Hi Gina,

I think you're very sensible to wait until after your radiotherapy finishes before you head back to work. From a practical point of view, I would have had to go into work 'late' every day for the 5 weeks of my treatment. But it did make me tired and also my skin became very sore (pelvic radiotherapy) and I was literally unable to sit down for a fair few days! Seems funny looking back, but not so at the time!

I really hope your treatments will all be done and dusted for your special birthday in July! What a fantastic month to have a birthday! My 50th is early next year! Not exactly BBQ party weather!

Well, I've made it to Wednesday and actually taught all day today! I confess to feeling whacked though! Only a half day tomorrow, but it's World Book Day,  so the staff and children are dressing up! I'm going as Mummy Bear! Very easy with a bear onesie and a floral pinny haha!

Probably not the best costume choice for a menopausal women though!

So sorry that you're not feeling on top form. I hope the antibiotics soon kick in and your cough eases.

How was your daughter's flying visit? Or did you have to cancel with your medical appointments?  (glad you got your line checked though)

I'm not surprised you were wiped out this afternoon! The trip out, plus the cough and cold will be taking its toll, so give in to your body and if it says 'rest' don't fight it!

I'm taking some of my own advice and settling on the sofa for a few TV programmes (if the eyelids hold up!)

Take care, Gina, and hope to chat soon,

Love Jo xx

Hi Jo

Hope you are getting the chance to recharge those batteries over the wekend.  How did Mummy Bear go down at school? I think I would struggle with the toillet breaks, stuck in a onesie all day!

So much for my positivity this week! I nose dived on Thursday unfortunately. I don't know whether it was side effects, flu symptoms or what it was but I started to feel really achey, which I have read about but had not until then had any experience of - luckily, it would seem! I managed to get through the day and spent some time with Sophie, which was lovely - she is putting all her efforts into trying to get a placement next year to complement her Uni course. She does think about me but I'm glad that she has so much going on as I don't want her to dwell on things too much - she told me that she doesn't worry too much as I have reassured her that it's all under control - how did I manage that, I wonder, and why can't I reassure myself!!

Anyway I woke up on Friday and literally couldn't move - I know you will have read all this before Jo! but it's a blow to cope with yet another unexpected side effect. The three sessions I have had so far have all been entirely different. Not easy to prepare for emotionally and I have to admit to being a bit of a zombie yesterday. In some ways being on your own is easier because you can shut yourself away and not have to pretend you're better than you are, but in other ways it's tough without a little bit of support. My friend brought me 'meals on wheels' at teatime which was a godsend - she was my guardian angel.

But today is better :-) I am going to spend the weekend getting my strength back up and hopefully can try and pick up some normal activities next week, the weather seems to be getting better too.

On the plus side, no problems with the PICC :-) and I'm going to start looking at flights this week as I'm hoping to be visiting my stepsister in Portugal in September - she retired out there a while ago and we skype a lot but \i've never been.

Something to look forward to :-)

Enjoy the rest of the weekend and hope to hear from you soon :-)

Love, Gina xx

Hi Gina,

I'm really sorry to read how you've been feeling. I wasn't aware of the side effects you are experiencing - presumably different types of chemo brings different side effects and the oncologists only alert you to the ones you are likely to encounter?

Although as you say, it may be unrelated to the treatment and you have a virus of some sort. I hope you soon start to feel better - this weather should help raise all our spirits

Your Sophie's approach to your illness sounds a lot like my Sophie's. We've obviously done a good job with our girls hehe!

I've recently adopted my Sophie's philosophy of 'Not worrying about things outside of my control' and I am getting better at it. Wish I'd practised it sooner!

I managed to get through work and Mummy bear was a great hit! Especially as there was a baby bear and Goldilocks in the class I was in!

I was 'knowledgeably' informed by Goldilocks that "Daddy Bear must be out hunting!"

Your friend does sound like a guardian angel! How thoughtful to bring you a meal. I hope you feel able to ask for support from friends. (asking for help is something I struggle with.)

I hope you have a better week and manage to gain some strength, but take it steady; Something I'm trying to remember as I head back to work tomorrow!

I always tend to try to run before walking!

Happy flight hunting too! I've never been to Portugal either. It's always a bonus having family living in other countries as they can show you the sights!

Well, I'm beginning to struggle putting sentences together and I don't want to subject you to indecipherable tripe so I'll sign out. (I can't blame my wooly head on the chemo anymore!   )

Take care, Gina, and enjoy some sunshine, chat soon,

Love Jo xx

Hi Gina,

Just wondering how you are?

Hope you're feeling a bit better and you've been able to do a few things this week.

