Grade 3 breast cancer aged 35 - My head is all over the place, not knowing how to feel or what to do. I feel like I'm in limbo

Hi all I got diagnosed with breast cancer a couple of weeks before Christmas and I’ve had to keep going back and forth to hospital every week for biopsies as they think they are missing something. I’ve got 5 young children (oldest is 11 youngest is 3). My head is all over the place not knowing how to feel or what to do. I keep a smile on my face everyday for my family and friends but cry my heart out in bed every night. Hoping I get a plan in place soon so I can start fighting it as at the moment I feel like I’m in limbo. This is the first time ive reached out to talk to someone other than my cancer nurses at hospital