Hi Terri

How frustrating for you and your Mum that you still have no proper outcome to all her investigations.  Hope the second opinion brings about some news but can fully understand that your Mum wants to enjoy the next few weeks without the 'hassle' of deciding what she should or should not do if faced with options.  IT is great that you all have the wedding looming (despite the costs involved).  Following on from your little un's toilet training I am now picturing a singing potty during the service (sorry) but they are so pleased with themselves when they get it right.  My grandson (5 in November) gave us plenty of laughs when he went through toilet training and is now extremely proud that he is grown up enough to wipe his own bottom!!  Another milestone reached.  My daughter has just signed him up for a learn to swim crash course during the school holidays. He loves the water and already manages without support but she would like him to learn properly and safely.

We are visiting my sister in law tomorrow and also there will be brother in law/wife with new huskie puppy and later in the day daughter and family will join us. Apparently we are due some rain which is a shame but having said that maybe it will be less muggy afterwards.

Hope you all have a good weekend and look forward to chatting again. Jules xx

Hi Jules, well the second opinion has gave us some news, possibly good, my mum is going to have the op in 2 weeks and depending on what they find, the outcome could be a few things, apparently there still isn't enough evidence to say that it is definitely cancer, so that's why he wants to investigate. He's reassured my mum and explained things a lot better than the other surgeon, that's why she's willing to go ahead, he told her to discuss it with me and my sis and obv we're both happy for her to get sorted, so she's going for it. So depending on size, type or whatever else it could be, options are, closing her back up and having chemo/radio to shrink it and go from there, or as before, possible full lung removal, which has a ten day recovery time, if that's the case, she will be pushing it for the wedding, but she's already booked a wheelchair for hire just incase! I've told her not to worry about the wedding, but she's adamant she's going, so wild horses wouldn't stop her! So we'll have to wait and see what happens

Bonus from the wedding payments is that we seem to have saved an extra 3 thousand pounds than we needed, so we are going to have a week away in Oct as a late honeymoon and then start on a new kitchen (seems like a bonus, but then I've thought of all the mess that will follow ha!)

Ha brilliant, yeah my niece who's also five is also suited about the same!

Haha oh to be young again, and just have the simplest pleasures again

I hope you had a nice time with the family and huskie  puppy, I bet it was gorgeous, they look so cute and cuddly!

Did you get the rain, by eck we did! But as you said, its less muggy now, so it was worth it

Hope you're all well, speak to you soon, take care x

Hi Terri

So pleased your Mum has more faith in the second opinion and very gutsy of her to go ahead and get things moving.  Lets hope the op shows some good news but come what may I can see she will be a big part of your exciting day (not sure you or your sis will have any say in the matter bless her).  I am sure you must all be relieved to know that you can now move forward (though  no doubt still a bit aprehensive).

Good to hear you have surprise spare funds and even though it will be a bit of a mess whilst its done think what it will be like afterwards in your new kitchen.

Our time with the family was great fun.  My hubbys's sister/brother and sister in law (no kids between them) had bought a paddling pool and when we arrived they were all sitting with their feet in it alongside bobbing soft drinks/beers and wine keeping cool.  Add to the mix a 5mth old huskie (beautiful and wonderfully behaved) who likes playing ball plus our grandson whose main aim was to make sure we were all wet (it worked despite being fully clothed) and there you have a home made pool party for no other reason than it was hot!!!  Fantastic.  We were lucky as the rain held off until after 5.30 by which time we were indoors getting dinner together and we all enjoyed a meal together before my daughter and family went home (the little one was asleep within 10mins and they carried him to bed when they got home and he slept in till 9 a.m. so think we have found a way to tire him out at last (we just have to revert to being kids ourselves - no hassle).We got home around 11 p.m. and its one of the best days out for ages.  Hubby spent a great deal of Sunday asleep but at least he enjoyed it too.

