Cancer Research UK main site

Hi , found out my mum has cancer

lisajane1
Offline

 

Hi everyone , I'm Lisa , recently, we found out my mum has ovarian cancer , she has had everything removed and is now having chemo. I'm being really strong for her but just feel that I can't really talk to many people about it as they don't know what to say and the subject is avoided all together. At times , I feel that I can't talk about it , my mum has a really good chance of being ok after her treatment , but at other times it is Almost as if she is dismissing it and that makes me , well in a way frustrated. I hope you don't mind me messaging this . I just feel like I need to be able to say what I am feeling 

 

 

 

 

  • Offline

    Hi Lisa,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. You say you feel the need to tell how you feel, well thats why this site is so good for you can unload your feelings on here and know that others will fully understand .

    You say your mother is being a bit dissmisive about her cancer. Well most people with cancer try to retain a certain amount of normality in their lives. We all deal with it differntly; some people dont want to talk about while others are exactly the opposite. There is no right or wrong way. When I had my prostate cancer, I kept making jokes and some people didnt understand; they thought I should be going round with a face as long as a fiddle but thats not my way.

    Cancer has made me look at life through differnt eyes and I am now more understanding. Lots of people dont know what to say or even how to react when cancer is diagnosed. This is sad because at a time when we need to talk more than ever before, people clam up or in some cases even walk away.

    So anytime you feel the need to talk, there is usually someone on this great site who will respond. Wishing you and your mother all the best, Brian.

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Hi , yes that is what it is like , people almost walking away when all I want to say is my mum is living with cancer she's not dying from it. Mum is positive in regards to treatment and diagnosis , it's just the small things , and I guess I don't want her to be shocked when things happen to her body.   We have laughed about it together but like you say , some people expect her to walk around feeling sorry for herself but that's not what she is like . She doesn't want pity , she just wants to get on with her life. 

  • Offline

    Hi Lisa

    When my husband was diagnosed I found this forum a great way to offload my own frustrations (I thought it selfish to even feel frustrated!!).  Like your Mum my husband wanted people around him to act as if he had not got it (easier said than done sometimes as we were aware from the beginning that his type of cancer was incurable) and we soon learnt which of our friends and also family members could not cope with the 'reality'.  I had people cross the road to avoid conversation and its not like you want to talk just about the illness. Day to day life continues around their treatment and its good to be able to throw some humour into the mix.My husband did not like the emotional effect that his illness had on him so I was the go-between and this site got me through many ups and downs during his journey.

    I am sure you Mum would like nothing better than to just enjoy normal conversation and its probably why she is dismissive of her illness and looking forward to recovery after her treatment finishes.  I wish her and you all the very best but do come and offload any time you need to - there are many here who will totally relate to  your feelings (and your Mum's).  Regards Jules54

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.