Hello Positive1972, 

A warm welcome to our forum and thank you for coming here and sharing your story. I am sorry to hear that your husband's PSA results have shown a rise and I can imagine it must be a real worry for you and I hope that the preventative radiotherapy treatment is going well and keeping everything under control. It's good that they are keeping an eye on his PSA and that he is having these scans and they seem to be very thorough in their investigations which is a good thing. 

Having lost your previous partner to bowel cancer, this has understandably left a deep mark so it's normal to be feeling anxious, to have these feelings of numbness or anger you describe and which many of our members will be able to relate to. It must be hard as well to listen to your husband play melancholic songs about the meaning of life - it seems to be his way of expressing himself when he is unable to talk about his emotions and it's normal that it's making you feel a little bit powerless, not knowing how to best support him if he is not willing to talk about it. All you can do really is be there for him and continue to be supportive and as you know him best, you will I am sure find ways to show him your love and support during this difficult time.  

There is useful information on our website for Family, friends and carers which contains useful information on how to support someone with cancer and it goes into detail about the emotions they might feel and emotional support your can provide. You mentioned you are a very practical person and that will also be a great quality to have and our information also includes the practical support you can give.

If you ever wanted to talk to one of our cancer nurses about anything, they have a free helpline you can ring on 0808 800 4040 - it is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm so don't hesitate to give them a call if you have any questions or simply want to talk things through. 

There will be other members of our community who have been through something similar and who have felt or are feeling just like you and hopefully they will be along shortly to share their experience with you. I hope you won't mind but I have slightly edited the title of your thread to include more contextual information so that it can be more easily spotted by others who are in a similar place or who have also had a prostate cancer diagnosis.

We're all here for you anytime you need to offload and I hope that the preventative radiotherapy will be effective and that your husband suffers no side effects. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator