Hi Jules,

Sorry it's been a while. Hope you're all doing well?

How did the appointment at the docs go, was it as scary as you expected? Did it enlighten you as to your hubbys thoughts? How is he doing on the new liquid? Better for him?

Yeah I'm the same with nails, I've only had them done a couple of times as a treat, because as you say, they're too expensive to keep up with. Some of my friends have them done fortnightly or whatever without fail, but I just think there's always something more important to spend that money on lol maybe if I win the lottery it'd become a regular thing but I'm still waiting for that to happen :/

How's things going with your mum, moving along ok? How's she doing, much the same? Hope she's ok.

Well, no signs of redundancy as yet despite all the news about Tesco at the moment haha ah well I can live in hope

We're just 'resetting' the store at the moment, which consists of us doing overnight shifts to get all the shelves clean, walls painted, walls and everything debunked. I'm doing my second one tonight and that's my bit done for it all. It's amazing how long it actually takes to remove the stock clean the shelves and put it all back! Makes the night pass v quick though so it's ok.

On my end we've had some good news that Jamie's mum has passed all tests and seems to be in the clear now and will need six monthly checks, so that's great.

My mum's currently in Birmingham hospital, she got the phone call last week and went in on Friday, for a number of tests and scans, they've discovered she has gall stones bless her but don't know how bad as yet, hopefully dissolvable ones (if you can do that with them stones?) She's going to be in over the weekend too, they're being very thorough in it all so that's promising. Hopefully she'll be able to have the op and be recovered soon.....I'm taking her to see Lionel Ritchie in March so she needs to be well for that

Jamie has been having a bit of trouble though, he's been having like heart palpitations, and they've been making him v tired. He also had a water infection. He went and registered with my doc (he hasn't been to docs in over 9 years since before me bought this house) so I know he was fed up. Anyway he got the antibiotics and that cleared up. But the doc said his resting heartbeat was a bit fast and asked if he takes or taken drugs or exercised before he went, which he hadn't (never touched drugs in his life) so doc said he would write to hospital and recommend he wears one of those belt things over his heart for a day to monitor it and see what's going on, so he's got appointment for that on 18th December. But he also had some blood tests and they came back saying his cholesterol was a bit high and that it showed signs of liver damage (he's not a drinker either) , so they sent him to have some more but a fasting one as the doc says the cholesterol could've been caused by something he'd eaten, so he did that and called the docs on Monday who says the cholesterol had come down but only a tiny amount and so he booked to see the nurse about nutrition, but he had a call from docs this morning because the doc had looked at his results and said the liver readings were slightly worse than the previous one (which was the week before) so he now has an appointment letter coming to go to the hospital for a liver test :/ so obviously we're a bit on edge about that at the moment. He doesn't really say much (a man thing eh?!) But I know he's worrying so I'm just trying to keep spirits up at the min

On a good note, we're off to Blackpool at the weekend and staying in a hotel (we've always stayed at mum's but my sis is staying there at the min so no room) so that'll be exciting for Charlie and we'll be driving through the lights too he's looking forward to it

And me and Charlie are just chipper in fact I went in and did some cooking with him and his classmates on Friday, it was really fun, we made a scrambled snake spaghetti, I'm going again in December to help make buns for the Xmas fayre, and I volunteered to help wrap presents too I love helping out where I can

Anyway after the war and peace above I'll get off and speak to you again soon, hope you're ok and still smiling

big hugs Terri xx

Hi Terri

Nice to hear from you and sounds like you are being kept busy both on work and family fronts.  Not sure where the time is going but we are now stocked (initially) for Christmas at work and all necessary moves completed (no overnight work this year as staffing levels just cannot accommodate it) so the management and youngsters did some evenings to achieve it.  Have already seen a rise in footfall and thankfully I too have got my gift shopping started.  Hate doing it in December.

Glad that your Mum is getting treatment and hopefully will be far more comfortable once she is able to get home. If she needs an op (not too sure about dispersal of gall stones) lets hope she does not have to wait too long as I am sure she will want to be back home and on her feet sooner rather than later - especially with Lionel Ritchie to look forward to.  alos good news about your Mother in Law.

Am sure you must be concerned regarding Jamie's health problems but hope investigations can throw some light on it and get it sorted soon.  Water infections can be b...... painful and also tiring (had my fair share in the past!) but the 'strange' liver readings  need sorting.  Will keep my fingers crossed that all will be well soon.  I also had the cholesterol problem and was amazed that with a change in my diet it came down a whole two points (have not been so good the last couple of months so need to get back to healthy eating (trouble is when hubby does not eat the 'snacks' I get to boost his weight I do not like to see food wasted.  I am supposed to be due a re-check for cholesterol soon but hope to put it off till the New Year (give me a chance to clean up my act).  My Dad had high cholesterol and did not know until they tested him after his heart attack (he was 71) - he was fine once he  got his diet sorted and I hope to manage without tablets to correct it if I can.  Stress does not help either and even when we believe we are 'not stressed' think we still live in a stressful world these days.

Enjoy your weekend in Blackpool and I am sure Charlie will be mesmorised by the lights.  I went there over 35 years ago (we were on a darts weekend!!) and am sure its bigger and better still now (was pretty amazing then).  Still remember the little B&B we stayed at (our room had the fire exit in it and often wonder what would have happened if the alarm had gone off!!).  Our daughter and family are off to Dorset for this weekend as our son in law's gran is being given a surprise weekend away with the family for her 80th - they have hired two caravans (there are about 16 of them going I think).  We will be doing the usual (well at least I will be shopping, cleaning etc and hubby will be sitting watching).  We continue to trundle along coping day to day though his GP is not happy with the fact that he appears not to want to make the most of the current quality of life he could be enjoying.  She called me in to see if I could help to encourage him and believe me I have really tried but he 'is not for turning'.  He would appear to be suffering more mentally than physically but will not open up and discuss it so is sleeping more and rarely goes out, though I am still managing to get him to go out with his friend on  a Friday. I wish I could make him feel differently but having a Mum with depression I know it has to come from within and sadly I am not sure he knows the 'way out'.  He is on low dose anti depressants but the doctor is reluctant to increase the dosage  alongside everything else he has to take for his cancer.  She suggested we get away for the weekend but if he finds it hard enough to find the energy (still not eating drinking enough) to walk in the garden I am afraid it would not be possible.  He has switched to liquid morphine (same dosage as before as pain still under control) but he still has the vivid dreams (sometimes talks more in his sleep than when he is awake); its the one comforting thought that he has no bad pain.

Well on a more positive note Zack celebrated his 1st birthday this week and is growing up so quickly.  He has an infectious smile and very placid nature and is now crawling at speed after anything that moves!!  He and his brother are now in bunk beds  and the little one likes nothing better than to put away the toys that the elder one gets out - all great fun!  The elder grandson will be 6 in November and is going bowling with a couple of his mates.  They took him to see a local theatre performance of Seussical a couple of weeks ago and he absolutely loved it so I bought him  Cat in the Hat book and he read it to me!!!  He also reads to Zack which is so cute.

Well hubby is trying to get himself together - says he is going down to the local shops (5mins away) and I have not offered to go for him (new tactics) so will see what happens. Its pretty hard to watch him struggling with the mental side of things, just like my Mum but just another side of the cancer journey.

Sorry for the ramble and hope everything is okay with you (there is so much going on round you do not forget to look after  yourself).   Sending hugs. Jules x

Hi Terri

First and foremost good on you for finally chatting to your doctor about your feelings. Its never too late to be open and frank and I know how difficult it can  be to talk about it (with Mum and now hubby on anti depressants I have seen first hand some of the benefits).  Will keep everything crossed for you. There has been so much going on for you and the family and the underlying worries that go with them I hope the medication can help.

Sorry to hear that Mum faces  more procedures but hopefully this will result in her feeling much more like her old self afterwards.  I am sure she was happy to get back home after such a lengthy stay in hospital and let me know how appointment with her consultant goes - hopefully she will not have to wait too long but can understand her not wanting to begin anything before Christmas.

Sounds like they are giving Jamie a good look over too and no doubt once all the tests are done he will find out if he needs any treatment for the liver/palpatations.  My Mum used to have palpatations as part of her panic attacks and it was finally remedied with medication.  These are all worries that must be causing some anxiety for you both but you will get there (by the way you can chat to me anytime and if they ever get private messaging back up and running you are welcome to use that route if you would prefer) - its just sometimes easier talking to 'strangers'.

I am being kept an eye on by hubby's GP who now likes to see us together when he has his appointments and she is also trying to encourage him to be more open but so far its been without success.  The medication means he is sleeping a great deal and he lacks energy or interest in anything other than watching the tv repeats.   Its so hard for him to be inactive after years of a very physical job and he has more or less withdrawn into himself more and more as he continues his daily battle with the disease.  We have palliative care consultant's check up on Tuesday (he hates going because he hates to talk about how he feels and its always very emotional).  Unfortunately there is little I can say/do that helps but am supporting him in the best way I know how.  He is currently having nurse in to dress a small ulcer that has developed on his coccyx and this is causing him more discomfort.

I have good and bad days 'in the coping zone' but am very lucky to have the brilliant support of our kids when needs be, the grandchildren to keep me smiling, my Friday night pal (we have known each other for years and she also worked for The Samaritans for over 25yrs so has plenty of practice in 'being there'  at any time).

Was sorry you have been 'dumped' into another store, especially now when you need support. Hope its not too far from home and I bet you were sent there because you are good at what you do and they would like  you to 'sort them out'.  Hate it when the personal lives of other staff 'attachments' cause bad feeling - bet you can cut the atmosphere with a knife!  When you are feeling more yourself maybe you can decide what you would really prefer to do and it will give you something to aim for. (Sorry now I am rambling - hubby still in bed and conversation in short supply which is difficult for a 'gasbag'.)

My in-laws are getting closer to their move to Isle of Man with contracts signed on sale of one property and also the one to be purchased.  Still no moving date but am seeing sister in law next weekend when having a family lunch here with us (safety in numbers!) and our kids/families, so perhaps will learn more then as its all she can talk about now she is retired.  I know its an exiting new start for them in their latter years but also know that its hit my hubby hard knowing that once they go its unlikely he will get to see them  but we just have to get on with things and we are looking foward to spending Christmas with our son this year. 

How is Charlie getting along; great I bet and full of energy!  Zack turned one last month and is speed crawling and walking round the furniture and has also just got his first two teeth.  His older brother (6 in two weeks) has just had a great school report for Maths, Science and English so we are all very proud of him (bought him a little lego gift as a reward!).  They visited yesterday morning whilst their Dad was working and  I spent some time in a 'makeshift tent' in the lounge playing connect 4!! Happy times.

Well, I had best stop now or you will be falling asleep reading lol. Hope you will keep smiling through and the forum (and me) are here to listen when you need to offload.  Take good care.Hugs  Jules x

hi jules,

hope you are all well, everyone is fine over this end. jamie was given some beta bkockers and statins from the doc. he says he still has the palpitations but theyre subdued so thats good. hes also got his app at hospital with the doc for the results of the ecg on thurs, so we'll see what happens then. mum hasn't heard anything else about her op, so no doubt it'll be after xmas now. new store ok. that manager been sent to another store cos someone called the protector line and told on them, said she was being treat favourably, so ive had to deal with the backlash (basically told them to get on with it lol) so my tablet is playing up again so i'll say see ya, up here! hope you all have a great christmas, sendung lots of love and hugs xx

hows the hubby, the ulcer on his coccyx improved at all?  hope hes doing ok.

and your mum? is she rallying round a bit for christmas? hope so.

how is everything at your end? you all ready for christmas yet? 

Hi terri

So pleased to read that Jamie's new medication is helping. Hope appointment on Thursday goes well.

Bet Charlie is getting excited about the 'man in red'. Our eldest grandson has an 'elf' in residence keeping an eye on him to make sure he is being a good boy.  Both boys were taken to see F.C. last weekend and  the request for a 'metal detector' raised a few eyebrows!! but am sure he was listening closely. I have all my wrapping done and dusted and all cards sent so feel more relaxed about it all.  All things being well we are spending several days at our son's so I am due a pretty good rest lol.

Hubby is frail and weightloss continues as he cannot manage much eating.  Had nurses in today and have had a lesson in dressing ulcer on his coccyx so can do the necessary when we are away.  No worse thankfully but still uncomfortable for him to sit for very long so spends more time horizontal. His medical team have suggested (several times) hospital bed/mattress for downstairs but he does not want this yet and no one is going to talk him into it before he is ready. Much a case of day by day but his determination is a credit to him.  He has GP appointment on Thursday afternoon so will get latest results on his blood tests and see if a transfusion will be necessary prior to Christmas and the nurses come in twice a week. 

I am currently still managing my part time work though they are aware that could change any time and have told me not to worry - easier said than done but they, along with our kids, continue to be a great comfort and support. 

Mum has always disliked Christmas and this year is no different but visited today along with daughter and Zack and keep her in touch with all that is going on (one way conversation bless her but she nods in all the right places and with still  no contact  from Social Services looks as though a new battle with them will commence after the festive season as she will not be able to self fund beyond the early NewYear).

Hope you and all the family enjoy Christmas and expect your Mum will feel more relaxed if she can enjoy Christmas and then concentrate on her forthcoming treatment.    Glad the new store is not too bad  and good that Manager has been moved (the backlash may be a pain in the ..... but hopefully the atmosphere will be less pressurized and in time a better working environment for all).

Take care of yourself and sending hugs and all the best for Christmas and 2015.  Jules x

Hi Terrie,

I am so sorry to have to tell you Jules lost her hubby last night after he went downhill quite rapidly. I learnt the news from her thread, "Continuing the journey".. Such a pity that another lovely ladt is facing a loss due to this evil disease.

Kind regards Brian.