Have a good week. chat soon. Hugs and best wishes to you all.Jules xx

Hey Jules,

That sounds like it was a lot of fun, glad you all had a fab time

My mum rang today and said they've booked her in for the 29th with her new surgeon, apparently she could've had it a bit sooner if she didn't mind having someone else, but she said she was happy to wait as the new guy put her at ease and made her hopeful, and she said she felt like he completely trusted him after ten minutes of meeting him so that's great....plus she won't have to worry about potentially being in hosp for my wedding, so double win for her I guess!

Yeah I am envisioning a brand new kitchen and its giving me goosepimples lol....our current kitchen is so old! Its the only thing we haven't done in our house yet...so imagine...lemon yellow walls, a beige crazy paving link, brown panelling wallpaper on one wall, brown cupboards and white surfaces and 50's retro (well, the real thing lol) sliding glass door cupboards on the wall, do you know the ones I mean? It absolutely needs a revamp, and yeah I guess I can put up with a little bit off mess just to get rid lol

3 weeks on sat til the big day......still not panicking....don't know if that's normal ha!

Hope you're both well, speak soon, take care x

hi jules,

yeah i am giving in to the excitement now yay \o/ 15 more sleeps hahaha big kid!

and yeah looking forward to new kitchen, means i can hide the jaffa cakes from charlie, he's such a fiend for them! i quite enjoy cooking, just don't have enough time to spend doing it it seems!

aww thats terrible about your mum having to move homes, how did she take the news? will you get to choose which council one she will have to go to or do they tell you, or i suppose itll be a postcode/catchment area decision maybe?

glad hubby doing well, charlie loves bug hunting too, obsessed with spiders at the moment ha (i'm not ha)

i love to go to the bingo now and again too, funnily enough ive had an emial today with a voucher for a free book one evening because i haven,t been for a while, so it'd be rude not to use it wouldn't it?

we've been to cleethorpes today for a day out and we took jamies mum, she really enjoyed it, we all did, charlie loves sand so he had a run round on the beach for a bit, but we didn't go the sea to paddle cos it was about a mile out! but we picked up some shells and pebbles and i'm going to clean them up and we'll keep them in charlies box ( i have a box with all his baby stuff in, first outfit, scan pics etc ) and i make notes of his firsts' for when he grows up, but also for me, i don't want to forget anything he's done ( big softie aren't i?)

sorry, my tablet went funny.....

so the shells will go in as the first time he collected them, because he's never been bothered about them before, shows he's growing up and becoming more interested in things, which is good, but also sad lol (growing too fast )

anyway, nice chatting, hope you're doing ok too, you've a lot on with hubby and mum etc (the strong ones don't always get asked)

keep smiling, speak soon

terri x

Morning Terri

Lovely to read all your news and I can almost feel the excitement building - not long now.  Hope you had a lovely weekend too.

Thanks for thinking of me and on the whole am doing okay with just the occasional meltdown.  Thurs/Fri there were lots of telephone calls between social worker, me and home where Mum currently lives.  Apparently because this private home is not on the council's preferred list (costs above their budget!!) they would prefer (decision based on 1hr interview assessment) to move Mum to sheltered housing with extra care package which would see her sitting in a self contained flat alone with just carers popping in when required.(This is a block of 45 purpose built flats about hrs walk away from me).

  Have explained things to Mum as best as possible and she come to us for the day on Saturday so she could talk about it in some privacy.  She does suffer from mental bipolar illness and is unable physically (87 and just about managed to walk with a frame for support) to do anything for herself.  Anyway her visit to me was quite difficult and she is subject to mood dips.  She wanted to go back to the home after just a couple of hours but I gently persuaded her to stay as we had arranged return time with the home and had hoped being out would perk her up a bit.  Basically apart from eating what was put in front of her she just sat in a chair with eyes shut and just reiterated that she did not want to leave the home.  Sadly once her savings are gone (probably about another 6 months) she will have little choice left unless the council agree to part fund (with her pension making up the  balance).  My daughter and family popped in for a couple of hours during the afternoon and we had early tea to keep her routine in line with what shes used to and then took her back.  I think it took more out of me than  had expected  and by 8p.m. both hubby and  were asleep in front of the tv!

Though  my hubby is still able to manage for himself at present (albeit slowly and with breathlessness) I cannot manage to look after Mum as well and at the moment it feels I am fighting a losing battle.  Still the social worker tells me it can take months to get things finalised so it appears the worrying will continue for a while and in the end with the financial issues it will  not leave us with much choice.

Hope you make use of your bingo treat voucher and get a win out of it.  Must say its my social night out and gives me time to completely switch off.  When I went on Friday I had a little win which means next week will be a freebie (as it will also be my birthday a nice treat).

Hope you have a good week and am sure your little boy will keep you busy.  Wish I had their energy.

Take care and chat soon.Jules x

hi jules,

well done on your win, and if i don't manage to get back on before, i wish you a very happy birthday and hope you manage to have a well deserved great day and maybe a big win this week too

mum in law doing really well, hormone injections going ok, had 2 so far and no side effects so thats good, shes lost one of her big toe nails though and shes bothered about people looking at it cos shes got some open toe shoes for the wedding, i told her not to worry because they'll be too busy looking at me haha (thats funnymostly because i am the least vain person you could meet lol) she'll be ok i'm sure.

mums doing well, looking forward to her op and getting sorted and then finding out what future holds for her at last ( all being well)

well, 3 more working days and i'm off for 2 and a half weeks, sooo can't wait......will need it to practice my new signature lol can't wait!

well i hope you have a good week and weekend, i'm signing off here because my tablet is cuckoo and won't let me back to the end ha, stay strong and keep smiling take care x

i used to work in a private care home and its shocking how tight this country is, i mean i know that they charge a fortune, but you do tend to get the care you pay for, but the amount of people i saw have to leave or families go skint to pay for them after their savings had gone is ridiculous. and actually i don't agree with them having to pay for it in the first place after working so hard all their lives ( but thats another rant altogether ha) so even though i personally haven't gone through it, i've been in the environment where others have and its heartbreaking, i really do feel for you and your mum.

Hi terri

Had a lovely birthday thanks (no win at the bingo but then must not be greedy). Had a lovely BBQ at my son and girlfriends on the Saturday and managed to stay outside to eat and enjoy homemade birthday cake to follow before a small shower sent us scurrying inside.  It was valuable family time (daughter and family and hubby and sister in law also enjoying the occasion).  The menfolk paid a visit to the local garden centre and came back with fish (5 small ones) for the new pond my son finished recently and we all looked on whilst our grandson helped 'unpack' them into their new home.  On Sunday hubby and I had a relaxing day though I did go for a two hour wander to the local farmer/artisan craft market - normally a good source for buying birthday presents  but apart from a card I did not get anything this time.

Mum's social worker is on holiday so have a break from that particular stress.  The silly thing is that the 'top up fees' would be less than the cost of the support they would need to put in place if they move her back into the community where she would be alone in a self contained flat and be expected to push a button for the care on site to come in when she needed them (bearing in mind she cannot do anything for herself other than eat and drink what is put in front of he,unable to stand unsupported and has a carer in the home who is always there when she needs to walk with the frame (history of falls all recorded and her bipolar illness problems)), the situation would be laughable if it was not so serious . In the words of Spock 'its illogical'.  They have their guidelines and it appears they plan to stick to them.  In the end I can only do my best on Mum's behalf and if they go ahead and move her anyway, they will have to face the problems they have created and by the time this is sorted she will have virtually no money left (just her pension) so they will have to spend more in supporting her so called independent living.

Good to read things going well for your Mother in Law and your Mum and hope the build up to  your big day (the wedding not the new kitchen) goes smoothly and you enjoy every single minute of it.

Take care and looking forward to hearing all about it.  Jules xx