hi jules,

yeah work is the same for us, we have a 'january clean up' going on, basically a list of jobs to do that you should have done or be doing already (teaching us to suck eggs lol) and yeah the same for us, full store audit :\

yeah jamies stepdad is doing ok, can't have been too bad as he went to the pub when he got home! think he likes to save face if i'm honest, he doesn't really like fuss and bother and so i think he'd still go even if we had to wheel him round in his bed ha

my mum was ok, to a degree, she looks to have lost more weight but i didn't press her too much as she hadn't eaten for four days and felt overfaced with even a slice of toast. she had a fall last week in the night in the bathroom, said she didnt hurt herself too much and i couldnt see any bruising, but she said shes really fed up now and had a little cry on the phone to me on saturday too, felt really bad for her, wish i could just see her every day if just to give her a cuddle cos thats what she said she couldve done with but work and money play a big part in that unfortunately, and no i didnt get to see the doc unfortunately. in fact there were only three nurses looking after 32 people and it took an hour to get someone to do suction on her trachy while i was there, and she ended up being sick because of that too. shes been ok for the last few days since i saw her though, and been eating better too which is good. she was due to go for yet another bronchoscopy today and they're going to have a meeting to discuss what to do going forward. about time too, she cant live like this its horrible for her. so we'll have to see what gets said next.

your husband sounds a bit like jamies stepdad, because he wont tell his mum how hes feeling etc, just says everything is ok, but he must be feeling rough with all the treatment im sure! hope he's a bit better and getting rid of the cough/cold some more. 

ps hope youre ok too?!

speak soon keep smiling, Terri.

ps can you tell i'm using my tablet ha

morning terri

Thanks for update and do hope the latest bronchoscopy can shed some light on your Mum's condition and a better way forward for her.  She and the family must be so frustrated and worried that it is dragging on for so long without seemingy much improvement.  I can certainly understand her feeling about food.  Must be hard to motivate yourself when you are unable to see an end to being in hospital and really unsure of what is going on.  My thoughts are with you and the family and will hope you get more reassuring news soon.  Never easy when you are far away and trying to juggle work,familly, visiting and finances.

Even though I am only  a half hour walk from my Mum's care home I only go weekly as with her own way of thinking (disinterested in life basically) and with hubby's cancer incurable I am torn but know realistically that my place should be with  my other half first and foremost (though thankfully at present he is managing physically he is battling with the low mood caused by not being in work and I think the not knowing how long he may have (even though he wanted to know right from the start of his journey what the odds were)  must be devastating.  Though he has never been a great conversationalist when I am home the silences are pretty long but not awkward but like your Mum he has no motivation to do anything and spends his days between dozing and watching tv and when it comes to meal times I really dont think he would bother much but makes an effort for my sake.  Over the past few days he has begun eating a bit better and I think this is because he has his 3mth check up next Tuesday and knows he will be weighed so the snack inbetween meals have been increased.  The nearer the appointment gets the apprehensiveness increases for us both (not that he says so) as this is when I usually find out how he feels and he has his emotional release (within the safety of the consultant's office).  His GP has arranged a chanage in his medication for he had been having a little breakthrough discomfort so it will  be interesting to hear their take on this new regime or whether they have something else up their sleeve.  All being well a few days later we are spending the weekend away with friends in Bournemouth to attend a social event and I am really  finding myself looking forward to this change of scene (and being waited on for a change).

Hope jamie's stepdad continues to be able to cope with his treatment with a favourable outcome and good on him getting out to the pub (my hubby goes most Fridays when I am out too with his best mate's wife) as I am sure this helps to keep life ticking over.

Take care and hugs to you and the family, chat again soon.  Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Hope the appointment tomorrow goes well and brings reassurance to you both and hope the new meds help with the pain. And Bournemouth sounds good, and I'm sure you will enjoying being waited on a lot, its always nice to be waited on!

We've just booked Jamie's shark dive in for the 28th march, its at the blue planet aquarium in Cheshire, so we're hoping to spend a couple of days there too. So that's something to look forward to!

