So the holiday has been cancelled, but hey ho - I still get two weeks off work to do nothing but spend my time with her   Bloke who owns the property has reserved it for us for same time next year... now I just have to get the cash off Ryanair...

Chemo starts on 15th - a week tomorrow. She isn't looking forward to losing her hair, but has already purchased replacement

Oncologist gave no options - quoted no numbers and no percentages. Had read through the notes. Agreed with her that preventative bilat mast. was a sensible idea. Commented that although particular cancer was not that aggressive, it is always wise to do whatever is required to make as certain as possible, and she will do whatever it takes to make as certain as possible.

I hope your op went well Doreen

Hi

Ah bless you, I lost my hair in December and I have to say it was a huge deal for me as I promised my late husband I'd never cut it, but, a big plus, I love my new look, it's growing really slowly, however it's proved great to be so short during this period in hospital, so easy to look after. My husband actually wants me to shave it off again.

Having said that I understand how your wife feels, it's a big deal, please get her to pm me if she wants someone to chat to, I spoke to a lady who had already lost hers and it helped immensely.

I see that chemo is imminent and she must be nervous again I've done that so I am happy to answer any questions she has.

I wish you all the best and will be thinking about you both on the 15th.

Oh and there will be plenty of time for holidays after and just think of no hot hair dryers and straighteners, look on the bright side

The op went well, I have posted an update. Thank you,for asking Jacksnakes.

Love and hugs Dor xx

Sunday she said she wasn't doing it, packed her case and said she was off to her mother's. The bilat lastectomy was a mistake, and was my fault because I said she had made the right decision at the time, said I'd been doing stuff I shouldn't have with someone I shouldn't have, got in the car and left.

Came back.

We had a chat.

She has the world on her shoulders - a world she doesn't deserve, and is doing something awful. At first it was our fault because she is only doing it for us - I said you should do whatever you think is best for you - I am no doctor and have no opinion except that whatever she decides to do, I will support her. Said I didn't want to see her go through this, but if I said so, and she didn't do it, and the cancer came back, I would feel guilty about it. She said she would feel guilty if she decided... I said but at least that would be your choice.

Bit uneasy, she took pillows and quilt downstairs for a sleep on the couch... came back up later.

Monday morning, Sunday forgotten about.

I expected the up and down stuff - had it before. This was quite upsetting, but hey-ho - she always was a feisty little ***. I wouldn't love her so much if she wasn't.

Shopping today - stocking up on boiled sweets and juice to take the horrible taste away that she is expecting. Not sure when the haircut is coming but likely to be soon. I will be at the hospital on Thursday with her - 1pm. May be a few hours...

Hi Jack

wow definitely a bit of an up and downer.  Mind you emotions are all over the place at the moment.

The change to taste does not happen immediately but usually starts a day or two later.  Some things can taste normal and others taste awful and there seems to be nor rhyme nor reason as to which is which.  One thing I was advised was to try Lucozade (cannot drink water only orange squash).  There are various flavours (ignore the melonade it is just weird).  It might be because it is fizzy but it does taste fine so might be worth a try.

I was warned 1st session knocks your for six, 2 3 and 4 are not too bad and 5 and 6 again tend to knock you for six because of the cumulative effect.  for me after session 1 was almost on eggshells waiting for something to happen but not much did really.  I have been very lucky in that my body seems to have coped with chemo remarkably well.  A lot of people do have a hard time of it but it is one of those things that affect each person differently.

Best of luck for 15.

Gill

Glad that is over! Poor soul - her head was all over the place this morning - still ready to bolt like a rabbit even on the way to hospital - but she went through with it. Felt a bit lightheaded afterwards, and her arm is very sore, but apart from that it's good. I should imagine I'll be giving her a trim over the weekend.

I am very proud of her.

J

Hi Jack

so glad to hear the your wife did go through with the chemo and that apart from a very sore arm she is ok.  I have to say apart from last week when I had a cannula in for five days I have not had any problem with sore arms or hands.  Mind you Wednesday of last week I have seven needles in me which is not something I enjoyed.

Keep any eye on your wife over the next few days as she will need your support.  With me I was fine for the first fews day apart from tastes changing and lack of appetite which lasted for about 10 days but it was usually around day 13 or 14 that I would feel rough which could last a few days.  I struggled more with lack of appetite and changes in taste and did lose weight to begin with.  It is very hard to eat anything when you have no appetite and most things taste like cardboard.  Stronger flavours tend to be best but just take the lead from her.  My husband used to moan at me constantly about nto eating much until I threatened him with a frying pan so be warned!

Very best of luck and I know you will support your wife all through this.

Gill

Thanks Gill.

She sent me a text last night as I was on my way home from work to say she had cut all her hair off...

I was concerned about what I would think when I saw her - her hair has always been long and dark.

When I got home it was half an inch long.

She didn't look any different to me, which surprised me, but pleased me no end

She is still in a fair bit of discomfort from the expanders she currently has in, and will have in now until the chemo is finished in late August, so I don't think any sickness or lethargy has been noticed yet.

She is going completely overboard from the start about cleanliness and infection - alcohol washes all over the place etc etc... which I am happy to encourage - although we have three cats and two dogs, and the cats spend much of their time with their claws stuck into some poor unfortunate bird or mammal... maybe we need little footbaths at the doors...

It is all good so far. She needs looking after, and I want to look after her. It won't be easy but nothing is worth doing if it's easy.

Hi Jack

Glad she id doing ok.  With regard to the hair I lost so much of time just before my second chemo that I went to the hairdresser to have it shaved.  Wa suprised by how much was still left.  If it helps your wife cope by cutting her hair then fine.  It is nice that you don't really notice the difference although I am sure you did the first time.  I expected to really hate losing my hair but to be honest it has not bothered me much.  The only annoying thing is that the wig makes my head really hot.

I must say I did not go overboard on the cleaning.  I sarted using baby wash and baby oil and shampoo to make sure there were not perfumes or parabens in them.  Am pleased to say shampoo and baby wash have just finished and baby oil will be finished in next day or so so will be back to normal on that front.  I am really loving all these lasts.

Just support your wife as best you can.

Gill

Obviously spoke too soon. An hour after my last post she phoned and said she was going back to work soon.

Three hours later she texted me saying she wished she was dead, she felt so bad...

The weekend has been ups and downs and I suppose that is what we have to look forward to over the next few months - hopefully she will have more ups than downs - breaks my heart to see her feeling so bad.

She tried to do dinner yesterday while I was out doing the shopping, then tried to put some of the shopping away before I had finished bringing it all in - ended up sitting on the floor crying because she couldn't manage it.

Letting agent coming to do six-monthly check on Thursday and it is stressing her out no end. I might just phone them today and ask if it can be put back or something - I don't know if it will be possible.

J