Hi,

It’s been a while since I posted.

Recap - In 2021 I lost my mum, she had oral cancer, within a month I was at my 6 monthly dental check up to be told I had 2 small ulcers on my tongue. I was told to go back in 2 weeks if they hadn’t gone but due to grief and having a breakdown I didn’t go back for 6 months….not great but I could not mentally cope so I have forgiven myself.

My dentist referred me, I had a biopsy then 2 months later I had right lateral tongue ablation. Had a good recovery and not much change to my tongue working, only when I was tired did I become a bit tongue-tied. Histology said I had mild and moderate dysplasia.

December 2024 I had a second biopsy, same area a new red patch appeared. I didn’t receive my results until the end of Jan 2025 and it came back ok although it felt sore sometimes if I caught food down that side of my tongue. I was told to monitor the area.

The consultant monitored me on a more frequent basis in the following months, by September 2025 I had a new white spot below the lesion and because our daughter was getting married in New Zealand and then it was Christmas, I was given time to ponder the next move.

Jan 2026 I was given an ultimatum, 1. watchful wait, 2. biopsy or 3. surgical removal; I opted for 3 and on Feb 25th, today I am at home after having my second surgery.

Surgery went well, I think. I have to say my consultant Mr Adam’s is great, warm and empathetic. I trust his guidance and he has gone along with my wishes and I am very grateful for that and the whole team.

I recognise how hard this must be for my husband, we have been together for 40 years, met each other in our teens. He is my everything and we are very lucky to have had so much time together.

Moving forward I am very much constantly searching for moments of joy.
Our 2 grown daughters have had major trauma, one losing her baby girl in 2014 and my other daughter in NZ having her first born diagnosed with infantile spasms in 2020, now aged 6 Layla has complex epilepsy. Super proud of our girls and very blessed with our grandchildren, I never take anything for granted.

I try to keep as much about my health between my husband and I because I don’t want to add to our girls plate.

For me it is the hardest thing adding this to my family, I am learning to accept that ‘it is what it is’ and so far we have been fortunate with the results.

I just wanted to say that although this is not something anyone wants, I love with more heart than ever before and I have insight into what truly matters, my loved ones.

I don’t moan about crumbs on my kitchen worktop (ok maybe I mutter to myself!) but life is just for living. I have had mental health challenges accepting what may happen in future, walking this path with my mum and going through her neck dissection surgery etc.

She went through the mill then got secondary breast cancer, she made it to 85 so a good age but her last 6 years were very tough.

We were close then we weren’t but before she died I sat with her a few times, told her I loved her even after all that had happened she was still my mum but it was a complicated grief when I lost her.

Just clearing my head getting ready to take my painkillers before I go to sleep, rambling in this safe space where others understand this is a rollercoaster journey.

Wishing all on here peace, healing and strength and thank you for reading ️

Sue