I've managed to arrange to speak to my mums doctor, I've to bleep him on Friday when I go and he's going to come and see me. Because my mum told me on thurs that she's having her antibiotics put on a drip for 5 weeks and after that she might be going to Liverpool with a view to removing her lung, and that she might not make it (she weighs about six stone now) but she's not sure why or anything around it, hasn't had any news back from the ct scan before Christmas, heard nothing about bronchoscopies so I'm going to ask him for answers, I need to know what's going on, for myself but also for my mum, if its true and we have the potential to lose her in a few weeks then I want to know why and what's been going on upto now and what they've tried etc

Jamie's stepdad is in a lot of pain this week and even told Jamie's mum, so he must be feeling it! All his skin is bright red and blistered around his neck and its the same on the inside. Only four more to go after today, thank goodness.

So apart from your mum not being bothered about much in general, is she still ok though? Plodding on? And again, how are you?! You didn't say, hope you're doing ok and still smiling

Speak soon, take care, hugs to you and yours too Terri x

Hi terri

Really hope the docs can let you know what is happening with your Mum and that they can offer to treat the problem sooner rather than latter - it must be quite a worry as its being going on for a while now and  its not easy dealing with things long distance. Bless her it must be hard to take it all in and remember what shes been told in order to let you and the family know too.  Answers are definitely needed so you and she know what you are facing.  My thoughts are with you.

Jamie's stepdad  sounds like he is going through the mill with treatment now (sometimes worse than the cancer itself at the time but hopefully with a good end result).

Have to say don't envy Jamies''sharking exploits' though my hubby thought about it a couple of times as he used to go scuba diving few years back(my son and his girlfriend still belong to a scuba club and try and go when time/money allows). Hope he really enjoys it and am sure Charlie will love watching 'daddy with the big fish'.

Right appointment went not too bad.  Hubby's pain (he explained to consultant) is not related to cancer site but is like backache and comes and goes.  Consultant spent almost an hour going through things with him (me with my big ears listening in!!) and she has now arranged for a liquid painkiller which can be taken as and when necessary as a top up, to see if this helps.  She also gave her blessing to going away and hubby seems more relaxed about the trip now the appointment is done and dusted (me too).  She is faxing his GP to get the prescriptions updated and through to us before we go away just in case he needs it then (she also said he can still have occasional drink whilst taking it).  His general health still not to bad though she thought he looked a bit pale and he has had more blood tests today so that can keep an eye on how medication is affecting him - itmay be that one of the tablets could be changed depending on results.  She has also offered him steroids to see if this will improve his appetite (just a weeks course) but  has left it up to him as to if he wanted to try them (crafty move as he wont feel forced into it).

Thanks for asking after me; have more or less recovered from my fall down the stairs (bruise on shin  now dull yellow - thankfully wearing long dress for do on Saturday night!!!) but was surprised at how vulnerable it left me for a while.  Other than that am plodding along day to day and feel better for knowing how hubby is really feeling (just a shame that I  have to wait till we are in the consultants room to learn all about it Men!!!).  Visited myMum today too and she is much the same - just waiting to 'move on' as she puts it.  Staff are wonderful and encourage her daily to join in with activitities but it rarely leads to any participation. I chatted (to myself mainly) for almost an hour and then she was off into lunch with a half wave.

How are you getting on with work/life balance - not easy especially with a toddler.  Hope you finding some time for yourself -  something hard to find at the best of times.  Do come and chat once you know whats happening with your Mum and sending hugs to you both.Take care.Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Guess what........mums home! She's still frail and has her drain in but she's doing good, rating what she fancies, in small portions of course but still, should do her good! Yeah she went to Liverpool last tues and had an xray and then spoke to a professor there, who told her he didn't know why it had taken them so long and that he was going to take her off most of her tablets and put her on a couple of new ones and that she should be fully recovered in 6-9 months. He said there s a hole where her lung should be, so we don't know if its just shrunk and still there but very small or disintegrated or what, but she doesn't need to go and have it out apparently, so that's another relief. Quite a turnaround eh?!

Charlie was ill all last week, full of cold and had a bad cough, caught it from his daddy who got it from me and now they're clear I have it again! I can't taste anything, but that could be a good thing, cos I'm less inclined to eat chocolate or anything much really, so should be good at the scales at fat club this week haha

I hope you had a fab night on sat in your dress and I can't believe you still have a bruise, even faded, its taken a while, must have been a right one, no wonder you felt vulnerable afterwards! Hope you're 100% yourself now though

I bet you're looking forward to going away even more now that your hubby has had the wink to go ahead

And yeah I'm hoping Charlie enjoys watching his daddy with the big fish and doesn't get scared instead! Time will tell, but I'm sure he'll be fine as you say

Jamie's stepdad is done now, he is sooooo relieved, his neck and throat are blistered but he managed to hold out, all for the greater good!

Sounds like your mum is content enough with how she's plodding on, at least she's not miserable or upset and in turn upsetting you when you visit, I can only imagine how hard it is walking away from her each time you visit, its been hard enough leaving my mum at the hospital,so at least it probably makes it a bit easier for you that way?

.

And thanks for asking, I'm doing ok, managing as you do. I went for tea with a few of my girlfriends on weds after fat club (treat night haha) and that was nice having a catch up and a good laugh, was a nice tonic

Anyway hope you're all still good, and keeping smiling

Speak Doon, take care Terri xx

Hi terri

Just lovely to read your news about Mum. The whole family must be absolutely delighted in the amazing turnaround  and hope that being home will soon have her strength returning day by day (taking it easy at the same time of course).  Good news on jamie's stepdad too and hope his recovery continues apace.  He must be so relieved to see the end of his treatment and hope the blistering will soon subside and the the outcome is what everyone wants.

Sounds like the whole family has been hit  by the cold bug and do hope you are all feeling better soon as it can really drag you down when its back to back.  My daughter and baby Zack are in the same boat at present which is causing lack of sleep!! (and just when he was beginning to sleep through several nights in a row) and she has now had notification from the school that there is scarlet fever case in her elder boy's class so having to keep a watch just in case.  Still just over a week to go until half term so expect we will see a bit more of them all then (daughter's birthday on Valentines Day and we are having family to dinner the day after(. This weekend having our son and other half to dinner so will be good to catch up though am wondering what to do for dessert as she is lactose intolerant - will have a look at the supermarket as they do a range which covers this area and maybe that can give me a few hints!!)  As long as my son has cheese and biscuits he will be happy - easily pleased!!!! 

We really enjoyed our weekend away and managed to dodge a couple of showers on the Saturday (drove down in sheeting rain on the Friday but still managed the journey in around 2hrs - had a short coffee stop for hubby to have a break).  to stroll round the Winter Gardens and watch some mad souls kayaking and surfing the waves. Both Friday and Saturday nights were lovely social affairs with four course meals and either disco (Friday till 12 am) live music (Saturday till 1 am) and though hubby did not dance (never was one for it pre illness eitherr!) he was not the only one by a long way so as usual the women took to the floor (left handbags on the table though) so got my fair share of exercise!!  Gave healthy eating a rest for three days and all in all made the most of our mini holiday.

Go back to work tomorrow so have caught up with all the washing/ironing yesterday and today will do my weekly visit to see Mum and at least will have something to talk about and a few pictures to show her on my camera.  Tomorrow I do battle getting to work as tubes are on strike so will have longer walk and then bus in (will have to leave home about half hour earlier and with rotten weather supposed to be closing in again for winds and rain (when is Spring again?) think it will be a good idea to take a change of uniform with me!!!

Well, terri hope you and Charlie will be feeling better soon and I am trying to follow the keep smiling recommendation (causes some amusement with customers I can tell you!!) and look forward to our next chat.  Look afteryourself . Hugs  Jules xx

Hey Jules,

Thanks for the well wishes, everything (fingers crossed) is looking up at the moment! Mum went for an app at the hospital yesterday and they are happy with how she's doing, she's putting weight on (only a small amount but better than losing) she's getting better at walking, building her strength up slowly and she's much happier. Unless she gets a letter before (which I'm sure she will) her next app is in Liverpool on 25th march, I'm going to go and take her.