This spring weather has certainly brightened my spirits

Take care, hugs, Jo xx

Hi Jo

Yes the sunshine definitely makes a difference - as does being a week into my cycle! I have decided that whatever hit me last week was a virus and not the chemotherapy - I have heard of many people recently with coughs and sore throats who have been struggling. I am feeling better in respect of the treatment :-) but my throat is really sore still and I cough like a trooper all evening and don't get much sleep unless I'm sitting up which is not great, but it's nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I am back on form now having had a bit of a low start to the week - I have been thinking about you but couldn't raise the motivation to reply until now - apologies! Sophie has now secured a placement for next year, I'm very happy for her that her efforts have been rewarded :-) it is disconcerting to receive knockback after knockback when trying so hard. Finding good opportunities in the current climate is so hard for young adults - I am involved with apprentice recruitment and training (which is very rewarding), and the competition is so tough you really have to stand out to be noticed. It's a job in itself to find a job!

I'm not really doing very much worth a mention at the moment, just daily walks around the village to keep active and the occasional lunch with friends - but it's enough. I have signed up for the 5K race for life in July as I should have regained my stamina by then - walking or jogging, we'll have to see! My friend who was, by sad coincidence, diagnosed with lymphoma a week after my own diagnosis, is doing it with me. She has not needed any treatment as yet thankfully but is high risk, and has been told she's a bit of a ticking time bomb - not an easy thing to get one's head around as we are all aware. And Sophie is joining me too - Rob (my son) is most put out that it's a ladies only charity and has resolved to find his own fundraising activity!

How is week two? have you found it hard going? And Jo do you know the next steps of your treatment yet or are you waiting to  hear? It is the hardest thing to put things this significant on a 'back burner' but I imagine if you feel relatively strong that a classroom of young children is as good a place as any to lose yourself for a while.

Steak tonight, to get those red blood cells boosted!

Enjoy the warmer weather and chat soon

Gina xx

Hi Gina

Good to hear that you are upbeat and got a few lovely things planned, and chemo is less problematic with the PICC line.

I've got a bit of a cold at the moment too, hopefully it will be out of the way before my third chemo on Wednesday.  I had a long weekend away in Bruges last weekend in lovely sunshine, and it always seems to me that I am more likely to land a cold when there is a significant change in the weather. I'm a bit wary about blood counts etc the further I go along the chemo track, so Monday is the red letter day, meantime like you I'm eating right.

I'm also up for the Race for Life, which is to be held in June locally, and I'm planning to do it in whatever way my body can deal with.  Hopefully I'll be through to June without having surgery on my leg otherwise it is going to be a long haul on crutches! I've been adding friends to my team so we are 7 strong now and they are willing volunteers - honest!, and like you I also have some male supporters who would have loved to join in with us so I have gently explained it is the pink T shirt brigade (of course that in itself wouldn't faze some men at all).  Cancer research does seem to be a cause which is close to so many people's hearts.

Best wishes

Gill x

Hi Gill

I'm so pleased you had a lovely weekend in Bruges - I did think of you :-) can't wait to do something myself but I'm not brave enough to make plans out of the county at the moment! Still, I'm now almost at the halfway point in my chemotherapy :-) so I am telling myself that come May 6 (last one!!) I will arrange to do something - even if it's just a weekend by the sea, or a trip to the Lakes. I firmly believe that having nice things on the calendar keeps me going!

Having said that, this disease has a nasty habit of interfering with people's plans hasn't it - I really hope you are able to complete your race for life challenge. You are much more knowledgeable than I am on what to eat Gill, although truth is I know enough -  I'm just not the best at eating the right things! I've been blessed with good health until now and been lazy with my nutrition - particularly now the children are older and it's just me. So I know I need to up my game when I'm back on my feet after all this - got to start taking more care of this body of mine! My 50th year is a completely new start in many ways for me.

Lovely to hear from you, hopefully you can shift your cold over the weekend, I think the weather is set fair :-). All the best for next Wednesday, I hope you are not affected by any of those nasty side effects and it is manageable for you.

Love Gina xx

Hi Gina,

Glad  to read you're back on form. And you're nearly half way there with your chemo! It's amazing how soon the time goes, especially after the half way mark. The finishing line seems to come into view pretty quickly after that!

I hope you didn't feel 'stalked' by my additional post - no apology necessary for not replying sooner,  I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you.

It's great that your Sophie has now secured a placement. I know a few young adults (friends children) who have struggled to 'move on' with the next steps of their education / working life - and not through any lack of trying on their part! It really does seem tough at the moment. Your job certainly sounds a rewarding one, though I'm guessing, frustrating sometimes?

It's taken my Sophie 3 years (post-grad) to get on her chosen career path, course! But that's her sorted now for the next two and a half years! My perpetual student daughter!

My son (coincidently, also a Rob!) is in his final year at Uni. Hopefully, he's got his head in a book as he's in the midst of final exams! His approach to learning is much more laid back than his sister's! He has absolutely no idea what he wants to do when he graduates!

Race For Life eh? Good for you! I've done it a couple of times, but many years ago! It's great that your friend and Sophie are doing it with you. I did it with friends and the commeradery (sp?) was brilliant - even though they did run faster than me!

Well, two weeks at work ticked off! I did struggle with the sniffles at the end of the week though! In reality, I could have done with Thursday in bed, but I didn't think it would have looked too good, ringing in sick! Hehe!

I self medicated a medicinal sherry! It seemed to do the trick - I slept all night and woke up on Friday feeling brighter, though still with a red nose!

Not sure whether that was from the constant wiping or the sherry!

My boss has willingly authorised another 'phased' week next week - almost back up to full time, but 2 half days off! It's then only 3 weeks until we break up for Easter!

You kindly asked about my next treatment plan. I've just had a date through for my next MRI scan (Easter Saturday at 6.00 pm) What a strange date and time! I've had weekend appointments before, but I presumed there would be no appointments over the Easter weekend!

This has slightly scuppered my plan about not telling my family when my appt was (I know they worry and I wanted to protect them from too many weeks of fretting!) My mum is likely to invite us to stay for Easter, so I'll either have to tell a little white lie, or just tell them about the scan!

Still got a few weeks to be 'vague' yet!

This scan will be the decider as to whether I can have a liver resection op - or not! The magic number is 3! If there are still only 3 tumours present (last scan showed 3) I will have an operation. If more tumours have developed, we may have to look at alternatives! Not sure what they are yet! Chemo is not an option as I showed an intolerance to it - one of the 5% who do!   (Apologies if I've said all this in previous posts!)

There is so much that is up in the air at the moment, hence the 'Going back to work' strategy! Keep my mind full of literacy, numeracy and children's chatter! Rather than the dark 'what ifs?' But I'm not worrying as it's out of my control! Que sera, sera and all that!

Well, it's dull but dry here, so I'm planning an hour or two in the garden. My partner power hosed the patio yesterday so its gleaming appearance has inspired me to make the rest of the garden look as impressive! Though Alan Titchmarsh I'm not!

Enjoy your weekend, Gina. Hope it involves a gentle walk and some lunch with friends or family!

And there's no rush to reply!

Love and hugs to you, Jo xx

Hi Jo!

I think I've finally shifted this cough/cold after three weeks! I've been trying to lead an almost normal life this week, lunches out, canal walks and manicures! And there's you back to full time next week! I hope you are 'phased in' and will be able to stay on top of everything for three more weeks - Easter is a busy time.

Easter Saturday IS a strange time to have a scan - but I suppose it's not significant in the hospital calendar. I'm sure it's preying on your mind but your routine will help you hold on. Have you fessed up to the family yet? I really hope you get a good result Jo - neither is an enviable outcome but to know it can be controlled will be such a boost.

Sophie AND Rob??? that is a spooky coincidence! And they sound similar in character too - I'm so proud of mine - seems as you have said before, that we did a good job!!

I am meeting my dad and his partner for lunch today, they have been in Cape Town for their annual two month disappearing trick to avoid the British winter - all right for some! So he has been completely unaware of what I have been going through. If he tries to be concerned and sympathetic I'm afraid he might get a mouthful! even if he is 77.

It's lovely to have someone to keep in touch with Jo so don't think you're stalking me! I'm trying not to think about next week because I know it will be rubbish, but at least then I will be on the downward slope and next time I see the oncologist (in three weeks) we will be talking about radiotherapy! If that's not a sign that the chemo is coming to an end then I don't know what is!

Take care and keep on keeping on. We are good at that.

Love Gina xx

Hi Gill

I hope  your chemo session went okay and you are not suffering too much, I have been thinking about you. I saw my oncologist on Friday and I'm all set for round 4 on Monday, I always refer to it that way as it feels like a boxing match - I WILL win, but I'm getting bashed about a bit in the process! The nurses have told me not to Google so much as I know too many negative side effects of the dreaded Taxotere! so I have decided I'm not thinking about it any more!

I have booked tickets to see Dawn French in June :-) think I'll be more than ready for a night out and a giggle by then, and to celebrate the end of my chemo all being well! so my calendar now has something on it for June, July (Race) and September (Portugal)!  :-)

Take care of yourself Gill and chat when you can.

Love Gina xx