Hi and welcome to the forum. Sorry for the reason that you find yourself here, but as you say, hopefully, you will find the support you need.

Your question is a tricky one and I think the answer depends on so many factors. Your approach of trying to prepare yourself mentally is a natural one (I tend to be a 'worse case scenario thinker' and then anything else is a bonus!) also, the emotions you're experiencing (guilt, anger, worry etc) are all usual too. 

Your mum is probably trying to protect you, but it may also be that she and your dad don't yet have the complete picture (results, treatment plan etc) so they may be waiting until they have all the information before they talk to you about it. I know that's what I did with my family and somehow it was easier to tell them. 

As for how to talk to your dad, I'd suggest acknowledging what you know about his illness, reassuring him that you'll help him and your mum in anyway you can, and then take your cue from him. His personality may mean he doesn't want to talk about his illness (some people are 'talkers' some can be more private) but by having broached the subject, he'll know you're there to listen. And just to reassure you, my children and family treat me like they've always done and I certainly don't feel that they don't care - it's nice to be treated normally :)

On the financial side of things, Macmillan offer help and advice with such things, and the hospital where your dad is a patient should be able to give him and your mum information about this. (my hospital told me about free prescriptions and benefits I was entitled to)

Remember to look after yourself too! Do you have a network of friends who you can offload to and help support you ? Don't forget to seek help from your GP if you need to. And come on here when you need to - we may be 'virtual' but there's always a listening ear and shoulder to lean on when you want to rant, cry, or let off steam! 

Take care, sending a big hug, Jo xx

Thanks very much for your kind and helpful words Jo. I feel a lot better reading your reply and knowing that what i'm thinking / feeling is 'normal.' And yes, I do have help to support me and I am lucky that i have a strong support network of friends and boyfriend - only one or two people know what's going on at this stage and they have been great so far.

x