Morning James,

See you find the forum when having to get up so early (me too on the nights my sleep is cut short).  Hubby is lucky in that he can 'sleep for England' (even before diagnosis!!). Nowadays he tends to stay up until the early hours (1-2 a.m. watching tv) and then sleeps in till around 9.30.  However, he also dozes on and off during the day.  So far he has not been given oromorph (is on maximum dosage tramadol for his  pain and is re-assessed 3monthly at present).  He never talks about how he feels but after 40+ years together (36 married) I am getting used to reading his face (much to his annoyance when I question him!!).  Its a strange, unwanted, life we are now having to live but somehow the coping mechanism works most of the time.

I really  hope your third surgeon is quick to decide the necessary course of action/treatment required for your wellbeing.  I find sometimes the mental side is worse than the physical effects and the stress of worrying about what is ahead causes more concern because you cannot see it and thus feel out of control.  On a very big plus side this forum has such a wonderful support  network  its like belonging to a 'strangers' family because the understanding and care shown reflects the people who are here and yet will never know on a personal level.  I think that is why its easier to be open and share those feelings we try to hide from our loved ones.

Wishing you and your wife a peaceful day and weekend ahead.  Jules x

Hi Jules & James - got a date (but not the nice kind haha). My op is 16th x

Hi Max

Hopefully the date you have now got (if not with the man of your choice) of the 16th will see you back with your family to enjoy the festivities having kicked your liver tumor into touch.  Know the waiting you now have to endure will be an anxious period for you all. Me and the forum support network are around when needed.  Virtual hugs.Jules x

Hello Max

       Really really p[leased to get your news i hope it was exactly what you were waiting for,just wish i could say the same thin for my self but i have had no post today again so it will not be untill next week now, still you have been through all of this expectation and worry your self, now just concentrate on your self  now for a while and get over this next hurdle and we can all cheer you up as you recuperate and get back on your feet, al the best and Virtual Huggs.

                       regards         James xx

Hello To All

              Well even though i am taking the two new anti biotics I woke up this morning , and my Chest is really sore nothing i do seems to sooth it I have been doing all the exercises suggested to me by my physio, i have come to the end of my teather has any other person found that the pain relief does not work unless you over do it,  but that is no way to live your life not knowing if you are awake or not.

                          regards   James

Hi James

So sorry you are still experiencing so much pain. It must be very difficult coping with day to day things when you cannot get any relief.  I wish I had some answers for you.  My hubby only suffers what he called 'discomfort' and I often notice him rubbing his chest as if this somehow gives him relief (but we both now think this has become somewhat of a habit ). He too is doing exercises (on and off!!) but this relates to this is do with restricted movement in his shoulders/upper arms.  As far as I know, antiobiotics alone deal with any infection but you would still generally need painkillers alongside.  Whenever hubby had breakthrough pain he contacted his support team and they arranged a 'new cocktail' which has been working fine now for 6 months.  Maybe its a case of a re-think as to your current medication regime. Can you speak to your doc/McMillan support.  I do know that hubby's oncologist told him that there are always other pain refief options so never to 'suffer in silence' so think maybe a call to them would be a reasonable thing to do.  Know this is not much help as each case is individual and the lack of sleep (I relate to this though hubby sleeps more than he is awake some days/nights) also seems to heighten the awareness.  Hope you can find a solution soon.  virtual hugs. Jules x

Hi Jules

            Thank you very much for your supporting post, I think that you are right the best thing for me to do is contact my Mac nurse and see what she suggests, i am so pleased to hear that your Hubby is nearly with out pain A good night sleep will help but i have to wake up to give myself pain relief heres hoping

                                            Real thanks and Virtual Huggs  James xx

   P,S Give my best wishes to your Hubby and say i know how he feels, and keep on fighting

Evening James,

Just hoping you  managed to get some sleep (deprivation of rest seems to highlight the low moments and make it harder to cope). and wondering whether your MAc nurse was able to help your pain.  In my thoughts.  Have to thank you for message to hubby - he is pretty non-commital as is the norm but I find it reassuring that others are helping me cope so many thanks from !!)!!)me.  He had his physio today which apparently was 'ok' and he will go back again (need to probe to find out date so I can put it on the calendar !!).  Hope your wife is okay too. best wishes  Jules x

Hi James

Its so hard to be upbeat when you feel let down by the system and now have to wait until early in the New Year before you can move forward and get something happening treatmentwise.  I can certainly understand your 'in limbo' emotions.  Hubby's mood has been a struggle since the terminal diagnosis, almost two years ago now but there are no treatment options for him other than pain relief so I am grateful that so far that is working.  He has been put on anti-depressants by our GP as his low mood is linked to the fact he had to give up work (he was a workaholic!!) and has no motivation to do anything other than watch tv though I am still able to get him to go and visit friends or the supermarket.  Its such a shame as whilst he can still be doing everything for himself it would be good if he could enjoy the life he has been blessed with.

I am afraid this cancer journey effects all the family and you should not be worried about your wife and children noticing how you feel. From a wife's perspective, we are going to worry inside irrespective of how things look on the outside and confiding in our children (very difficult at the outset) has given us an extra support network.  Though my husband does not like to talk about his illness the physical/mental affects are there for anyone to see and we are all taking the long journey with him whether he likes it or not.  I know he would do the same for me but its very hard having to watch/wait and having no control.  Keep talking on the forum, James, I have found it helps a bit.  Virtual hugs. Jules x