Cancer Research UK main site

My dad has terminal lung cancer

Iwantcoffee
Offline

Hi, I'm a 38 year old with two children who just heard that my dad will have around 2 months left. I'm not sure if I'm just rambling and getting things out.

I found out in march that my dad had lung cancer. At the time I was told that it was treatable- I was pregnant at the time so I think my dad said this to make it a bit easier to take. He had chemo for a time, I had a baby girl and he had a break from chemo. He went to hospital as while on a chemo break he wasn't feeling better. After the tests and scans he was told the cancer had spread to his kidneys and spine. Also he was told that he would have 2 months to live. I'm devastated. It isn't any time at all. I think of my son who's 20 and enjoyed time with his grandad then I think about my daughter who will never get to crawl or walk to her grandad. I worry about my mum who has never been on her own. I also worry who I'll call for advice when my dads judgment is the only one I want. My dad has has taken the news well and has sorted out his funeral and stuff, but I can't get my head around just how little time is left. 

  • Offline

    Hi Iwantcoffee

    Welcome to Cancer Chat.

    There are others here who will understand how you are feeling now.

    I hope you will find it helpful to share your feelings here and that you will receive support from others who are going through similar experiences with their loved ones.

    Best wishes to you and your family,

    Jane

  • Offline

    Sadly my dad passed away on the 28th. He got a chest infection that he couldn't get over. He came home from the hospital on the 27th. He was at home with his family,which is what he wanted. The care team that he had was very good. He was comfortable and painfree. The funeral home let us see him 30th, he looked like he was sleeping-before he became ill. We never got to have our early Christmas as we planned. We knew time was short but it was painfully short.

    Now we have the funeral to arrange. We know what he wanted but we want to put our own little touches to it,we want him to have th best of everything but we know he would tell us off for wasting all that money! - we should save it for the wake! 

    We dont know what the future holds for us a family without the man who holds everything together, just that hopefully he made the bonds so tight that we can carry on, as the strong family unit that made him proud.

  • Offline in reply to Iwantcoffee

    So  sorry  to  hear  your  news,  my  deepest  condolences  to  you  and  your  family, 

                                                         Best  Wishes  Susan  xx

  • Online in reply to Iwantcoffee

    Hello Iwantcoffee,

    Thank you for taking the time to let us know the sad news. I just wanted to send you our most sincere condolences on behalf of all the Cancer Chat team. Don't hesitate to come back to the forum any time you wish to talk to others who have also recently lost a loved one. We are all here for you.

    Warmest wishes to you and your family during this difficult time,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline

     

    Hi, I am 39 years old, with three children aged 10 and 5. I lost my Dad to spine cancer on the 1st July, after he was diagnosed on 11th June. Previous blood tests and scan had shown nothing. Like you I would always go to my Dad to help me make a decision. I miss my Dad so much! I know it's hard to think at the moment and everything seems unjust, but just try to think of your Dad holding your baby girl and think how proud  he is of you all. I got a lovely thumb print from dad before he died and had it made into necklaces for my girls. I got them engraved with grandad loves you. Also get an photo album together  of all the pictures of your dad. I found this very helpful. Like you I worry about my mum very much, but most people I have spoken to about their widow parents have stated that a dog is a huge benefit. It gives them a reason to get up in the morning, met new people.   My brothers and I went out and got my mum a dog this week and it was lovely to see my mum smiling again. The road ahead is very emotional but you will find strength to get you through the worst stages. support through this will come from the oddest of places and remember to accept any support that is offered to. The support from the nurses and hospice staff is out of this world. Having been through what you are going through only 8 weeks ago I can only say that some of the darkest moments some truly beautiful words will be expressed and your dad will know how much you truly love him.

    My thoughts are with your family and you. I am here if you need to chat  from one daddy's girl to another!! X

     

     

     

     

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.