Hi Susan, thanks for you support, I will certainly keep logging on and getting advice from others who have been in my situation. I will also keep everyone up to date with my husbands prognosis and hopeful treatment.

many thanks

Angela

Anytime.  Keep us posted

S x

Hi my name is Viv and I live in the North West my daughter who is 25 has been diagnosed with a terminal brain cancer two weeks ago. They told her she has 3-6months to live if the chemo works or an average of 12 months if it is does not.  To be honest I am absolutely devastated and do not know what to say to her.  She has already been arranging her own funeral. I want to cry all the time and she is so brave.  

She is on her second course of chemo and it is making her very sick, the doctor has just fitted a pump to help her counteract the sickness.  I am at a loss, I talk to her and all I want to do is cry.

She is so brave and I am an absolute mess.  Are all these feelings natural?

Hi Viv,

I would have to assume that these feeling are very natural, I'm a mum to a 22 and a 20 year old and can't even imagine what you must be going through.

One of the hardest things I had to do was tell my mum I had cancer, she was in bits and like your daughter, I was the brave one.

I don't know what to say to you, except that you'll both be in my thoughts and prayers.

Log on anytime you need to chat to someone

Take care

S x

Hi everyone,  Well! now we know. My husband had his results yesterday. He was told his cancer is inoperable becaus it has migrated into his lymph nodes and the bottom of his stomach.

What makes me sad is, he went by himself, didnt tell me he was going, he only went for a paper,but when he'd been gone 45mins I rang to see if he was ok. I was devastated when he told me he was at the hospital, we had talked about it and agreed I should go with him, so I can't understand why he went on his own.

The cancer nurse from the hospital has phoned him this morning to discuss treatments, but he won't talk to me about it. He says he's absolutely quaking from information overload, which is understandable, but he won't let me share it.

He's got the weekend to think about whats been discussed, before he makes a decision where he goes from here, but that is all he'l tell me.

The consultant has told him to think in terms of months rather than years, and I'm only going on my husbands demenure today but it to me as if he is giving up, doesn't want to fight it. He is just laying on the sofa sleeping, yes I know that could be the medication, but it's just not like him, he's an ex Grenadier used to tight situations, I would have expected no less of him in his present situation.

I'l just have to keep a lid on it and hope he opens up,, nothing else I can do really, but what do you do when, you have a two and a half year old granddaughter who's a real excitable chatterbox, who loves her grandad to bits and who cannot understand why she can't climb all over grandad now because it hurts him

Hi Viv,

I don't want to compare my situation to your hubbies but here's how the inside of your head sometimes works, you pitch up at the hospital and by the time you come out your head feels like it's about to explode.  Some appointments I went to on my own, listened to what they told me, went for a coffee, and tried to digest it all (the information not the coffee), went home in a daze, and didn't want to tell anyone, it took me a day or two to get my head round things, then I could tell people.  You have to unjumble things for yourself because when you tell people what the doctors told you all of a sudden everybody thinks you should........ and in they pitch with their tuppencehapnies worth. Give him a bit of breathing space, he knows he can rely on you and that he has your full support, just tell him when he's ready to talk your ready anytime, just be gentle, we're not being hurtful to those around us, we just need to breath for a while and get our heads round things.

Jeff/Tony/Lyn/Pat all will give you good advice, they'll be kicking around soon.

Keep in touch and let us know how things are going.

S x

Dear hi jacker aka Martha,  doing fine. Yes I'm thinking We should start a new thread.... Post surgery.....  now what.....!      Hair is so fluffy if I run my fingers across the top of my head  I can just see bits sticking out  that's long enough for a trim me thinks. When one has spent 6 months flaunting ones baldness this now seems unruly.   I started a campaign for folk to donate hats and scarves to our local hospital Macmillan unit I was surprised that this wasn't in place. Do folk keep there hats post treatments?  Do you do this up in sunny Scotland or does any one else do this?  I donated all my head gear then harangued as many folk at work to  donate a nice scarf or hat or knit a beanie and will continue to do this on a periodic basis. Hopefully it will give ladies a choice to try and take away and in return when they are finished they can recycle .

Honestly,  work is tough. I wanted to go back and did a few weeks after surgery because I was climbing Walls sat here,  but for the first time in my whole  25 years of working there  I am not enjoying it....

Actually am off to start a new topic feeling guilty for hogging this thread. ( only slightly )   Still quilting have made twelve to take to the Macmillan unit tomorrow  for them to sell.   

Happy carolling!  bev x

Hey,

I thought you'd done a runner, you've been very quiet, probably busy quilting!!!!

Well mine is like a mop, it's thick (and grey), and ear length (and grey), with a bit of a kink (and grey)..........oh and did I mention it's come in grey?  I have all my hats/scarves etc in a cupboard beside my wig now, never actually though about handing them in to the ward - good thinking batman.  Actually I was getting some photos done the other week (my uncle is a photographer) and he mentioned that he didn't really capture me when I wore my wig, and he asked if I wanted to go and put it on, I couldn't do it, that's in the past now and isn't for revisiting anymore.  Strange eh, mind you this was just before I was going for my scan results to identify the 2 shadows and no way was I going to tempt fate.

Anyhow up here in Bonny Scotland we need our hats to keep off the chill wind, it's blowing a gale up here alll weekend and freezing cold, almost time for me to hibernate.

I find work quite hard going to just now, I find myself having to concentrate on even the simplest of things, and things that I could rattle through before now take me longer to do........think the old grey matter has gone a bit rusty.  3 days a week is fine, I'm really tired by a Thursday finish time and spend the weekend sleeping.

However Christmas looms, was shopping today with eldest daughter - she's a nightmare to shop for/with, everything is too big or too small, too pink, too blue, too red, too dark, too light, too stripey, too plain, too flowery - you get the picture?  But we did find a heavy jacket and a bracelet she liked, the wee one on the other hand can shop for Britain, but her shopping is done, just the wrapping to do, that's tomorrows job after my aunt has pained my tooties and tidied my eyebrows, a wee girlie day in for us - yahoo!!!

Catch up soon brabuddy

S x

Hi Merlin,

It may be better to start your own thread so responses between us all don't get muddled as this is a general intro thread. As for you, I honestly think you are doing the right thing and sitting back and waiting for your husband to open up a bit more. I understand his and your situation as I also have inoperable cancer in my liver, pelvis and chest from original bowel cancer. I am doing well on treatment and got the illest when on chemo....I am taking a short break from chemo after 16/17 sessions every 3 weeks for a year...I am happy that after six weeks rest I am feeling a whole lot better as I could hardly walk as my legs etc hurt so much when on the chemo, now I have had a rest all my functions are getting back to normal.

If he is really quiet it doesn't necessarily mean he has given up...it also could be that he is scared to bits with all the information and is trying his very best to process all of the information. If he is not sure of his own feelings then it can be difficult to talk and share.

Hope you continue to come on here so we can walk you through any issues you may have.

Much Love

Tony xxx