Carer - how can I support my wife? I find it difficult to know what to say

I am a 79 year old male. My wife had breast cancer 5 years ago and now has all the symptoms of some form of larangeal cancer. She had an appointment with a consultant five weeks ago and had a Panendoscopy with biopsy ten days ago.She has suffered with a degree of anxiety all her adult life but I have never seen her like this before. The waiting for results is honestly unbearable. She can experience constant retching for up to an hour, suffers severe night sweats and constant nausea and has difficulty communicating due to damaged vocal cords.

I am partially physically handicapped having had four hip operations, a heart attack, and in the last three years have broken both shoulders. I find it extremely difficult to talk to my wife. Eg. if I say you will be fine, the retort is how do you know.

Any support or suggestions to get through these early stages would be welcome.

  • A very warm welcome to the Cancer Chat community jackojacks0n although I'm sorry to hear your wife may be contending with a second cancer diagnosis.

    This must such a difficult and stressful time for you both but I hope it helps to know that we're here for you and are sending you both all our strength and support.

    I hope this guide we have on how to cope with waiting for news and some of these tips the NHS have on managing anxiety will help you both at this time but if either of you would like to have a chat with one of our cancer nurses about any of this, you can give them a call on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. Our nurses are very easy to talk to and will do all they can to help you through this very unsettling and anxious time.

    Hopefully some of our members will share their experiences and advice with you soon as well but in the meantime, our thoughts are with you and we'll have our fingers crossed you and your wife won't have to wait too much longer for some much needed answers and peace of mind.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator