Hi terri

Great news about your Mum and bet she was delighted to trick her own children. Road to recovery well and truly up and running which must be a great feeling for all the family.  Amazing what they achieve these days in the medical world.

Do hope that Jamie's stepdad will continue to make some improvement - must have been quite a shock for everyone but its very hard to get some people to go to the doctor!!  My hubby's had no choice in the end (wa y back in October 2011!!) as his boss was so worried about him he arranged private work medical and the rest is history as they say!!

We are going through a new period of adjustment as hubby was finally given early retirement last Tuesday and of course he is devasted that his worklife is finally over.  He had to admit though that the long drive to the workplace was taking its toll and also the company is not so busy at present so all bar one of the staff are on 3 day week.  Can you believe it he delayed telling me for three days as he felt I had enough going on with Mum (I have had to remind him that he would always be my No 1 priority but his caring nature and consideration for others was something that drew me to him many moons ago).  So now he has to re-think how can spend his time (bearing in mind he has limited physical ability as even walking short distances leaves him breathless).  We have at present become the 'laptop kids' each playing games to relax - sad eh!!

Mum had told Social Services that she would rather use up all her own money whilst she has it to stay where she is comfortable than accept their offer of unfurnished sheltered housing!!  So they have been told to back off and leave her alone!!  She has said that even if I had tried to persuade her to move (I only talked about options!!) she was entitled to make her own mind up - seems to have found her 'fighting talk' and for the first time in ages when I visited I had a few smiles and no tears - the relief is palpable. and although I know we may have to go down the same road in around a year at least she is happy with her decision for now.

My daugthter in within 2 weeks of her due date and blooming. She spent the morning/early afternoon with us today and our grandson helped Grandad do the weekly shop whilst we caught up on some gossip and discussing contingency plans for when she goes into labour.

We enough of my chatting.  Do hope you have a peaceful weekend and the news for Jamie's stepdad is improving.  Dont work too hard.  Chat again soon Jules xx

hey jules,

jamies stepdad doing well, no certain diagnosis as yet though, but the oxygen is doing him the world of good so at least thats something.

i spoke to my mum on the phone yesterday, it was lovely to have her back! although it was a bit upsetting because she says she thinks she'll need counselling when she comes out, because shes scared to come out.....i think shes scared of not having the machines there for backup maybe? think shes also scared because at the minute, shes having to have physio to get her legs to work in the morning, because obv shes not being using them. and she's in so much pain, with the drains still in her side, she says its getting too much to handle cos its constant, i suppose that'll be because shes not on as many meds and strong painkillers as before? its just sad to hear cos shes normally strong and upbeat despite all shes been through, im not surprised though, it must be so soul destroying.

wow, your mum sounds determined, good for her! why not enjoy it as long as she is able to be there. i'm sure you're glad the headache of all that can be postponed for a good while then?

and we all dream about the moment when we're able to retire, yet its a different story in many cases, i know a few people who've ended up volunteering in charity shops etc because they're bored, and i suppose when you're told cos theres no other choice, it can be a bit upsetting, but on the brightside, plenty more time to spend together with the grandchildren and together (and gaming ) and maybe you'll have your tea made when you get home from work.....result hehe bless him not telling you, sounds like a lovely man

well, charlie bugging me to pkay the cbeebies app on the tablet so i best go!

speak soon, take care

terri x

Hiya terri

Your Mum is I am sure understandably a little apprehensive and has been through so much but know with the love and support of her family she will be helped back to being able to enjoy her family.  She sounds very clued up on how she wants to be which is very positive and even she feels she needs a little counselling help to get 'back into the swing of things' then good for her.  I am also sure that the physio is all part of recuperation following a long period in bed (remember how we all feel after a bad bout of flu - wobbly legs, shaky) and they used that after my Mum had her fall to help the muscles start working again - slow process but she went from being horizontal to vertical, shuffling and now she is 87 (2 yrs on nearly) and walks reasonably confidentally with a frame.  Your Mum has age on her side and in her head wants to be well (something my Mum's mental health never acknowledges).

Hope Jamie's stepdad is still making progress and that it will not be too long before they know what the problem is and can put a treatment plan in place.

Bet Charlie enjoyed his 'tablet' session.  My grandson gets to have a short play on his Mum's (she got a freebie tablet with her last phone upgrade otherwise he would not have the opportunity!!) as a treat but most of the time prefers board games (as long as he can beat me!!)  and never tires of playing cars.  We will be seeing him later today as we are going with my daughter to pick him up from school so that we know where to collect him from. He finally began normal school hours yesterday and now seems a very grown up little boy (5 at end of November) and thankfully loves new class and teacher.

Its my day off today and so far have been very lazy.  Hubby has just got up and already our neighbour' cat has been into visit!!  Don't think he would ever have been a house husband as rarely visits the kitchen and like his Father before him does not consider any type of housework 'his job'.  So too late to expect him to change now.  He never complains and just seems able to sit and wait until  I am ready to 'get up and do'. Certainly the cancer is not responsible for this side of his character (just his general upbringing and they do so say to know your other half just look at the parents).

Hope when you next visit your Mum the improvements are there to see and you are taking care of yourself too. Take care Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Ha my hubby (still getting used to this!) sounds similar, he very rarely makes tea.....for me.....he's able to, cos he makes it for him and Charlie when I'm on lates, but its me that does it the rest of the time

Well, my mum is coming on in leaps, almost as soon as I got there she asked me to take ervto the loo, because she still has the drains, but she can't carry the bucket that they've put the tubs in cos its too heavy....and she walked to the toilet just linking arms with me, so yet another improvement. I made her some buns ( got a cupcake maker in my wedding gifts) so she's got a couple of buns to go with the million cups of watery tea she's no doubt drinking!

On the other hand, we found out on tues that Jamie's stepdad has got throat cancer, they took a biopsy last night but they're 95% sure it is that. Turns out the lump is what's blocking his airways and so enough carbon dioxide was struggling to get out and that's why he had his funny turn on Friday. They've put him on the life threatening list and so hope to have his op to remove it in the next few days. It hasn't spread as far as they can tell from scans so that's good, and they're optimistic about removing it in the op, but said it probably will grow back, so I'm sure there'll be some chemo and radiotherapy to slow that process down. They've also said he will lose his voicebox etc. But his dad is surprisingly upbeat and just says I'll do what needs doing and go from there. We've told him Charlie will think its cool if he has a grandad that's a transformer and talks like a robot, and he agrees yes he's very chipper considering and that's all you can be I guess.

I did the night shift, and kept it to one, as they didn't send enough shelves to do all the changes (18 short doh!) so the staff from the shop did the rest , which I'm glad of!

Oh and my poor grandad has got shingles, I've heard that's a ***, but he's going to see the nurse every morning and night to put cream on, cos its on his back. He'll be back to normal in no time though.

Another miserable message, I'm a bit of a one lately aren't I?

Anyway, hope you have some better news!

Speak soon take care Terri x

Hi terri

You and your hubby must have so many mixed emotions going on at present.  Wonderful news about your Mum - obviously a great fighter and you left my mouth watering with the mention of the cupcake maker - building her strength will certainly help her motivation and lets home its not too long  before she can be home and have the family fussing around her in more comfortable surroundings.

Sorry to read about your hubby's stepdad ; I suppose the only plus side is that now they know whats wrong they can get treating it - still a worry no one wants though. Hope the op goes ahead as quickly as possible for you all and that the outcome is good.  I love the way you have explained it to Charlie - amazingly young children are so accepting of these things (to young to have learnt fear, I suppose).  My grandson adapted really quickly to my hubby's sleeping during his visits, he tip-toes in and checks to see 1. if grandad is asleep or awake, 2. if he has had a shave (no kiss if he is prickly) 3. where are the  board games!!!!  You just have to smile no matter how your day has been.

On top of all that your poor grandad has shingles.  Rotten luck and not very pleasant. Hubby had it good few years ago and his was on his back so I used to smother him in the cream and he was still allowed to go to work!!!!!!  Told me it was painful but work took his mind of it (workaholic should have been a tattoo on his forehead).  Hope your grandad soon recovers though it takes some time to clear up.

Glad you only got lumbered with one night shift.  Some of our staff (including Manager) are on three nights starting tonight to try and do Xmas moves (too dangerous to do when customers about with so many shelves being shifted!!!  I spent nearly five hours on Wed moving Annuals from first to ground floors (should have big muscles by now but just find I am more hungry!!!) and then Thursday morning saw more moves and condensing some stock to make room for incoming Xmas lines.  Was very pleased when Friday arrived and its my day off, though I managed to visit the launderette, my mother, do the weekly shop before decided I had done enough for one day and took to the sofa.

We are still playing the waiting game with my daughter- she now only has 6 days till her due date!!  Hubby had his night out with his mate last night by my friend was looking after her granddaughter so we did not get to bingo this week(money saved went on buying wild bird food ready to refill my feeding station this weekend!!).

Well thats enough of a ramble through life for today!!  Have a good weekend and chat again soon.  Jules x

Hey Jules,

I wouldn't mind getting a bird table of some sorts, but there seem to be a thousand cats round here (I'm sure at least 800 poo in my front garden anyway! ) so I think it'd be a bit of a trap, cos Charlie's loves watching them out the window as well as trucks, cars, and a windmill up the road but he'll have to make do with pigeons and starlings for now.

Any appearance from the little one yet? My friend at work brought her daughter in yesterday, 9 weeks old, weighs nothing, and has the quietest cry you ever heard from a baby, so cute, making me broody lol

So Jamie's dad went for his meeting at hospital yesterday. They had the results from biopsy back confirming it is cancer. He's just waiting for a letter for his pre op now. It hasnt spread anywhere major, just a tiny bit in his throat, which they are going to cut out and put a skin graft from his leg in, just means the whole where he'll be having the voice thing (don't know what its called) will be a little bit bigger that's all.  He s going to the dentist today for an xray because he has to have all his teeth out. That's all I know at the moment. I asked how he's doing, he says he's fine, and he seems genuine. His reply was that life changes in every way, and you have to do what you can. He used the examples of having children, breaking a leg and having cancer so he seems ok with it.

My mum still doing ok, although not eating so cracky still and she's it a chest infection, but she's still plodding on. Going to see her on Friday, I asked her if she wanted owt fetching and the only thing she said were some fruit shortcake biscuits, so I will make sure I get some for her.

My grandad is doing ok, feeling sorry for himself bless him but he's managing he says.

We just had some fancy dress costumes delivered today, we ho to our friends house as they have a fab party every year (this will be the 4th year) and we look forward to it, they really go all out, its a fab do. I was going to go as a scary clown and jamie was going to go as predator but he saw a zombie bride and groom costume set, so we decided to go for that seeing we just got wed haha til death us do part they're called should be fun

So how's your mum doing? Peaceful for now I guess?

Anyway hope you're all doing well

Speak soon take care, keep smiling

Terri x

Hi Terri

Hope you find your Mum feeling a little brighter when you visit today (especially if  you have the biscuits she asked for - yummy, made my mouth water).  It must be hard for you all having to cope with the news about Jamie's stepdad but sounds as though he wont have to wait long to get his op under way and good news that there is no further spread.  Sure everyone will have everything crossed for a good outcome.  Dont envy him the teeth extractions though!  been there and done that about 18months ago.  My own teethwere crumbling mess and gums not good so we discussed  sensible options (could not afford indents!!) so now have a lovely set of 'falsies' and smile a lot more than I used to.

Still playing the waiting 'baby' game.  Son in law is very sure it will arrive on Sunday as its the last Touring Car Championship event and he is a great fan and is betting that he will have to miss the cars (dont think he would dare complain though!!). My daughter saw her midwife today and they say all is well and that they will discuss possible inductions if he has not made an appearance by her next appointment.

As to the bird table quandary (we had a cat ourselves once and now have several visiting ones) we use feeders rather than placing food straight onto the table (cat likes to sit on roof of the table but has yet to be quick enought to get himself a meal).  We also had a perspex window feeder which the kids loved to sit and watch (it met a sorry end when a pidgeon thought he could get onto it and they both ended up on the floor).

I am loving the idea of your fancy dress outfits and bet you will all have a great time partying and guessing whos hiding under what disguise!!  Don't frighten the children!!  Sounds like a super way to celebrate halloween!!!

Fingers crossed all is well your end and have a lovely weekend.  I am at the launderette again tomorrow (great place for a gossip I have found!!) and then visiting Mum again tomorrow. She was pretty fed up last week with the thought of having her Diabetic eye check up so probably will hear all about that if nothing else.  If baby has not arrived I will be out all being well on Friday evening but have kept the weekend arrangement free for now.  Chat again soon.  Take care  Jules xx

Hi Jules,

Yeah my mum was looking and seeming fab, they've confirmed finally it was tb! So if any more of us get ill that'll be the first thing we mention to look for! She still says she's going to need counselling, I asked what shes most scared of and she said choking! It must be because of all the tubes etc he's had around hermouth/nose, but we'll make sure she gets whatever help she needs until she feels tip top.

It has been a bit hard at times, feels like one blow after another but we'll manage, we always do

Yeah I don't envy him either, although if it was me, it'd help me lose weight if all I could do was eat soup etc for a bit haha, but since he went in and they took the biopsy and cut away some while in there, he's been eating like crazy, so hopefully put some of his weight back on cos he wasn't able to eat cos he coukdnt swallow it because it hurt so that's good.

Any appearance from the little one yet?! Something else for you to concentrate on, cooing and spoiling I love babies

One of our neighbours has a massive fir tree in their garden and quite high up is a bird table (it must have gone up there as the tree has grown cos its too high) and that sometimes gets blue *** in it, they're cute little birds, but mostly round here we have big fat round wood pigeons, they are lovely and clean looking, although the top of my shed says something different! And its almost time for our friend robin who has been coming to our back garden since we moved in almost 6 years ago

Looking forward to the Halloween party, there's no children going though, its a bit too scary :/ we were going to get Charlie a little outfit and take him to his grandma's trick or treating but we'll be away, we're going to great yarmouth for a week, never been, it'll be freezing but it'll bea nice little break although jamie is going to come back for a day because his dad is having his op on the 29th and he wants to make sure he's ok bless him. About a six or seven hour round trip.

How did your mums eye check go? Hope it passed without to much trouble for her

I've decided I am fed up with my job, and am looking elsewhere, although the reality of it is i'll probs be stuck with it til I retire lol just hate having to get Charlie out of bed and take him to grandma's at 5 in the morning when me and jamie both work an early sat or sun, or getting home after a late and miss him going to bed, makes me sad. But I suppose to give him the things he needs and wants I'll have to plod on

Although I'm not doing any more nights! Director of fuel came two weeks ago and decided he didn't like the flow of the new layout so wants t all changing round again. I agree to be honest but still a pain in the bum

Hows the hubby doing? Good I hope?

Speak soon take care

Terri x

hi jules,

how's it going? any arrivals yet, surely so?!

sorry to hear the hubby is a bit down, i'm sure its more than expected at some point, lets just hope he perks up a bit, i'm sure he will when he meets the new baby, cos who can be sad around babies?

have you been to the bingo lately? keep saying i'm going to go, but haven't so far haha

we went out for a meal and drinks on friday for jamies bday on sunday, it was a nice night, we went to our fave italian restaurant zucchinis and then for a few drinks and a dance (the girls did anyway ha) made a nice change!

i've got a lot of social outings coming up really, not like me! there's the halloween party, then on the 26th nov i'm going to a concert of my favourite band, barenaked ladies, (they're canadian, not many people have heard of them over here) not only watching the concert but a vip meet and greet before the show, that was my wedding present from jamie, i can't wait! then on the 29th nov i'm going with the girls to a burlesque show and vip after party, not sure i'll be making it to the party seeing as the show doesn't finish til midnight! but it should be an interesting night anyway. 7th dec i'm gojng out for a meal with my fellow weightwatchers to a blues brothers night at a hotel (never actually seen the film but heard there,s some good music to dance to, so thats ok lol) and then there'll be works night out when thats arranged plus family gatherings around christmas, which i really can't wait for, charlie knows santa claus is coming with presents if he's a good boy, so it will be more fun now he understands it all now, plus it'll be nice to celebrate with the family and then say goodbye to 2013 being the worse year for bad luck in our family ever (apart from the wedding that is lol)

guess who's doing a night shift tomorrow night.......boooooo lol warehouse needs a right good seeing to so me and my boss are going in to sort it out, and she told me yesterday that i'm going to another store in a couple of weeks ( the other one i helped out on nights) i don't know how long for, if its temp or permanent (hope not!) because the store is 'broken' so they want me to help sort it out :/ so job search on hold for now, it might do me good if i'm honest, just to have a little break, and to answer your question, no idea what job, i used to do elderly care and would very much like to go back to that, just the money, its really poor unfortunately, but we'll see later on, cos can't afford to lose anything at the moment, took our dog odin to the vet on friday because we thought he had piles, cos he has this little red lump on his bum but turns out its his prostate gland and he needs it all cutting away and castrating to prevent it turning to cancer down the line and xrays cos she thinks he has arthritis too.....she said if she tells us£800 that will defo be enough.......ouch!

we haven't got him insured because he had hip dysplasia as a v young pup about a year old, and had a hip replaced so people were reluctant to insure him unfortunately. he's 12 now bless him, so we're going to sort it when we get back from great yarmouth, cos don't want to leave him recovering when we're not here.

mums doing ok, reasonable i mean. her lung has collapsed apparently so they're going to put her a valve in and try and re-inflate it and take it from there. she's managing ok at the minute so we'll have to see what happens.