Hey Sarah,

Sorry for the late reply. It's my cheat day so no gym and junk food beckoned me :)

I totally agree with you that i need to let go sometimes, i think it's just the way i am. I tend to keep things penned up inside. You know what, it's nice to chat to someone that i don't know as i feel i can say stuff without feeling silly :)

Sam and I are very hyper lol...i hope he doesnt do this at school when someonme cries..Hopefully he won't ask them for a fight to try and cheer them up lol.

How was your day?? How's your dad doing today?

I'm always he a good old chin wag as well if you ever need one :)

WIll

xx

Don't worry about the late reply. Everydays a cheat day for me! I really should do more excercise.

Yeah I know what you mean about that, when you talk to a stranger on here you can totally let go because you know there's a huge chance you'll never meet, you don't know nothing about one another other than your going through hell. It helps a huge amount. I think in our cases our dad are more or less at the same point in the cancer journey so we can relate lots. :) hahaha yeah I hope Sam doesn't do that too . I hope he doesn't spend his life thinking if someone's down all they need is a little wrestle lol

You know what, today's actually been a surprisingly good day my dad was much higher in spirits and the scan went well, they said they got some really clear pictures. I was trying to read her face but absolutely no sign of any hints haha. My dad said he loved me (for the first time in about a year) he's not one to show emotion) and that he wouldn't know what he'd do without me sometimes, made me feel happy but quite upset at the same time. anyway how's your day been? How's your dad today? Sarah xxx

Always used to be a cheat day for me as well but then i served abroad in a hot country and lost loads of weight and have trained ever since :)

Yeah o totally agree about talking to a stranger..it's kool.

At least sam won't get soffies like me hanging round with him or they will just be wrestling all the time.

Awesome that you have had a good day. Keep soldiering on.

lol, don't try and read her face you nutter lol..you might mis read and trip yourself out...

Havn't spoke to dad today. I've been working. I work shifts so will see him next week sometime. Think I'm going to take him to his first Chemo session on wednesday.,I hope he doesn't get all the sickness from the treatment..One of my mates dad's lost his battle today after a few years :( it's crazy how many people actually have it.

My day has been ok..Bit moody this afternoon at work though..was meant to be swimming in the lake for training ready for the great north swim but as it was cheat day i didnt go plus i didn;t feel upto it. 

xxxx

Sorry I couldn't reply until now. 

No no, I'm usually quite good at reading people (my whole career was supposed to be based on it)

ahh shifts. I suppose that will make it that much harder to see your dad. Good luck for his first chemo session, I know what you mean about the sickness though it's something I'm also worried about if my dads offered it. My dads already lost 4 stone, and losing more due to not eating and vomiting. He can only eat liquidised food. So it's a massive worry for me if he was to be sick with liquid food too. If they do get the sickness we'll just have to remind ourselves that it's a mere side effect of medicine compared to the pain and suffering that cancer brings.

So sorry to hear about your mates dad :( There is absolutely nothing I can say because it's just so awful. He battled for a few years and I suppose that's slightly better than the short prognosis that people get of a few month. Loads of people do get/have cancer. I hate it. It must of been hard hearing that today though so if you weren't up for swimming then good for you for not going, you need to give yourself a break and some time to just rest and let everything sink in.

Sometimes we will feel angry, moody and annoyed but so what we're human and we're trying to deal with the worst news of our life. Here's no way we can be happy all the time. I hope you have a better day today, genuinely.

I'll be thinking of you and your family, Sarah xxxx

Sarah,

Please don't apologise for your posts being too long - there are no hard and fast rules about brevity on here. Some of my posts turn into good old-fashioned rambling rants!

I can only reiterate what River, Kim, Will and others have said - the waiting is always one of the hardest things to deal with when you or someone you love is going through the diagnostic process. Hours seem like days and the nights of worry can seem endless. 

Your Dad has a lot going for him - he is relatively young and fit with a lot to live for. We are of a similar age and I can only imagine what our families are going through because of this horrible disease.

Please be careful about how you interpret what the doctor tells you. I was told that my only option was palliative care because of the stage I had reached and the fact that my cancer had grown around my aorta which ruled out both radio therapy and surgical removal. This isn't quite the same as being sent home to die, though from experience I know it can feel like that at the time. The doctor only said IF the cancer has spread to the pancreas, he or she didn't say it actually had. My guess is that you were being prepared for the worst case scenario. Anything less will feel like a relief and, if the worst case does come about, your Dad will have had some time to start to get his head around the situation. 

This may be a daft question but have you asked his GP to do something about controlling his pain and vomiting while you are waiting for news from the hospital? The hospital may be assuming you have seen the GP about it and the GP may be assuming the hospital has it under control. Definitely worth calling the GP who should be more than willing to help.

Good luck
Dave x

Hi Dave, thank you for your reply. I do want to prepare myself for the worst because the doctor said its likely to have spread its just a matter of where, and along with the fact that he's stopped eating for the past few days (I've read on here that this may be a very bad sign) but your right if it's anything better that the worst it will be a relief. 

Thank you for the advise also I may open a new post with stomach cancer in the title. Also regarding the GP, yes he has been given tablets for the pain but nothing for the sickness. He doesn't seem to think the tablets are working a great deal. But definitely not a stupid question because we have discovered there is a lack of communication between the hospital and the GP.

You seem to be dealing with your diagnosis really well I can only hope that my dad finds the same strength because at the moment I feel like he's gotten himself into a bit of a rut.

Thanks again for replying, Sarah xx

Hi Sarah,

I've had a lot of time to get used to living with my diagnosis. Your Dad is still at a very early stage and his full prognosis isn't yet clear.It takes time to adjust and if he is in pain when he eats. the last thing he will feel like doing is eating.

Keep going on at the doctors - they don't always communicate well with each other and they can only go on what they have been told. If necessary you will need to be their eyes and ears. I don't want to jump to any conclusions but a lot of men of my generation try to be brave and understate their physical symptoms to the doctors. This can lead to under-presciption of pain relief and anti-nausea drugs. If the pain killers aren't working the GP needs to try something stronger, but this won't happen if they aren't told.. 

Best wishes
Dave

Dave I know what you mean about understating his symptoms to the doctor. I think I will check the pain killers my dads on and try and convince him to go back. I'm just so worried about him not eating, I think that's the worst thing. Alls I can do now is wait until Friday for the scan results, it's such a long time.

Thanks again for your help and advice it has made a difference, Sarah xx

Hi Sarah,

I can empathise with your Dad as I learned the hard way not to try to be too brave under similar circumstances. There are some really good anti-nausea tablets that the GP can easily prescribe without it compromising anything the oncologist wants to do. When I was on chemo my oncologist was genuinely surprised that I hadn't gone to me GP for additional pain and nausea relief instead of waiting for my routine appointment at the oncology clinic.

Dave x  

Hey will how are things? Haven't heard from you for a while I hope everything's going well with your dad. I went today and I won't really find out the staging until Monday xx