Afternoon Max

Just pinching James' thread to wish you all the very best with your op.  Will be keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you the best possible outcome.Jules xx

Thank you Jules

     II am so greatful for your post which i have read twice already and Max`s the same as this is the only place where i can express my feelings and get a reply which is worth listening too my thinking on my options is driving me lower as the results from all seem to have not so good outcome`s for me the rt gives a lot of extra damage the ablation from what i can tell from where the tumor is situated is not good and the operation allowes me a 40 perscent chance of coming off the ventlator never mind things could be worse, thank you so much Max for your precious time which you should be useing on your own family also you jules you have so much to do with hubby.

              love and huggs james xxx

James please dont get down-hearted - try and look at it that you are lucky there are options available for you and that you have not been told that there is nothing that can be done. Hope is a very important thing to hang on to in this journey.  Sometimes these procedures will cause other damage to tissue etc but it doesnt necessarily mean that this will cause you any significant problems.  Only your consultant can tell you this, based on your scan results.  Please try and stay positive my friend - I know its not always easy.  Always here for you x

Morning James

Just to agree with Max I think you must concentrate on yourself (this is not the selfish but commonsense route), explain to your nearest and dearest you have to have the right information to be able to make your decision regarding the choices (perhaps it would enable your daughter to help if she could do some research for you, as one of my problems is the feeling of inadequacy in being able to help in any way whilst being shut out) you are facing.  I can see you are battling within yourself, against the silence of the family who I can only imagine dont know what to say or do in case its not the right words to help (I struggle with the right words to speak directly to my hubby whereas on the forum , as you know,I suffer constantly with attacks of the 'verbals').  Keep sharing with the forum and talk things through (as if you are talking to yourself) and we will do our best to keep you company in your quest to make things easier.  Sending hugs and peaceful thoughts. Jules xx

Hi James

Really hope you will reach a decision which is right for you and you are so right when you say you get lots of advice but its your body and thus you are in control (though doubt it feels that way sometimes).  Are you taking any medication in relation to your low moods.  My hubby's oncologist and gp recognised his'sadness' at not being able to work and they have put him on low dose anti-depressants. Not sure if he feels any different but I dont know what he would be like without them!!  Hopefully during the coming week you will be able to get more information from your medical team as to what they can/cant do/recommend.  Its such a shame that you cannot rejoice in the safe arrival of your new grandchild but the cancer has a lot to answer for!! Our newest grandson is now nearly 4 months and thriving.  Today hubby 'held the baby' whilst my daughter underwent her latest round of blood tests and he was quite bright when I got in from work - thinks he gets frustrated at not being able to do things he used to and today showed him he is not at useless as he seems to think.  We had a lovely weekend away with friends (once we recovered from almost being blown over on arrival and he got his breath back).

It is also a great shame that your wife will not talk with you about your illness and can only assume that she feels she can pretend its not happening if its not talked about.  Hubby knows all about how frustrated I am that he cannot talk about things but I dont want to upset him and so my protective nature has taken over and I find out from his support team 'where he's at'.

The day we went away we had district and hospital community nurses call in beforehand to check he had all he needed (they are part of his consultant's direct team and can act as go between so we have 24/7 contact numbers too).  As he has been given morphine tablets to use as and when required the nurse will come in every couple of weeks to check his pain levels which will help.  So far so good as he has only taken 2 tablets on a 'needs must' basis and as they are for the evening he can still drive during the day.

Please take care and I hope chatting on the forum can help you a little during this stressful period.  Sending huge hug.Jules xx

Hi Jules

               How is everything going wit you I do hope that things are not too bad is Hubby feeling any better yet i thought that you might like to know that i have seen the surgeon in Heartlands and after an examination he seems to think that i am a candadate for the operation so all the worry about choices has been taken out of my hands and the operation has been set for the third week in March i have not got a firm date yet as they are playing catch up on a back log, i will let you know when i know i still feel clogged up in my chest but it comes and gos the pain is the thing that is getting me down and i wont miss that.

                         Best Wishes Love and Huggs James xxx

Hi Max

           I hope that you are feeling well and your operation went well just thought you would like to know that my operation has been set for the third week in March at the moment i am still all cloged up and having a lot of pain i hope that the operation will take that away ,I do hope also that your operation went well and has had the proper effect making you feel a little better ,i will let you know when i have got a date.

               Best Wishes Love and Huggs James xxx

Morning James

Lovely to read your update and that decision making is a thing of the past and your surgeon has agreed you can have the operation.  Hopefully it's not too long before you have a definite date but you must feel some relief just knowing you are not on 'hold' anymore but moving towards treatment.  Just wish they could find some way to relieve your pain in the meantime as its much easier to cope day to day if you are not being constantly reminded with the pain you feel.  Keep the forum in the know when you can as to how its all going.

Hubby's  pain is being kept under control with the 'as and when 10mg morphine tablet' he has as a standby 'add on' and in the last couple of weeks he has taken just 4 so pretty good really.He is, as always keeping his feelings to himself but I have less guesswork these days as he is now under the hospital's community nurse attached to his consultant and we have a 'notes folder' in the house for them to update when they call (now about once a month unless hubby requests visit).  He saw his GP on Friday and though he has a chesty sounding cough this is build up of phlegm and  no infection showing up which was another positive.

We had my daughter and family and his sister to dinner last night and its amazing how much he manages to eat when we have visitors but usually just having two meals a day now with a chocolate/crisps lunch - at least he is eating!

How are your wife and children coping now - any luck with getting them to listen?

Take care James and stay in touch.  Sending kind thoughts and hugs.  Jules xx

Hello Again Jules

             I am so pleased to hear about your news with regards to Hubby tell him that i am thinking of him and that i know what the chesty coughr are like Horrid, I dont know if i remembered to let you know that my youngest Daughter has given birth to a bouncing baby boy 8lb 6oz she has called him Albie and he is smashing also another thing what other pain relief does Hubby get i have two 20mg morphine sashets in the morning and one 20mg and one 3omg sachet dose a day plus oramorph as a top up to hold the pain plus either cocodomol or ibruprofen as a back up and still the pain breaks through at times, any way it is good to hear from you.

                              love and huggs James xxx