Hi Tennisfan31,

A very warm welcome to the forum.

I an so sorry to hear of what you and your partner have been through and how you feel about it all. Do you know what stage or grade your lobular cancer was and did you have any radiotherapy or chemotherapy? The face we put on for friends and relatives is often no reflection of our true feelings and it can take quite some time to come to terms with the change to our bodies. Is the nurse that you are referring to your specialist nurse? Unless she is aware of any particular problems you have, it is usually up to the patient to contact their nurse if they need any help or advice. It is usually a matter of leaving a telephone message and the nurse will get back to you as soon as she can. It sounds as if this was not properly explained to you at the outset.

Have you discussed with any of your care team the nausea you suffer, because of taking these drugs? Most of the hormone therapies can cause nausea, but some cause more than others. They may be able to give you a different drug that won't make you feel so sick - also changing the time that you take the tablets can sometimes help with this. 

Everything happens so quickly after diagnosis that it is difficult to take it all in. It is probably only now that you are beginning to fully appreciate the changes. A positive attitude goes a long way to helping us cope with a cancer diagnosis and treatment. Instead of bemoaning what you had, which is a natural reaction, do you think that you could possibly turn this around to appreciate how fortunate you were to find the cancer, when both you and your partner were unaware of it. You have had it removed and were fortunate enough to keep your hair and also to get reconstruction at the same time - many people are currently waiting about 2 years for reconstruction. I myself couldn't have reconstruction and have had to remain flat. 

As someone who had a double mastectomy 16 years ago, I can appreciate that you don't have the same sexual feelings, but with the right medical help and guidance you and your partner can work around this. You should be due your annual post-surgery appointment a year after your operation. Please make sure to attend and mention how you feel both mentally and physically, as you are not alone in feeling as you do.

I do hope that things improve for you, but please don't delay in seeking help. Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx