Hello, I'm Angela & my Husband died from metastatic stomach cancer on 23 May. We only found out it had spread to his lungs & liver a couple of days before his death - it was quite a shock as all the medics had been emitting positive vibes until a couple of weeks before the end. His cancer was diagnosed a few weeks after his retirement at the beginning of last year, so I feel he was really cheated, as the last year of his life ( & the first and only year of his retirement) was spent in a round of chemo, gastrectomy followed by almost 4 months in hospital following complications & endoscopies to stretch his oesophagus. He was in a lot of pain, but so brave. Everyone says I've been strong following his death, but I have my weak moments. I'm trying to build myself a social life (I met him when I was 15, married at 19 & am now 63), & sometimes feel guilty for being able to do so, when he can't. I have read several threads on this forum from people in a similar position, so know I am not alone. I find going into town difficult sometimes as I see people older than us and think 'why are you still here and he isn't' - is it reasonable to think this?