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my husband has terminal cancer

fifi86
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Hi everyone,

This is my first time doing something like this but I feel like sharing feelings with people who are going through simular situations may help me.

My name is fiona and my husband has terminal cancer. His name is shaun and he is only 30years old. We first got told his cancer wad now terminal in may 2011. We now have a 6week old beautiful baby boy and my husband started his first iv chemo 2 weeks ago.

I wish I could make him better! I try not to think about the future, as it upsets me and I need to stay strong for him and our son, but sometimes I cant help it. Most of the time I try my dam hardest to soldier through, but there are times I sneek of to the bathroom for a little cry. I never let my husband see me upset as I feel I need to be the strong one. I know he listens to me alot when I talk to him about being strong and taking each day ad it comes and that he must stay positive. He always seems better after our talks, and carries on like you would never know he is ill. So if he saw me upset I feel he would get upset and worry even more. Its so hard to see him on bad days as hes always been a happy lively sole. I wish so badly for it to be a big mistake and the hospital got it all wrong. Hes my bestest friend and the most loving daddy!

If there's anyone going through a simular situation it would be lovely to talk to you as you would understand. It feels good getting this of my chest!

Fiona

  • Offline in reply to newcastle46

    Hi.total understand wat u going though my other half is terminal ill they gave him 3-6 mouth 3 years ago still with us he's on chemo at the min he says nasty 2 me sometimes but 2 every1 else nice 2 them people say they hurt the ones close 2 u and defo right don't take it 2 heart sure loves u very much xx

  • Offline in reply to sallyb54
    Hi, I've just read your post and it resonated with me. My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer which had metasised to his liver on 1st June 2016 (the day before our wedding). We were told that it was inoperable and incurable but he would be given the option of chemo. He had 5 cycles of however a recent scan revealed that the chemo hadn't worked and the tumours had increased in size. He was offered an alternative chemotherapy - Gemcitabine - and has had 3 treatments so far. He is extremely thin as he finds it very difficult to eat. He has some food, tends to be ice cream or sugary sweet desserts and he has two fortisip protein drinks each day. One of our daughters was sitting her A'levels at the time of diagnosis but she somehow passed them and is now studying at uni. We have 3 children - the girls are both 18 and our son is 23. I just wondered how your husband was doing and how you are too? I feel that we're possibly walking the same path! Gill x
  • Offline in reply to gildow

    Gildow., so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband was diagnosed on July 17th of this year with the exact same thing your husband was diagnosed with. He chose not to take any chemo. Radiation was not an option. I have been looking on here trying to find someone with the pancreatic and liver cancer. My husband has not lost any weight or lost his appetite.The only pain he has is in his neck and his knee that has arthritus in it. He is in denial so we don't talk about death. I have a large family and a great church family. So I have a good support system. It;s just I want to know what to exspect. We will keep you and your family in our prayers.

  • Offline in reply to sallyb54
    Hi my husband has terminal pancreatic cancer he is just 60 he had the whipple operation 2 years ago and the first year was tough , he couldn't eat much if he did he had diahorreah or was sick. One year round we were told the cancer was still present , another round of chemo was not really an option and we decided quality rather than quantity . My husband is so weak now and rarely goes out I work in a school as a teaching assistant and have reduced my hours but I still go to work trying to keep some normality in our lives . I get so upset and can burst into tears at the drop of a hat , people comforting me makes things worse . I wake every morning with him beside me wondering if today will be the day I lose him . My best friends husband died 2 years ago both my husband and her husband were diagnosed with pancreatic cancer within days of each other . I have held it together for so long we have 2 grown up sons a daughter in law and a grandaughter and grandson which helps . How do other people cope ?
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    My husband has secondary brain cancer and has been fine up until last Chemo session and a couple of days after the 3rd session changed from day to night. He can hardly walk doesn't get what he wants to say out and it's just so heart breaking. I try to stay strong for him but all he wants to do is lie in bed. He is being taken in to hospital today to access his medication and I am praying this is the problem and not the cancer. I know he would not want to be this way and it just breaks my heart.
  • Offline
    Hi, my husband has also been told he is terminally ill (although its not cancer) he has full intestinal failure and he suffers so much day in day out, hes only 34 and weve been married 6 years, we have 3 children ages 8,7 and 3 but this week we have just found out im pregnant! Alls i can think is what people will think of me bringing a baby into all this, i know this baby will be loved as much as our other 3 but its such a scary thought! I know its been a while since you posted how is your partner?? X
  • Offline in reply to honeypenney
    hi l have read your post and seems similar to mine, my husband has brain cancer grade 4 it is called a glioma, he has lost his cognitive memory this is terrible as he is a very intelligent man, lost peripheral vision so can only see forward. we have been told less than a year, this is our worst nightmare. how is your husband? hope you ok x
  • Offline in reply to JJs

    JJs

    This is truly a nightmare.  I must have posted some time ago, as next week it will be four years since my husband died -- and I miss him and there will never be another like him, but by now I can say I am no longer in a nightmare.  He would want me to be happy, and I try to be.  Hang in there and endure -- and remember that, once he's gone, you won't get to tell him nice things anymore -- I wish very much I had done it even more than I did there towards the end.

  • Offline
    Hi Fiona Xxx I'm new to this kind of chat line xxx like you my husband John has terminal cancer x yes it's so hard x my boys are a fair bit older than your little ones xxx but still big enough and daft enough to have a good cry xxx I still call them !!! One is Mummys liitle Soldier ( he's 31 ) the other is Mummys little chicken poop !! ( he's 29 ) I don't sneak to the bathroom anymore coz I would end up living there xx!!! I wait till they are sleeping then cry ....that's what us mum's / wives do xxx we have 2 more chemo sessions !!! Last one due Christmas day !!!! But having 2 days earlier x this is johns 3rd lot x not sure about plan b xxx we don't have one ! X John is no different now than 4 years ago in himself x busy busy busy xxx doesn't stop x our eldest son is getting married in February so hoping John is going to have a good day xxx don't be afraid to cry x I don't anymore I just let rip when I need to especially to my brother's and sister x but more difficult for you because you have little ones x if ever you need a personal chat just message me x we can cry and blubber together xx Xxx big hugs xxx Sandi
  • Offline

    Hi Fiona 

    I can relate to what you are going through. I feel exactly the same as you l sneak of to cry as well and have to be strong for my partner and child as to not upset them.  Some days it is a real struggle to keep going and watch your partner feel sick and ill.l do have family tasking  how he is but feel they do not truly understand .You are doing a amazing job and it has helped me to know there is someone feeling the way l do 

    Jackie 

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