Hi i used this site over two years ago during my dad's battle with cancer with stage 4 primary cancer only diagnosed when found secondary brain tumours , the support advice is great you can really share your emotions and feelings and it truly helps . Your not alone so many people are going through the same situation , listening to others helps you deal with what lies ahead at every stage my sisters and I had an amazing 6 months with dad the journey is a roller coaster of emotions , 

Hi

Am sorry that you have need to join the forum but like Shell74 I have found comfort over the lasat two plus years in having somewhere to chat/offload where people understand and can offer all kinds of supportive words and advice.  It ay be virtual but you do not feel so alone.

It is always hard knowing how to approach talking about loved one's illness with children (mine were adults at time of diagnosis but have grandchildren). We waited until we had all the facts and then told them the truth and from then on were honest as to what was happening.  There is some information on this site as to how to talk to children which you might also find useful.

Come and chat whenever you want to - no matter how small you think things are it always helps to share. I leant a lot during our journey with cancer (especially about myself!). Taking things a step at a time has helped me cope and never be afraid to ask for clarification from the team looking after  your husband (even writing down your questions before you go to appointments is a help) or drawing on the love and support of your friends and family. Jules54

Hi,

Pleased to see you have already recieved several response's. It does make a differnce by just talking to people on here for they know all to well the emotions that a cancer diagnosis bring about. Most people find it easier to talk on here than they do to family for when talking to family or friends, we often dont tell the whole truth of how it's affecting us. On here we can be open and honest and know we will not be judged,

Sending best wishes to you and your husband, Brian.

Hello Northernbird, 

Welcome to Cancer Chat, I can see that some of our lovely members have alerady popped in to say hello and offer some words of wisdom for you and your husband. 

I just wanted to let you know that we do have a team of nurses here at Cancer Research UK that you can call to speak to if you think it would help at any point. They are available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040 (free to call from a UK landline and most mobile networks). 

We do also have a section on our Cancer Help pages that I have linked for you called Talking to children that might be of help when the time comes for you to talk to your son.

Sending our best wishes and please do keep in touch. 

Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

Hi, Well an update for those who may read this......my husband had his first appointment with the oncologist on thursday. On reflection i'm pretty sure that my interpretation of what we were told is correct but if im wron please feel free to put me right. Following the PET scan we told that the original advanced cancer in his lungs had spread to the bones and that it wasn't curable. Palliative chemotherapy starts in 3 weeks. Now following this appointment when you're trying to make sense ofeverything i realised that actually i wasn't entirely sure what the Dr was telling us, whats not curable? whats palliative chemotherapy? So i googled it all and this is where my interpretation begins....So are we talking Stage 4 because its spread eleswhere than the lungs? Does 'not curable' mean its terminal? and palliative, does that mean that all thats happening is treatment of the symptoms? i know we need to ask the Dr but we wont be seeing him for a couple of weeks so thought i'd run it past viewers on here. 

Hi .......  I am truly sorry to see what your family are going through - myself and my family are in the same situation, so I understand many of your fears/feelings.  Just wanted to say that it may help you to give the nurses on this site a call on Monday (free phone) as I am sure they will be able to answer your questions. Their number is shown on this page. Much love x

Hi, thank you for your kind words. Likewise, I feel gutted for you and your family too. What is there to say....... Thoughts are with you x

Hi

Sorry you and y our husband are facing this journey that no one wants. When my hubby was diagnosed he was offered and took palliative chemotherapy after discussions with his consultant (lovely lady who was so easy to chat with).  We were given to understand that this could help 'reduce the cancer growth/slow it down'.  At this time we were already aware that he had terminal cancer so it was really about trying to improve the quality of life for as long as possible.  Everyone's journey is very personal and you will find it useful to write all your questions down before yoru next appointment (we did this every time we went as found it quite hard to take it all in).  Max has given you excellent advice in giving the  nurses a ring as they will definitely be able to help with all the medical terminology.  Sending hugs.Jules x