New- diagnosis 18 months ago starting to struggle

So, I am one of the 400 or so cases of Male breast cancer in the UK, I dont feel special, just lucky. Male breast cancer remains un-noticed by most men as it has few symptoms and fairly painles and when it is, it is too late. Only by chance was mine detected. My problem is it was caught early, good news youd say. And of course it is. However after masectomy and 18 months of treatment I just do not know how to feel? I lost a brother aged 39 to colon cancer, my mother nearly left us aged 77 with ovarian cancer, but has just been diagnosed at 91 with its return. Andvthey tell me I have the hereditary brac2 gene, so high risk of it coming back. So what to do but live life and enjoy. Who knows, we can only check and monitor, and make the best of however long. My problem is now I am only on tamoxifen fir five years and no more treatment, I feel a fraud? When I hear the difficulties of others. I often have moments of darkness... And confusion. But remain positive.

 

  • Hi Smoothjazz,

    Thank you for posting about your cancer. I think when the main treatment ends a lot of people dont know how to feel. I think part of that is concern it may come back at some point stops us feeling happy so we are left in a halfway house so to speak. I am someone who has had prostate cancer and have made a good recovery from it thanks to really good treatment but as my father who lived in Cananda has just passed away from prostate cancer which returned after 30 to 35 years, it has reminded me cancer is always a risk of returning.

    Please do not feel a fraud just because others are worse than you. As I often say, we can all use our experiance of cancer, wither good or bad to help others.

    Take care, best wishes, Brian

  • Why should you feel a fraud? All of us that have/had cancer know it could come back at any time so please don't feel this way.  You have been through enough and deserve a break to enjoy your life and make the most of it.  People look at us and tell us how well we look but have no idea of the turmoil that is going on inside us, whether it be mentally or physically - we become so good at hiding it and then end up suffering alone.  Please dont feel guilty because others are worse off than you - it wont help them and certainly wont make you feel better so, until you know any different, go out there and enjoy life for all of us that can;t!

    Wishing you all the very best. x

  • Hey smoothjazz,  I am in the same boat,  not breast cancer but penile for me. Finished surgery,chemo,radio in Jan and because you have been in the system so long and then your not you feel lost for a bit, I am also having dark days and feeling guilty than I should feel so when I am still here and actually writing this on holiday in the warm which is something a year ago we thought would be impossible.  We put our clothes on and we look fine,we look normal and well, yet underneath you have had a mastectomy and I a penectomy so the emotional strain we have is huge, at times too much.but this goes unseen, Un noticed and in some cases I am sure Un helped. No one really understands, not truly unless you have been there but I have a small but strong team I can call on when needed,,  esp my wife and macmillan nurse . ALL the best.

  • Thank you for your positive words, lost mothet on tTuesday, died aged 91 from a return of her ovarian cancer, originally gievn the all clear in 2000, so she didnt do bad I guess. As you say we just have to remain positive.

  • Yes you are sooo right, ive brought forward so many plams I had forvthe future for that very reason. Next year is my 60th so I plan to celebrate it big time. Thanks for your positive words. And yes we do suffer in silence so true.

  • So so. How I feel too. I guess we mustvjust keep positive. Nice to hear I am not alone.

  • Hi Smoothjazz

    Sorry for the loss of your mum.

    Condolences to you from all of us at Cancer Chat.

    Best wishes

    Jane