Hi Diskii.

A very warm welcome to the forum.

I am so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through. Any mother would rather have cancer themself, instead of watching one of their children travel this journey. Cancer unfortunately affects every member of a family. I am glad to see that your daughter has good support from yourself and her husband, but please be careful not to overdo things. You will be no use to her if you become ill. 

As someone who has had 2 bouts of breast cancer in less than a year, and who lost her mum to secondary breast cancer, I know the devastation that such a diagnosis can cause. I do understand your daughter's viewpoint re not wanting sympathy, but it really does help to have people to talk to. A positive attitude does help us to cope with all that this entails. A lot depends upon how you tell people and how positive and matter of fact you can be in the telling. At first I did get sympathy from some friends and colleagues. Looking back, this was probably because I was terrified. Having since had a lumpectomy and a double mastectomy, followed by 7½ years of hormone therapy, I have learned a lot more about my condition and have become more positive in myself. I am now16 years post-diagnosis and fortunate enough to still lead a busy and fulfilling life.

Please don't feel guilty. It sounds as if you are doing what you can and I'm sure that your daughter appreciates all that you are doing.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you are both getting on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx