Hi Jackie,

I am sorry to read about your husband being diagnosed with prostate cancer. I know this is a scary time until all the results have come in. But take heart from my own story. Two and a half years ago I was myself diagnosed with prostate cancer. My PSA was much higher at 70 and I had a gleeson score of 3+3=6. Luckily my MRI and CT scans showed the cancer had not spread outside of the prostate. As the PSA was so high I was not given a choice of treatment. I have had two years of hormone therapy and 37 radiotherapy treatments and for the last twelve months, my PSA has been the lowest they can measure. There are side effects from the hormone treatment but I consider it a small price to pay for the great result. My consultants were very good at explaining luckily.  If there are any questions you wish to ask, I will be pleased to try and answer them for you.

Please take care, sending best wishes, Brian

Hi Jackiec,

Just wanted to let you know you are not on your own and this is definately the place to rant and reel when you need to. I have recently been diagnosed with cancer myself and went through all the waitig over Xmas and New Year. I didn't tell my family until 1st January when I had the results of the MRI. I now go for surgery Thusday of this week. Hopefully if i am lucky that will be all the treatment I need.

The part of your message that really hit home with me is your husbands concern of his masculinity. This concern is real. I too being a woman have gone through this myself this week. My dear husband who has been keeping me positive and making me laugh was joking with me the other day but had me in tears. I had to ask myself what the hell is this about and of course it was about my feminity, as I am about to have a hysterectomy.. My son asked me last week how I felt about it and I said it wasn't a problem as I don't need it etc. However the identity of myself as a woman is lifelong and important. The same with your husband and especially with him being a WO1 etc a manly job and identity. So jackiec you have a wonderful position here to reassure your husband re his manliness as he will always be that to you. yes taking each day as it comes is how the journey is for all these families who have this to deal with. Can I just say that my husband and I have only been married 18 months and by golly I realise how lucky I am in my choice of husband. He has been and is playing the,

be positive partner, making me laugh telling and sending me (by email) jokes and just generally being there. This is hard work I am sure and for you it will be hard work. Listen to what your husband says but keep him hopeful and try and make things light sometimes.

I hope this helps a little. I know I will be up late tomorrow as I will be anxious before surgery on Thursday, so I'll probably be around till midnight if you want to let off steam .

Hugs and best wishes Annabel.

Hi Jackie, how are you doing today?? I hope you didn't think I was too strong in my last posting. I also hope you are not feeling too isolated.

Annabel.

Hi Jackiec

I know exactly how you feel because my husband has prostate cancer.  He had a PSA of 18.5 with Gleeson 4/5 = 9.  Unfortunately it is a very aggressive cancer and was not contained in the prostate when diagnosed.  An operation was out of the question, he has received radium treatment and is on the hormone implant.  We know the cancer cannot be cured but there are new drugs available and we are blessed that we have had 4 fabulous years since his diagnosis, we have done everything we always wanted to do.  Don't be too downhearted about the op I just wish that of my husband could have had the op and got rid of it.

Regards, Anne

Hi Jackie,

I'm sorry to hear about your husband and like so many on this site I can relate to how you are feeling. This time last year my husband was only waiting for a quadruple heart bypass, by May he was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer. His Gleeson score was 4+4=8, PSA 9.5 after both MRI and bone scan his final diagnosiswas T2N0M0, this means it was still contained within the prostate. (You will become very familiar with these terms in time). Due to his heart condition removal of the prostate wasn't an option so he has been on the hormone injections and awaiting radiotherapy since. This can only take place after the bypass, that was when the long hard wait started and the fear that although he had started the treatment would it stay contained while we waited.

The good news is he had the bypass 10 weeks ago and is due to start the treatment mid February. He has been absolutley marvellous throughout, both positive and upbeat, which I believe is the best therapy. Having said that for us wives watching our loved ones go through this, 3 am is a lonely time and that is what is so important about this site, there are so many lovely people here to give you both the support you need.

I'm sure given time your husband will come to understand that for us women the manly things are not what matters, but his laughter,love and companionship are the most important things in life.

You didn't say how old your children are? Ours are in their mid twenties with one living away. She was home with her boyfriend for a visit, before their father had his MRI and bone scan so we decided it was best to tell them together in person. It was very hard to do but they were glad we did so they could support him during this time, but only you as a family can make that decision.

My thought are with you x

Clare

Hi Clare,

Hope you don't mind me contacting you on someone else's thread. I am so glad your husband has at last had the heart by pass and will soon be starting Radiotherapy. I  was able to stay positive during my treatment and told everyone I was going to beat the cancer and as you can see from my earlier reply on this thread, my treatment was very successful. I did have some side effects both from the radiotherapy and from the hormone injections, but I look on them as a small price to pay for I'm still here and honestly believe the treatment has saved my life. I feel sure that your husband with his love of life and his love for you will sail through the radiotherapy. You have both had to wait so long for the heart by pass so I wish you both all the very best. If there are any questions you want to ask, I am no expert although I have read several books regarding prostate cancer as I believe in finding out as much about it as possible.

Please take care and sending best wishes to you and your husband, Brian

Thank you Brian for your kind works.

Clare

Hi Jackiec,  This is such a horrid time, the not knowing and waiting is really stressful.  Its such a steep learning curve, especially with prostate cancer.  So many different treatment options which depend on so many variables, including the health and age of the paitient.  I'm surprised the consultant went into so much detail if you are still waiting for results of scans.   No doubt to do with NHS funding and he has to get as much done in one appt as poss  - not much help to us on the receiveing end.

I assume that the levels they have given you  mean gleason score  3+4=7  same as my hubby at the biopsi stage.   After all the scans and tests to elliminante if it had spread outside the prostate, luckily it had not, he was given 3 treatment options   -   watch and wait, hubby did not consider this,  radiotheraphy, or radical prostectomy which is what he decided on.  His prostate was very enlarged and so he was not considered for robotic removal.

This was four years ago.  He did have problems for abouth 3 months after the op getting continence back but that side is fine now.  Other things have not returned but most of the treatments effects this side of things to some extent.  Others can help you more on this.  Not an easy thing for a man to deal with   -   or us wives!.

18 months ago I had a right mastectomy, so we laugh about the turn out sexual life has taken, sad but funny, the main thing is we are both still here to laugh, thankful that we were  both caught early.

Hopefully this will be the case with your husband, caught early and contained within the Prostate. His PSA (allthough above normal) is lowish, some men are in the hundreds when diagnosied. 

I hope the MRI results are good.  Things will seem a little better when you know what you are dealing with  and firmer options  are in place. Being in no-mans-land is so draining and the mind runs riot.   My hubbys cancer effected me more than my own.  Being normal for the kids is hard also, but proberly a good idea, as you say, untill things are clearer.   You don't say how old they are, our two are in their mid  20s, so a good support.

Lets us know how things are going for you, take care gardenlady.  (hope you can understand my bad spelling/typeing)

Hi Jackie .

How are you both I am thinking about your great lad any man who reaches his rank is very special they are the cream of our army I wish him well take care you both .

What regiment did he serve in they all have asn for ex members they may be of help .