Me and Charlie had a mantoux test yesterday (tb test) we have to go back on thurs for results. I hate needles but I was very brave haha Charlie cried for a minute but he was ok then, think it was because he was watching it, he just wouldn't be distracted (for a change!) The nurse says if he shows no signs of having caught any tb germs then they will offer him the tb bcg, they only offer it with him being within contact, or I can wait until he's in school as usual, but I said he might as well and then its done, although I'm not looking forward to it, think I'll be fetching daddy for that one!

Everyone else is good

Aww hope the little one doesn't get the scarlet fever, you know how you feel yourself with a sore throat etc, hate to see little ones suffer.

Did you manage to find dessert for your sons girlfriend? I'm sure she'll have been happy that you'd made the effort in the first place because some people don't

Oh it sounds like you had a lovely weekend, jamie isn't a dancer either so I'm much the same as you, dancing with the other wives haha did your hubby enjoy it as much as you sound to have?

I hope it made good conversation with your mum and she enjoyed seeing the pics

I bet it was a chore going back to work too wasn't it, I hate it after two days off together (if I'm lucky that is but after a trip its even worse haha) I'm working 6 days this week too, because there are to many people on hols and a team leader put in a sick note for 2 weeks, I won't get paid I'll just get another day back sometime when there's enough people. Yippee haha

I'm glad you've had a great weekend, I'm sure its been a real tonic for you

Anyway I'll speak to you soon, take care and keep smiling

Terri xx 

Hi terri

It was lovely to read the good news surrounding your Mum and hope its onwards and upwards from now on.  Gaining weight slowly is good too as I am sure it will take a little time for her to feel able to eat larger amounts and it must be a great relief all round.

So far so good as far as our grandson is concerned - no more cases of scarlet fever so far and he has been enjoying having friends in to play after school.  Baby Zack has a new name - chubster - heath visitors delighted with him though (he now weighs over 17lb at four months!!). No sure where the time has gone (think as I get older the time is passing quicker).  Daughter and family all coming to us this Saturday so am entertaining and makind dinner again - should live hubby's spirits as its hard to be miserable when the kiddies are around.

We had a nice evening with our son and his other half.  Dessert was solved after I contacted her and she told me that she is slowly re-introducing some dairy into her diet (her lactose intolerance comes and goes and is usually linked to periods of stress) and then told me to save me a bit of time (bless her) she would make a dessert and bring it with them which left me to sort cheese and biscuits - how easy was that.  She arrived having made a beautiful blueberry cheesecake which melted in the mouth. They also brought a bottle of wine which we polished off (I dont drink often at home so this made a lovely change).  It was lovely catching up with them as we had not seen them since Christmas Day.

Well, I am still enjoying the memories of our weekend away and have lovely photo of hubby and I to prove it!!  He has told friends that he enjoyed it too but it left him feeling a little frustrated at being limited in what he could do. My friend reminded him she was delighted he was able to come at all and I think that gave him something to think on!!  Mum was having a good day when I went to see her and did enjoy the pics.  Just as well I took them last week as this week she had 'switched off again'.

  Since we returned he has gone back to just sitting in the chair all day (even though he has admitted to being bored) so it seems as though we are going to have to think of things to get him out as he is still able to look after himself, walk slowly and drive. Amazingly its two years since his diagnosis and his medication seems to be keeping pain at bay with an occasional top up (10mg of morphine tablet) - he has only used 3 tablets in two weeks which I see as a plus.

Like you work is busy and I seem to spend my time moving books from one end of the stock area to another (keeping me fit I reckon!!) and now following on from our audit we are getting bigger deliveries in and sending quite a bit away (always amazing at how much 'loss' there is).

Hope the weather has not been too bad where you are.  I feel so sorry for those in the flooded areas.  Have to say I am fed up with getting soaked to the skin on my way home from work but suspect I am in for more of the same tomorrow when I have to go the launderett (still no sign of getting a new machine but it does get me out of the house on  my day off).

Hope all stays well for you and the family and will chat again soon. Now off to prepare evening meal.  Take care. Jules xx