Nessie

Im so sorry to hear your news. I cant imagine what you're going through. But I do know that its not very long, and Im sure what you're feeling is completely normal and expected. Please find someone to talk to. I remember there used to be a group called CRUISE, that was made up of volunteers that had been through this sort of thing and were very helpful and knowledgable. Try and google your local group. You never know they might be able to help you, even if it was only over this beginning stage.

I do know one thing you've struck it lucky finding this site, there will be people along very soon who know exactly how you feel, they will be supportive and empathetic.

A really big cyber hug and kiss on the cheek Nessie,

Let us know how you are getting on, come back soon, even if you just want to scream or say how you're feeling at that moment in time,

Love Marian x

Hi Nessie28,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am so sorry to learn of your bereavement, it is very early days so take heart things will get easier but it will take time. The hurt will never go away but it will lessen and be more manageable.

I understand so well how you feel as I lost my husband two years ago. The members on this forum will be supportive as I discovered so return here and let us know how you are doing. You will have good days, not so good days and really terrible days but eventually there will be more good days than bad. Try to concentrate on the good/happy times, I found talking to family and friends very helpful in the immediate aftermath of all the administrative chores that need doing and sometimes you will feel you are on auto pilot.

Hang in there as there is a reason to go on, your husband would not want you to be sad for too long and always remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it may be a long tunnel but the light will get brighter in time. My thoughts are with you, Rodis.

Nessie

My wife died recently (Jan 12)  I know what a huge loss it is - it will take time to feel different about it. There are some online chat groups for widow(er)s that I have found useful:

http://www.widow.co.uk

http://www.merrywidow.me.uk/

and WAY (Widowed and Young (for under 50's)

WAYUP for over 50's

I think contact with people in a similar position can help

VInce

Hi Marian

Thank you for your kind words, it make me feel that I'm not alone.

I know ther are thousands of people like me & sadly there will be more...

I have great friend & it is early days yet, just wish the pain would go away,  but that will take time.

Thanks again Marian & thanks for my cyber hug.

Regards Vanessa

Hi Rodis

Thank you for your kind words. & you are right Tony would not like me to be so sad or upset. I'm sorry you lost your husband also., life can be very unfair as we have found out!

I am very hard on myself & just want the pain to go away.  I put the photos away as I found they were really upsetting me & making me cry even more, if that was possible, is that wrong to do that?  I know when the time is right I will put them back again, as we got married  5 weeks before he died I find it really hard to look at them as it was such a lovely day, & i wish I could magic him back.. ( how silly is that) .

Take care Rodis and thank you again.  

Kind regards

Nessie 28

Hi Vince

Sorry you lost your wife this year also, how are you coping? If that is not a stupid question!

Thank you food the links, I will give them a try.

Hope your ok

Take care

Nessie28

Hi there Nessie,

You're welcome. Youre not alone........we're all herelistening............x

Marian x