Hi Alex, welcome to the forum, though I'm sorry it's your mum's illness that has brought you here. 

You say your mum has been your rock through difficult times in your life and somehow you will find the strength to be there for her now. 

You say that you're not sure about what questions to ask. Do you mean questions to ask your mum's medical team? Another option is to contact Macmillan as they are there to support families as well as patients and it maybe that they can give you any information you need. You could also give the nurses on the this site a call. 

Please post as often as you need to as the forum is friendly and supportive and we all understand what you're going through. 

Sending you a hug, Jo x

Hi Jo,thanks for the reply . Done quite a bit of reading on here and found most of the answers.

It's crazy how fast this is happening! The McMillan nurse is coming today . I'm back to work today but it's very hard to keep my mind on the job . I think it's wise to keep my holiday saved for nearer the time.

Mums hardly eating and is down to 6 1/2 stone already, doctor has given her some energy drinks and that complan stuff but she's not showing much interest in it . We are going to try having family meals to see if that might encourage her to eat .

Hi Alex, I'm glad the forum has been a useful source of information for you. 

It will be hard to concentrate at work, and hopefully your boss/colleagues are supportive. 

The idea of having family meals to encourage your mum to eat, is a lovely one. On a personal level, I find my appetite is beginning to decrease as my illness progresses, but my partner cooks great meals and knowing the effort he's gone to, does encourage me to eat a bit more!

Little and often is the way I manage to eat. We also stock the fridge and cupboard with treats and snacks that I may fancy; I particularly like mini trifles and crisps and I also drink Bovril as I feel I'm getting some sort of nourishment! Apologies for rambling on! 

Take care Jo x

Have just read your thread and though I would say hi.  When my husband's appetite fell away we definitely found having family meals helped a little (the company as well as the food to be honest!). The fatigue his cancer caused meant he slept a lot and so we tried the little and often idea that Jo has also mentioned. It worked for a while.  We also saw a dietician through our palliative care team and the main suggestion was to offer high calorie foods; adding cream to soups. thick custard and anything that will slip down easily without too much effort - mashed bananas and fruit smoothies were enjoyed for a while (my husband was not too keen on the prescribed drinks but did enjoy nesquick milkshakes!)

My work colleagues were very supportive (still are since I lost hubby earlier this year) and my concentration was certainly affected and totally understandable but always remember you are diong the best you can for your Mum and though it's hard try and look after yourself because this will strengthen your coping mechanism.  Offload here when you need to. Regards Jules

Hi Jules, firstly sorry for your loss . Thanks for the reply 

Popped in on the way home from work , Mum was asleep again she had only had one of those drinks today and not all of it . I joked with her and said I'd make one of my famous omelettes ( the only time my mums ever eaten food I've cooked is when I'm on the BBQ , I'm good at that ) I made a 4 egger that we shared so it's a start . 

Anyway I'm rambling , more appointments tomorrow so hopefully I can share some detail and get a bit of advice .

Stay safe

Hi Alex

Good that your eggy efforts paid off and I know how uplifting it can be just to see something eaten and recognise the effort your Mum would have made to do it justice.  Hope the appointments you attend today will give you more information/understanding. Take care  Jules

Hi folks, things seem to be going downhill fast ! Never seen someone change so much , Mum has no energy and just wants to sleep . 

Is this normal ?

I'm not sleeping and spend most of the day thinking about it . 

Hi alex. Can say I really feel for you. My mom has been given 7 months to live and it's just soul destroying. My mom seems to be declining quickly. She's not eating a lot and sleeps a fair bit when the pain on her hip let's her. I'm working while she is in a hospice and it drives mad. Want to be with her all the time but I know it just can't be done right now. We can just be there and support them as best we can as much as it hurts. 

Tom

Hi Alex

I am sure it is very difficult for you and the family but suspect that the lack of energy and sleeping more are probably a normal occurence as her illness takes hold.  In the latter months, weeks and then days my husband slept more and more and was less able to do things. People do seem to all react a little differently when ill and I am sure that the doctor/nurses that are caring for your Mum will be able to offer some insight as to how to cope day to day with these changes.  It's so hard when we have no control of what might be happening and a continual worry I know.  It could also be worthwhile having a chat with your own GP and explaining how you are feeling which is also perfectly natural given the current circumstances. Take care, Jules

Sorry for not coming back to this for a while , we are down to the last weeks now .....I've become the strong one in the family somehow...never saw that coming! ..the nurses that come are amazing ,how they do this job  I will never know. They make mum chuckle when they come and do their daily visits.

Mums tired now and she knows it's not long ..... I will probably make this my last post as I really don't know what else to write. Thanks to all that have posted on here as it has been an invaluable resource to help me and my family understand what's going on. 

Thank you 

Alex.