Hi everyone, my dad died on Friday 6th march after a long battle with cancer. He died at my mums house, she had been caring for him through his illness. All of us were there when he went and I was holding his hand when he took his last breath. My brother shaved him and we dressed him in his favourite clothes after he died.

It was the most surreal day I have ever had in my life, i couldn't stop crying at first watching him gasping for breath but a part of me was relieved when he finally stopped breathing. No more pain, no more suffering.

The days leading up to his death were hard, his personality had changed and he was saying things that didn't make sense. He couldn't walk but would always try and get up and end up falling over. He would take all of his clothes off and throw himself out of bed. The last time he did it I picked him up and put him in bed, I said to him he was acting like a child because I was so tired. I asked him why he kept doing it and he said he didn't know.

Two days later he died and now I'm feeling so guilty for having a go at him and I can't stop thinking about his last moments.

My mum brother and sister have all been to visit him in the mortuary but I can't bring myself to go. 

Does anyone else have these feelings of guilt that they have said something they regret?