had spiderwebed out and hooked around his small intestine causing a slight blockage. When we returned home the begining of July. He ended up in the hospital, because of the blockage. He was then sent home with hospice care. His cancer had spread that chemo was doing more harm than good, and no Dr would do surgery to remove it. My husband came home with care of hospice nureses twice a week. I cared for him as his health went down. His final weeks he had lost so much weight, and in the final days he could no longer swallow and entered into what they called terminal restlessness syndrome. The morning he died. October 19th 3:05 am. I held his hand, got to say I love you and kissed him one final time. He passed quickly. Now here I am. 32 years old trying to raise 2 little boys  8& 5. I fear everyday, because my husbands cancer was caused by a mutated family gene called lynch syndrome. It's a 50/50 chance one or both of our boys could have it. The fear, and heartache knowing that one or both of them could go through what my husband did. It breaks my heart. I was told to have them tested at age 15, but I fear this. My husbands brother was 39 when he passed from him, and my husband 36.. They are getting younger. Everyday is a challange and I pray to god I raise my boys right. 

  • I feel so sorry for your loss and the worry you must be going through regarding your children. Try to look on the positive side of the 50 percent chance that your kids may not have the gene. Life is so cruel at times. I lost my wife on th 29th October to a brain tumour she was 42. I truly hope you can try to get over your fears for your children or put them to the back of your mind at leastbeing a father myself I can imagine the pain and fear going through your head. 

  • Hi Candy. So sorry to hear about the loss of your husband and unfortunately im in a similar situation to a degree. My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer that has spread to her liver. Unfortunately she cant be operated on due to the extent of the tumours in her liver.

    I was also told by our oncologist that my two young children (7 & 9) would have the 'gene' but would be brought In at the first opportunity to be tested etc but that would not necessarily be for bowel cancer but for any forms of cancer ie cervical, prostate etc. So not only do I have a threat to my wifes life but also have all the fears, anger, anxiety to come later on with my two beautiful children so I know how you're feeling on that front. To say im not dealing with it well is an understatement as its just too much for me to take on board as there is a chance I will be made redundant next summer which just adds to everything else. I am only 35 and my wife is 33 and shouldnt be having to deal with so much at this age. In fact no body should.

    Take care and try to stay strong for your children as they need you more than ever.