Small Cell lung cancer

My Mum has been diagnosed with Small Cell lung cancer, (...well, they said last week they're 99% sure it's small cell. I think this will be confirmed tomorrow).

It's been such a huge shock, until Christmas Mum was swimming 30 lengths a day plus long walks and pilates weekly, she only stopped swimming because she developed a rash, then came a niggling cough, wheezing, then breathlessness, and now this this bombshell.

Mum is 65. The hospital have said they can only offer chemo, palliative care. They said there were smaller shadows around the larger one and fluid on her lung. At the following appointment with more tests they said it's in her lynth nodes and nodules. (this was last week).

We thought she was starting chemo tomorrow but she has just been told this first appointment will be about records, paperwork, discussing things, etc. The hospital didnt have her biopsy result last time, that should be there tomorrow.

Inside i'm half grieving already, i love my Mum so much and i cant imagine life without her, but i'm keeping my sadness well away from her. - In fact it's very hard to feel sad in her company, as she is SO extremely Positive!! (We both cried at the hospital when she was told, but within days her mindset was that of acceptance and positive forward thinking).

She says she feels lucky because so many people do not get a chance to get things straight or say goodbye to those they love, and i totally understand this, (the only experiences i've had are of people losing their lives very suddenly). Mum says she views it a wonderfully loving journey we are going to go through together, (i can think of more preferable trips!). I'm privately struggling with positivity, because i know i'm going to lose her :-( and this hurts so much! ..But i will be with her every step of the way,  and i want to be all that she needs me to be  through this.

Mum has not read anything about small cell lung cancer but i have. I wanted to know as much information possible to be mentally prepared, (as much as its possible to be), for what is to come, but it's all very clinical/statistical/cold factual, no personal experiences. This site is a blessing to find.

Is there anyone on here who is dealing with this same cancer?

I respect that my Mum has chosen not to seek out any details about this cancer, maybe i'd feel the same if it was my body, so i do not speak about what i've read.

Last weekend she said she feels that she has many years ahead of her, that she could even live until she's 80 ! / I admire her optimism but i did feel sad hearing her say this because i've read how fast spreading it is, but i put on a twinkly 'yes you probably will' type smile. This seemed better than to verbally agree or show i've read otherwise.  I pondered afterwards if this is the best way to deal with it; Is it ok for someone to be in denial?... and i decided Yes it is ok if they want it to be this way. Things will come with each step and she/we will handle them then. Maybe later she'll decide she does want to know more about it, in the meantime i'm guessing the medical people will make her aware of all she really needs to know...

Yesterday someone from the hospice rang and suggested she might want to go to view the inside of the building. This really shook her up a lot! She said afterwards 'Maybe they dont think I have as long as I think I have?'. (It was said more like a question to herself, i didnt feel i had to answer). I just said when she's ready to visit i can go with her if she wants me to, which she does).

Soon after diagnosis her symptoms increased, at night she didnt have enough breath to use the inhailer the doctor had given her and pain became unbareable in her shoulders and back. Luckily her next hospital appointment was the next morning (the one for ultrasound/biopsy/another CT etc) and she was able to get some painkillers.

She took the painkillers regularly for 4-5 days and now those pains have passed.

Last night i spoke with her on the phone and was so surprised by how clear her breathing was.

At times like this it's hard to believe what's going on, it just seems unreal!

This morning she said her eye felt strange, luckily again she had a GP appointment already booked or she might have shrugged this off for a while.

He sent her for an emergency check up at the hospital. They said it wasnt a bleed as the GP had feared, but she has a bad infection and they were taken aback by how many cells there were behind the eye. He wanted to discuss this with collegues and for her to return tomorrow, but she has the appointment elsewhere with the chemo people. They've given her some eye drops and wanted to give her steroids too, but she's already taking steriods since the cancer diagnosis. If poss she's going to return about her eye after the chemo appointment.

Does anyone know if lung cancer can bring about a cell build up behind the eye? (Maybe these things are linked?)

Sorry i've written so much in one go! I guess i needed to get it all off my chest right now. Emotionally the last 2 weeks have felt more like 2 years!

  • dstranathan - Thank you so much for your time. You and Penny seem such an outstanding couple! I wanted to read the news link you have on your page but it isnt working. I sincerely wish you both long continued success with your treatments! x

  • Thank you everyone who has taken time to read this thread.

    My Mum passed on March 29th.

    5 weeks 1 day after being diagnosed.

    It wasnt the cancer which took her in the end, it was an infection after chemo;  day one of chemo she was fine, day two onwards her health declined rapidly.

    Despite my deep sadness and longing I feel truely honoured to have been so close with my Mum all through.

    After her diagnosis my Mum said that this was going to be a wonderful journey we would go through together.  I could not grasp this at all!!

    However, we shared such a closeness and appreciated every moment we had together, and then, when the day came for her to pass, and she finally accepted that it was her time, my wonderful Mum passed with Joy!! - Absolute, Pure, Happiness!!

    What I witnessed that morning was the most touching and moving experience i have EVER had!  It will stay with me forever.

    ---

    RIP beautiful Mum. I love you forever xxx

  • rotodaddy - I read your message the day before my Mum passed. You are SO right to say be prepared,  the ending can come so much faster than we think it will. I fully appreciated your words that day, and now reading them again. Thank you so very much for sharing your experience with me, and others here, it really does help.

    I hope you are healing. x

  • Hi TwilightZone,

    I am so sorry to hear of your mums passing. It is always painful to see someone we love pass away as I know from the loss of my own mother seven years ago. I don't know if this will help you but every now and then I say or do things and afterwards I realize that is more or less exactly what my mother would have said or done. It feels as though she is still here guiding me through life. I do honestly believe that when we lose one of our parents, a part of then lives on inside of us for they have helped shape who we are, both by the guidance they have given us and also by the genes they have passed on to us.

    I hope this may be of some comfort to you. Thinking of you at this painful time, Brian

  • Hello TwilightZone,

    Thanks for taking the time to share the sad news with us. I am very sorry to hear your mum has passed away and wanted to send you and your family our sincere condolences.

    Warmest wishes,

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • I am so very sorry to her your Mom passed. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

    Don

  • Hi, just reading this is like you are living my life except 2 little differences the eye and mums 56. I do the same as you in front of her and I just can't control it. It's like a roller coaster. Thoughts with you. 

    Its hard to imagine someone else feeling the exact same.