My Dad has been diagonoised with squamous cell carcinoma of the oropharnex. They told us its incurable. its aggresive and advanced but didnt tell us which stage. He has to go for palliative radiotherapy, his first appointment is tomorrow to find out his plan. I was wondering if anyone here could help me with any info at all. Does this sound terminal (6 months or less)?? Any suggestions on what to ask doctors? I dont think he really understands fully himself and i dont want to keep bringing it up. Has anyone been throught this same situation? Xx
Hi hope = welcome to this lovely forum that many people found has brought resolution of their worry. We have all faced times of uncertainty and this is what its all about! There is not one person here that wonders and worries about the future!! All these things are best to put to the consultant tomorrow. I would write a list of questions and tick them off as you go. It is possible that Dad doesn't want to know all the details and staging - I expect he has alot of thinking to do anyway.
Look all the very best for tomorrow = it will feel better when you get some facts and the doctors plans
Hi Steven has given very good advice about writing questions down(and the answers to them too) as often there is a fair bit to take in. Incurable can mean that the cancer can be managed but not cured but the doctors will be able to give better guidance. My husband had different cancer and though did not have radiotherapy did manage some palliative chemotherapy which did extend his life. Wishing you all the best for the appointment tomorrow and come and chat if and when you need to.Jules54
Thank you both Steven and Jules. I know he has wrote some questions down himself, im afaid to just incase he doesnt what to know. Ill see what they say tomorrow. Thanks guys x
Sorry guys, just wondering if anyone has any idea of some questions i could ask without scaring him. I dont think my dad knows how bad this is. He knows its incurable but i dont think he understands pallitive radiotherapy... he thinks he is having this treatment to shink it but my understanding of it, from what i read online is just to ease the pain and symtoms and not to prolong life?? Is there any other traetments available, maybe clinical trails etc or are we to late for that? Has anyone on here ever had a second opinion with a different outcome than the first?
Just to let you know your Dad will probably have to give permission for you to be told anything at all and the consultant will guide him through the treatment plan. If he does not want to know what will be happening along the way he will need to express this himself so they can offer alternative support if needs be. My husband hated to talk about his illness as he could not handle the emotional side and therefore gave permission for me to attend appointment with him so that he did not have to tell me about it later.Counselling for both Dad and the family can be offered but suspect different areas operate in different ways. Certainly if you need to talk to someone (other than virtual forum like this one) it could be worth giving the nurses a ring on the number on this site who will be happy to answer as many questions on a more personal level. Typically I wanted to know how the treatment plan would help with symptoms but sadly its not an exact science and in the early days it was a real learning curve to find the right balance between not knowing enough and knowing too much, if that makes sense. If you need support do ask as there are many ways in which this can be arranged, both through the consultant/palliative care team ( your Dad may well be given a list of telephone numbers for contact purposes (we had this from the day of diagnosis) as very often its after appointments that you need answers. Wishing you all the very best at the appointment and hope things will seem a little clearer with time. Happy to chat when you are. Jules x
Thanks so much for your help and wishes. I will see what happens tomorrow. And I will maybe give this line a ring if i have any questions afterwards. Big hugs to you also. Chelsea x
I was diagnosed with personages cancer in 2013 and was told that without treatment I had 6 months to live. I had chemo and went into remission for a year. It has since flared up again and I am awaiting radiotherapy. No one can tell what the outcome of any treatment will be, but, a positive attitude I believe always helps. I wish you and your father all the best for the future.
Hi Andrew, thoughts and prayers are with you. By now your radiotherapy plan has probably been set and i wish you well through your treatment. My dad is into his seventh session and has 3 more to go. I did ask was this terminal and the consultant told me they cant give me an answer until tje treatment is finished. Theres so many questions in my head. Best wishes to you and youll be in my prayers.
