Hi Laura,

I'm so pleased to hear that you are on your last week - it will soon pass and then you can concentrate on getting better rather then on getting worse.  I spent a good deal of my treatment time and the weeks that followed curled up under a duvet - why not - someone has to take care of you and who better then yourself.

I think people don't really believe the extent to which we can be burnt and still carry on looking relatively normal - they don't lke to think about it in case it happens to them I guess and it makes them rather dismissive.

In my case they told me at the end of treatment that the burns would probably get worse the following 2 weeks.  OMG!!  I couldn't imagine it - my worse burns were across and inside my labia - one side of which was swollen probably to about 4 times it's normal size.  It was mostly because of the swelling rather then the burns that I couldn't sit or walk.  But here's the good news - they were wrong.  The burns did not get worse.  They did not get better either for the next couple of weeks but stayed about the same.  Then they started to heal and when they healed, they healed quickly probably 4-5 weeks after treatment I had new (and unpainful) baby skin.  The swelling however took a very long time to subside - medical staff told me they had never seen such swelling and did not know if it would ever go down.  I'd say it had returned to more or less normal size after about 18 months but it wasn't particularly uncomfortable after about 6 months.  If you are not swollen already please don't worry about this Laura - I think it's unusual - it depends on which way the rays are being targeted at your tumour(s).

For creams I used buttercream (bought off the internet) and aqua vera cream - both soothing.  I was prescribed Flammazine which I've heard people swear by but apparently it inhibits healing by reducing the white blood counts and so you are only supposed to use it once a day.  I also bought a cream off the internet from Canada but it took a couple of weeks to arrive so it may be a bit late for your to order now.  I didn't use soap to wash the area but used the aqueous cream which the oncologist suggested.  But the best remedy of all I found were luke warm baths.  Just soaking in them for as long as possible was about as healing as anything else.  (Some people use Epsom salts in the bath but beware I found they stung like nettles).

I was also on the liquid morphine and codeine but I came off them very quickly after treatment because they were zonking me out and I didn't want to become an addict on top of everything else.  After I came off the painkillers the real long term side effects of bowel damage kicked in - diarrohoe.   I'm guessing this will happen to you as I have never heard of anyone having radiotherapy to the pelvic area without it.  I thought it would go of it's own accord and it's true it got better but never to the extent where I could go out feeling comfortable that I would not have an "accident".  Advice about diet did not work.  What works is Lopermide hydrochloride (the moderators will not let me give you the brand name but you can find it on any supermarket shelf as diarrohea relieft).  I resisted taking this for about 6 months and I wish I hadn't because it gave me back a normal life - I still have to take one every day and I am now almost 2 years post treatment. Oh and my new best friend was my portable bidet (bought off the interent for £10).

Laura, I hope I haven't frightened you with any of this and that some of it, at least will be useful.  Good luck for your final week.  I know how difficult it is to motivate yourself when you are in pain, knowing that the treatment is making it worse.  I got through it with the knowledge that others who had been there before me were healed and now living normal lives.  If it helps just think of this - I can now ride a bike again!! And so will you. Hooray.

Hugs and good luck.

Jan xx