Hi SuzyE,

A very warm welcome to the forum, although I'm sorry to hear why you're here.

I went through this with my mum at the same age. She had battled with breast cancer for 12 years, before it spread to her brain, bone, liver and lungs. It is a tremendous strain to watch someone you love, going through this ordeal, so it's no wonder that you are crying so much. Try not to cry too much in front of your mum, as this might upset her. However, crying in private is a different matter. We all need an escape valve at times of great stress and crying is a great stress reliever.

It must be so hard to accept that this is happening, when your mum was only diagnosed 3 months ago. Do you have any family or friends who can share the burden with you? It does help to have someone who you can talk to. I know that it is difficult to imagine a life without your mum by your side, but there is time to worry about this when it happens. Your mum needs your support just now. Be there for her and see that everything is done to make her as comfortable as possible. If she is still able to talk, say all that you have to say to her. If you have any burning questions about your life, ask her now while she can answer you.

My mum went into a hospice for the last week of her life. It was so different from the hospital and we were glad that she moved there, even for such a short time.

I am thinking of you both and I am always here for you.

Please keep in touch,

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hugs. 

I'm so sorry, Suzy. I'm very close to my daughter and I know it was hard for her when I was diagnosed. You'll cope, although I know it won't feel that way now, because of that closeness you have. You're never going to lose that link between the two of you, even when she's not physically there. It's ok to cry but Jolamine is right about not crying too much in front of your mother. She knows this is difficult for you and probably always wants to be there to support you, but that's not possible. I hope you have some support, with relatives or friends. If not, please consider places like https://www.maggies.org/ where you can talk to people who can help. Take care of yourself. I'm sure your mother would want that. Gill xx

Thank you, she ended up passing away on Friday so just trying to get my head round it xxx

Thank you, she died on Friday as went rapidly downhill very fast to just trying to get my head round it xxx

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Do you have people around you to support you? I know this has happened quite quickly and you're still in shock. You were close to her, so it might help you to be able to talk to her with people who knew her too. I'm sure you have some lovely memories of her that you might want to share. If you need practical help with things, https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-support/helpline/ is available on a freephone number to talk to you. Again, I am sorry. Please take care of yourself and thank you for posting to let us know. Gill xx

Dear Suzy,

I am so very sorry to hear that your mum passed away so quickly. There will be a lot to do over the next few weeks and, you  won't really find time to grieve until the funeral is over. Do you have any family or friends who can support you at this difficult time? One thing I found very helpful after I lost my mum was to have a nice photo of her in a prominent place. I often stopped to chat to her as I passed and found this very reassuring. Perhaps you would find it helpful to do this too?

I am always here if you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx 

Hugs.