Hi Chris,

Just a quick line to wish you all the very best for today's consultation. Don't forget to take a list of questions and/or points that you need to cover. Also, take a stroppy friend if you can. Try to get the details of the local Macmillan nurse - the one allocated to me was a good source of information and support during treatment. I was able to communicate with her by email which was good. 

Remember, you are probably either at or close to the lowest point at the moment. Things WILL improve as you continue your journey into 2015. The new year will be better than the old one, and 2016 will be better than 2015 - I and others on here can tell you this from experience. You are most likely at or close to the top of the hill and you're about to start the easier ride down the other side.

Wishing you and all the other good people on The Journey all the very best for a Happy and Healthy New Year.

Simon XX

Hi Chris

Just wondering how your appointment went today?  I hope you have come away feeling more positive and that some progress is being made to get you the follow-up support you need.  It WILL get better, but it's a very gradual process.  It took me a long time to realise this and it wasn't till I looked back over my diary and posts on this forum several months later that I realised just how much I had improved without being aware of it.  I hope that as you see in 2015 you will be saying good riddance to this horrible year and looking forward to feeling much better over the coming months.  

Wishing all my forum buddies a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Irene x

Hello Vatch.  Thanks for your response and for the other responses that I am responding to.  I have found all your comments helpful and have taken them on board as best as I can.  On 31st December I went to Guys (along with friend Sue - My "voice" and Protector). Consultant said she was very pleased with my progress.  Of course I disagreed - beligerent old cow that I am.  I told her how I was feeling and how desperate I am and that despite my voicing my concerns and fears, nobody thought to address my mental health state - which I know, having worked in this filed professionally for many years - needs addressing and my anxiety and panic were becoming unctrollable.  Needless to say - deaf ears - and I was duly informed that I would get a letter through the post telling me to go for a PET scan round about 20th February and an appointment back with her on 25th February.  However, my friend  Sue together with my GP arranged for me to have a home visit from my local Harris Hospice and this was today.  She was very thorough and is looking at medication changes and other meds to help eleviate my depression, anxiety and panic attacks.  I still cannot swallow but my voice has shown some signs of "being there" for a few minutes at a time so I shall try to be positive about that.  I remember reading on one of your posts, Vatch, that all you could thin about was a chees and pickle sandwich and when I read that I thought "snap" this was a pervading thought of mine four about a week (still is if Im honest) but even a spoonfull of mashed potato would be bliss at the moment.  The trouble is despite the nightly feed which I supplement with two calories laden drinks per day I am constanly hungry.  I will keep you posted with any progress but I feel too ashamed to just post about how dreadful I feel which is why I have laid low for a few days.  I have been invited to a wedding at the end of May in Cornwall and I am hoping that I will be in some kind of normality by then, but dont hold out too much hope for that.  I wish you a happy new year and continuing recovery.  I hope one day to be in a position of recovery so that I may be able to offer some support to a "newbie" like you and many others that I am replying to have done for me.  My trouble is I am impatient (always I big fault of mine - which I acknowledge - not impatient with others, but impatient with myself).  I wish I was superwoman!  I will post again soon.  Thanks again for the support.  Chris x

Sorry Irene - I called you Heather.  I have to brush up on computerisms and read things properly.  Thanks again. Chris x

Nicola.  Chris here.  Thanks for your response.  I think you will lhave gathered I am a complete technophobe and I thought i had responded to you but couldnt find it so if Ive duplicated - apologies.  I am keeping people posted and thank you all for your kindness and support.  Im trying to be positive but very hard at times when I see no improvement.  I must try to be patient.  I just wish I could know when I have reached the peak of the side effects so that I can believe that I am on the downward slope.  I have replied to others and you may be able to pick up my responses and see what I have said - although I am endeavouring to reply to everyone.  Wishing you well in your continued recovery.  You all have given me a little glimmer of hope, Thanks. Chris x

Thanks Gary.  I thought I had responded to your post but then couldnt find it so if I have duplicated apologies. Im getting glimmers of hope.  Still feeling very rough and in quite a lot of pain but mostly I suppose I am very very fearful.   I will keep you posted on any improvements that hopefully will happen to me in the not too distant  future.  Chris

Thanks Gary.  I thought I had responded to your post but then couldnt find it so if I have duplicated apologies. Im getting glimmers of hope.  Still feeling very rough and in quite a lot of pain but mostly I suppose I am very very fearful.   I will keep you posted on any improvements that hopefully will happen to me in the not too distant  future.  Chris