Thank you for your reply Vatch.  I am still in despair.  In desperate need of hope that this will be over.  You say you finished radiotherapy in August.  How long before you saw any significant improvement in symptoms.  My side effects increase daily.  The mucus and blocked nose is for me the most distressing because I feel like I am drowning and the feelings of agoraphobia that surfaced whilst wearing that mask during radiotherapy come to the fore and are overwhelming.  Im doing the exercises but still no swallowing function and any sips of water I try find their way into my lungs.. How long before you could swallow.  How long before you could have the tube removed and eat?  Why cant you eat bread or sweet things? are they physically too hard to swallow or is it digestion?  Does food have to be blended at first? You say your voice is operating at 25%.  Is that it or will it improve with time? I am jumping the gun, but have decided that living like this is not living at all and I am so dreadfully unhappy and tired.  I wish I had never started treatment and took my chances.  It was always the treatment that frightened me most and not the actual cancer.  You have given me some hope Vatch and I shall read your blog - which I should have done before treatment and I could have made an informed decision.  Is there anybody out there who can give me some tips, guidance but most of a light at the end of the tunnel.  This is the seventh attempt to reply to you Vatch.  I am a complete dinosaur technophobe and new to the internet and everything I type somehow gets lost into cyberspace before I can send it.  So in summary, wimp that I am, Im still looking for someone to hold my hand really.  Have a great christmas Vatch and anybody else who may read this boring post but I would be grateful for anyones help and advice  Chris

Hello Vatch.  Chris here again.  I have read your blog and it would appear our treatments differ and experiences are not the same.  I have a nasogastric tube and have not been able to eat food since 13th November 20014 because I cant swallow.  How I long to eat, chew, swallow food again but I dont think it is to be.  Im afraid my depression has surfaced big time and I cant see a light at the end of the tunnel for me and my life has no meaning anymore.  I would still like to hear from anybody - including you Vatch to my specific points - who can offer me a glimmer of hope even if just to see me through the next few days. Perhaps I am beyond help now I have spiralled down to such low mood, but for the moment I can live in hope. I forgot to say, it goes without saying that I am so pleased your treatment was successful and I wish you the very best.  Chris

Im sorrry, I dont know who I am replying to - as I sais using the internet is trialand error for me - but thank you for your response.  Well i am in despair.  Unlike you I done have a PEG but a naso gastric tube and have lost all swallow function since 13th November 20014.  I fear I will never get it back.  I cannot have a PEG line to stomach be cause of other medical problems.  I am in despair frankly.  Deeply depressed and suffering panic attacks because of the mucus blocking the throat and my nasal passages being blocked most of the time. Frankly- and I know nobody wants to hear this - but I do wonder why I am putting myself through this and pray (when I do manage to sleep) that I dont wake up.  Dont think Ive got the guts to do anything about this - yet.  I am looking for some crumbs of comfort  I suppose.  I just dont see any light at the end of the tunnel and it is not fair on survivors like yourself to have someone like me begging to have their hand held.  My oncology team at Guys Hospital have been dreadful and apart from getting me a nebuliser my leaving care plan was a sheet of paper showing swallong exercises.  My mucus so bad that I  had to arrange for a suction pump myself.  I have no faith in them whatsoever.  I have one more appointment at Guys on 31st December 2014 and they have handed me over to a local head and neck cancer team at a local hospice.  I guess my next appointment at Guys will be the 12 week pet scan.  I long to feel food in my mouth, swallow, chew, taste.  But no.  I was no big eater to begin with and quite underweight.  I thank you  for your help and I look forward to anything that will keep me to carry on.  Any glimmer of hope.  Any tips or advice.. So sorry to be such a downer at xmas - I am surprised that anybody wants to deal with someone who os in such a negative place,  but I will keep looking and thank you very much again.  Chris

See.  I told you I was a technophobe.  Sorry Vatch.  I realise that I am replying to you now.

Dear Chris, I am very sorry to hear that you are feeling so low after your cancer treatment.  Especially difficult at a time of year when everyone around us is in high spirits!  The only words of comfort I can offer are first and foremost that you are not alone.  I have found this site to be a wonderful source of friendship, encouragement, sounding board, vent for letting off steam and have even managed to share a few laughs along the way.  My cancer was also squamous cell, but of the tonsil, so I guess a bit 'further up the throat' than yours.  I had the same regime of radiotherapy (yes it certainly was brutal ) with weekly chemo sessions and during most of my treatment and several weeks afterwards I was fed by PEG tube into my stomach.   My treatment begain on 23rd December 2013 and ended on 31st January this year.  I still find that food is much less of a pleasure than it used to be.  I do a fair bit of moaning about my lack of food enjoyment, but what I can tell you is that without doubt I can look back on where I was on 31st January and know that I have come a very very long way since then.  I managed to get back to work part-time by April but it took till August/September till I felt reasonably well again.  I remember having some very dark thoughts during some dreadful bouts of sickness (as well as constantly feeling I was choking on mucous) and feeling I would never ever get through it. At the worst times I also questioned whether it was worth putting myself through that hell.  All I can say is that almost a year on, I thank my lucky stars that I did get through it and have just enjoyed a Christmas that was 100% better than last year's.   Hang on on there and I'm sure that you too will look back on this hellish time and realise that you have also come a long way.  'One day at a time' is very sound advice and about as much as I can really offer you but please don't feel bad about wanting to have your hand held - that's precisely what this forum is for and I hope that you will get lots of support from me and others who have been in similar situations.  Hang on in there Chris, we are all behind you every step of the way.  Lots of love, Irene x

Hi Chris,
I can see that you're having a rough post-treatment ride. It's a shame that you don't seem to be getting the sort of after-care that you should expect. If you can't make demands for yourself can your GP assist? Also, I had to be admitted via A&E a couple of times during and post treatment - I was kept in on both occasions to be rehydrated - that tended to kick the cancer doctors and nurses into action. Don't be afraid to present yourself at you local A&E if things get really bad.
Anyway, feel free to contact me for any specific advice - I developed throat cancer in early 2013 and commenced 6 weeks of chemo and radiotherapy in July 2013. At the end of treatment I was fairly rough but it got slowly worse over the next few weeks. Nothing unusual with me and I was very similar to many others - unable to speak for a few weeks. No food or drink by mouth for a couple of months. I would say that it took 3 or 4 months before I was able to get anywhere near normal in terms of day-to-day living. I returned to work in February this year and slowly increased to full hours over about 8 weeks. I was off work for 7 months in total.
Immediately post treatment the mucus was one of the most troubling issues - where does all that stuff come from? Spent a few weeks clutching a bucket and kitchen roll. It does improve really slowly and it does disappear completely in time, but it is one of those side-effects that tends to linger, or it did for me in any case and I know that others were similar in this respect. I think my mucus issue stayed for a couple of months but was only really bad for 3 or 4 weeks.
Nowadays I still have some lingering issues - can no longer eat bread, chips or anything containing black pepper or spices. Can't do refined sugar or anything too hot. I have night sweats and suffer from fatigue. Life is now good though (and will be even better once my final issues are sorted - I won't bore you with all of these).
What I'm trying to put across is that life does improve but it can be incredibly slow - and sometimes it can be a case of one step forward - two steps back. I didn't really notice any progress day to day, or even week to week come to that. Progress is probably better measured on a month by month basis (or even longer). 

Stick with this board - there are some great people on here. Some have drifted away following the recent 'improvements' to the site but it is worth sticking with it. 
I will check in most days so please let me know if their is anything I can help with.
Hang in there, Chris!!
Simon XX