Dear James,

I've been following your story, but unlike Jules and Max, I haven't posted very often on your thread.

I'm sorry to read how low you're feeling and how you're still suffering with your chest infection.

I just wanted to wish you well for your lung test on Thursday.

You mentioned that your case will be discussed the following Wednesday. I know what you mean about things 'getting moving' but seemingly, not quickly enough! I think we all find the 'waiting' a difficult thing to cope with.

Take good care of yourself, James and keep posting here.

Love and hugs, Jo xx your 'twin avatar'

Morning James

Ithink the word you are looking at in regards to your wife's way of handling your illness is almost 'denial'.  If she thinks and tells you there is nothing to worry about she can nearly believe its not happening! Absolutely no support to you when you are handling the reality of a very painful condition and the not knowing what will happen next and having  no one to share it with (in the real world anyway) is helping to cause your low mood.  Please do contact your doctor tomorrow so that you can have your chest checked and more medication prescribed as you yourself know how you feel and what help you require. As 'only a watcher on the sidelines'I cannot begin to know the agonies you are going through both physically and mentally but rest assured this virtual world of the forum has plenty of 'listening ears' so keep sharing when you need to.

Where my hubby is concerned I know he finds it emotionally draining to talk about whats going on (and of course he does not need the constant reminder of the incurable disease he has no control over) and to an extent think he feels he can protect me somewhat by not worrying me.  I am a born worrier anyway but do have the wonderful support of my virtual friends here and also very importantly my children and several close friends who are keeping me 'sane'.  On that note weare expecting to see my daughter son in law and our grandchildren sometime today when they pop in to pick up a bike we have been storing.  It wont fit in their car so they will load it into our estate and hubby will drive it to their place (10mins away).

As far as your lung capacity test is concerned sadly for both you and your wife, you cannot force better results than your lungs can manage and if you are not well enough to exercise (hubby manages slow walking and a few armchair exercises that his physio gave him) would not do you any good to overdo it!!  Do hope when the results of the test are known they can tailor your treatment to help you lead a better quality of life.   Take care and best wishes to you and thefamily.  Jules x

     DEAR jO

Thank you so much for reading my posts well today i went to have my lung function test today now i really feel washed out i became hot bothered and my head swam a lot but i hope that i have passed the very first test was the one i did whilst in hospital and did a little better the others i did not enjoy but did my best it took me one hour to do them all, how they will deal with the cancer if i have not passed then i dont know, i have not read any news of Max of late i hope she is well any way all the best to you and your health.

                     all my love and huggs  James  xxx

Hi James - just spotted your post!  Im sorry to hear that you continue to feel so under the weather, and your family support still appears to be non-existent. You are coping with so much alone - and my heart goes out to you my friend.

I havent posted quite so much in the past few weeks cos I seem to have been up and down to hospitals a lot just lately, and not had time to catch up!  To cut a very lengthy story short - today I have had a bone scan cos I have been having a bit of back pain and the docs are concerned that the BC may have spread to the bones. I should know on Monday/Tuesday what the results are.  If the scan is OK, I am going into hospital in London on the 28th for an operation on the 29th to remove my new liver tumour.  I am fine James - had a few 'jittery' days a week or so ago but am feeling well and quite positive about things now.

I do hope you get good results from your lung function test - and that you get some medication to at last clear your lingering infection up. It would be so much easier to cope if you could at least feel a little stronger physically.  Take care my friend.  Max x

Morning James,

So glad you've got those tests out of the way. I'm not surprised you feel washed out. Did one of the tests involve breathing into a machine for as long as you could? I remember doing one like that for an asthma review and the nurse kept saying, "Keep going! Keep breathing out!" I felt dizzy after it all as I was sure I emptied every ounce of my breath into that machine!

Do I remember rightly that you get the results next Wednesday? I hope the waiting isn't too stressful and that you manage to have a peaceful and pain free weekend.

Take care, James and I'll pop in for a chat, next week! Wouldn't it be lovely if we could all meet up over a cuppa? Bet there'd be lots of hugs all round!

Well, as we can't have a cuppa together, I'll have mine here. It's cup number 3 already this morning!

I wake early and can't just lie there, so I've sorted out a drawer and cleaned the fridge! Need a rest now

Big hugs to you, Jo xxx

Max, thanks for your PM. Will reply soon xxx

Good morning Max

           Hello again well i am so pleased to hear from you again and so sorry to hear about your problems which bring my little problems into the shadows and also makes me such a whimp even though i know that is not the truth well i had my Lung function test yesterday and did a little better than when i was in hospital I am now hopeing that i have done enough to pass the test as on this test lies the further history of my Cancer treatment i have no idea what they will do if i fail to show that my left lung can cope with the loss of any or all of my right.

                                    love and huggs James

Morning James

Glad to read that your tests have  now been completed and hope that when the results come through you are placed into a better position for moving your treatment/op forward to improve your situation. Hope too that your pain levels/chest infection are better and do keep us up to date with how you are doing.  My hubby is about to start a change to his medication regime, moving from 12hrly slow release drugs to medication three times daily (his GP is hoping this will cut out a bit of 'breakthrough' discomfort he had been experiencing).  He is still struggling with the aftermath of the cold/cough and that in turn has affected his appetite at times but no doubt I will find out a bit more when he has his 3mth check up in a couple of weeks with his hospital consultant/support team.

Take care and have a peaceful weekend.  virtual hugs.  Jules xx

Hi Max,

Sure James will forgive me for pinching his thread to wish you a peaceful weekend. I see from your message to him that you are to undergo surgery later this month to get rid of your liver tumour and want to wish you well with that procedure with a quick recovery and return to the family.  Hope you will be able to keep the forum in the loop as and when you get a moment.  Your continuing support to others on this site when you are going through so much yourself shows a wonderfully caring and considerate lady.  Sending hugs. Jules xx

Hello Jules

           yes the Lung function tests do hold what will happen to me next i am just hopeing that i have passed well enough for my surgeon to do his work i am sure that when the surgeon has done his work and taken away the bad Lung then i will be able to breath better as the good Lung will not keep getting clogged up so i will be able to breath better but at the moment i cannot get rid of it no antibiotics work and it is causeing me so much pain i have not seen the Mac Nurse for a while I dont know what she is doing, i think that i shall have to contact her to see if she can help me to get pain relief,i am pleased to hear that your Hubby is having his pain relief regiem altered i do hope it works. I really think that i need help with my moods i do know that i would never hurt another but i am getting low for my self.

                     love and huggs james xxx