Good morning Jules.

                 your and your hubbies situation really remindes me of my situation,i am so sorry that your husband cannot bring him self to join our little community but when i was first diagnosed with cancer five years ago i went for my Radio Therapy on the same days as a few others whom i came to call my friends but there was one man there who would not talk about it and if you tried to broach the subject with him he became very fiery and with drew into him self, so as Max56 says everyone has their way of coping. I do hope that in the fulness of time that your hubby will feel that he can come out of his protective shell,as i do hope with my wife.

                       best wishes  grandadbob14    aka  (james) xxx

Thanks Max, its actually really helpful  having an insight as to how others cope with similar situation and this forum makes sure you never feel alone even it at times you feel lonely (if that makes sense!!).  Hubby  got up after  returned from an early outing to the launderette (like to get it out of the way so was there by 7.30 and home before 9).  Hubby got up as I was doing the ironing and having had his breakfast is now asleep in his favourite chair so I am catching up with my mail over a cup of coffee.  The drug cocktail he has to take every 12 hours (slow release painkillers, anti depressents, anti acids) are doing a great job of keeping pain in check but do mean he sleeps a great deal when we are at home but he manages very well when we are out so cannot complain.  We have a social weekend ahead, out with friends tonight and tomorrow and then our grandson's 5th birthday party on Sunday -  needless to say weekends leading up to Christmas are pretty full and hubby seems happy enough to go to all the events so think thats why he 'switches off' when we are at home (its like he is in recovery mode after putting in the effort to put on that brave face when with everyone else).

Anyway Max hope  you and the family have a peaceful weekend and thanks so much for being here when you have so much to be dealing with in your own journey - so much appreciated.  Hugs. Jules x

Hello Again Jules

                   I read your posts and think to my self why OH why could that not be my wife talking,one of her ways around the need for conversation about it is she comes with me on all my appointments,so gettingf all the same information as me,what is exasperating is that she will then discuss me with the children when i am not around,but not talk with me when i broach the subject then she says that we both know all that is going on with my case, but i need the comforting chit chat that we did have five years ago before this awful Cancer took hold,,and i thought that because they were going to sign me off in January i thought that we could get back to it,then they hit me with the fact that the Cancer was back in my neck plus a Primary Cancer in my right lung I thought only in the upper lobe but they think it may be in the lower lobe and nodes.

                               kind regards  grandadbob14   AKA    (James) xxx                           

Hi James - am so glad that you have found Jules who understands exactly your difficulties about talking to your wife. Thanks for the information about your peg - when will you have it fitted do you think? Does it go into the tummy or throat? Sounds an uncomfortable procedure but I am sure it will help you a lot, it must be awful to choke when eating, pretty frightening.

I have been in hopital all afternoon having my 3-wkly Herceptin infusion - so had a nice snooze and got some lunch! I have appointments on Monday and Tuesday with Consultants to talk about removing my new liver tumour. Im not sure I want to take the risks involved, because it is growing directly onto a main vein - so it may stay where it is!!!

Hope your weekend is a good one - I am off to a football match tomorrow, brrrrrrrrr! Feel cold just thinking about it!  Take care x

hello my good friend Max.

       yes you are right it was fantastic to find Jules and so close to my circumstances going back to my peg well due to finance cuts they will not  be fitting the right one till after next April until then i have to continue asperating into my lung`s, late this afternoon the secretary of my cheast surgeon called and during their meeting they have decided to take more biopseys this will take place either in Gloucester or Hereford but i am not sure of the time yet,so things are moveing along,it is just how long now,really really thank you very much for your support and putting me on to Jules.

                all my regards  James xxx

Hi James

Am back indoors having been out for the evening and enjoyed a chat with my friend.  Hubby went down the local with her other half and seems to have enjoyed the break. Obviously he is limited to what he drinks but really do believe its good for him to be out socialising for a couple of hours even if its only his arm he is exercising.  On the subject of the children in the general scheme of things (we have two grown up children and their other halves plus our daughter has two boys of 5yrs (today) and six weeks!!).  When my hubby was first diagnosed nearly 2yrs ago he asked that I keep them informed as he finds it too emotional to talk about.  So I am the middleman so to speak.  My parents were good chatterboxes so maybe thats where I get  it from (I am an only child) where my hubby's folks were very much like him (and his brother and sister are not talkers either).  It must be difficult for you not to have loved ones to chat to and not very nice being talked about behind your back when you would obviously prefer to communicate with them yourself.  So glad you found Max (and me) to chat with and do hope you will soon be able to begin treatment when they decide what and where to treat.  Must be very difficult waiting to know what it going on.  At the moment my hubby has check ups about every three months but is able to call up his consultant if he notices changes so they can get him back in earlier to adjust medication/offer advice or support services. Currently he is being annoyed by increased indigestion (its not my cooking, honest) and we are trying smaller portions (childlike) and the little and often regimen to see if that helps.  Hope you have a peaceful weekend and will chat again soon. Take care. Jules x

Hi meerkat@65

            well i suppose it was going to happen today i feel really ill i started of with cold sweats now it has turned into hot sweats also i have chest pains, i have slept most of the day too sleep through it,i hope the pain relief will work,  hopefully the cancer people will contact me earlier rather than later on this week to let me have an appointment.

                                           yours         grandadbob14          james           

Hi James

Have just read your update and am sorry you feel so ill.  Really think you should get in touch with your GP asap as you may need a change of medication and if those chest pains continue get yourself checked out at A&E.. Do let us know how  you are but do not suffer whilst waiting for an appointment to come through.  Sending hugs. Jules x

Hi Max

      I am not feeling quite so bad as i did i had a word with my Mac nurse and they ltered my medication a little, so i think that the pain is now under control how are you well as can be expected i  hope,talk again soon.

                love grandadbob14     aka   james