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Learned of father's diagnosis today.

stephenlondon13
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Hello everyone. 

 

I just learned of my father's diagnosis today and since this is all very new and frightening, I thought I'd come on here and ask for some help. I've had a look at the forums and am very moved by the support and friendship that you all offer one another. This is a wonderful resource and my best wishes go out to each and every one of you. 

I learned today that my Dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer which has also spread to his bones and, if I understand him properly, his hip. He tells me he will refuse chemotherapy. I don't know much about his prognosis but friends have indicated that without therapy his chances of survival are slim. I am unsure how to talk to him about this. I am flying out to see him tomorrow, (he lives abroad) can anyone give me any advice about what to expect? Also - is it possible (without wishing to be insensitive to others) to make a judgement, however vague, as to how long he might survive without chemotherapy? I appreciate that is a difficult question to answer but I'm desperate to gain some kind of understanding. 

Many thanks to you all, 

 

Stephen. 

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    Hi Stephen and welcome although I am sorry for the reason that has brought you here.

    Firstly can I say that when I was offered radio and chemo last September I , too, refused it.  There were several reasons, my age, I live alone and didnt want to be a burden on my children and the thought of travelling on London's trains for 4 hours a day for 6 weeks was something I could not contemplate.  Doctors did try to push me into the treatment for 3 months and then gave up.  They have given me hormone treatment and I have been fairly normal (whatever that is) since.  My cancers are incurable.

    Please wait till you have had time to talk to your dad and his doctors, you may find that he has valid reasons for his choice of treatment. I don't know his age but that, too, could be a reason. Doctors these days seem to be reluctant to give timespans, quite rightly, 

    I send you both my very best wishes.  Please come back and let us know how your dad is.

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    Hi Stephen

    Just wanted to add my welcome to the forum though as Pauline says no one would choose to be here.  When my dad was diagnosed with cancer (prostate with lung as a secondary) he also chose not to have the treatment offered. His decision was right for him and we supported him when he told us. (He was in his eighties at the time  which may have had some bearing on his decision though he never discussed this with me).

    I hope when you can chat face to face with  your Dad you may gain a little more understanding but no one really knows how long someone is going to survive their cancer; each person is an individual case and his doctors may have given him guidelines as to his prognosis.  However you find him when you visit I hope you will spend quality time together and if you can, let the forum offer support during this time

    All the very best. Jules54

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