Recently lost my partner to oesophageal cancer. He was only 57 and he fought to the bitter end.

Hi everyone. Recently I lost my partner to this horrible disease. He was 57 years of age.

He fought and fought to the bitter end.

When he went for his surgery to remove the tumour. We were so very worried but if it gave him 5 years extra of life. Your willing to take the risk. 

No PET scan or xray unfortunately found what the surgeons did. They deflated his lungs and cut across the side of his ribs to get to the tumour. The tumour had spread to the aerota, the back of his heart and down to one of his lungs. The surgeon asked other surgeons down to ask there opinion. However nothing could be done.

He had lots of tests after. His life expectancy went from 12 to 18 months and then months. The tumour had reach his trachea and up to his brain. In the end he lost the ability to talk, so he started communicating through writing. 

He was diagnosed late November last year and he died peacefully at home on the 7th October.  

I need cancer research to look at oesophageal cancer. When he initially was going through his surgery. They were going to take the oesophagus from the neck down to his tummy away. Then stretch his stomach up to make a new oesophagus. If that had been the case he agreed for that part to be donated to research. Unfortunately that didn't happen. 

I am now left wondering what else I could have done.....nothing is the answer. It always happens to the good people and the devil has already played his cards.

  • Welcome to the forum Caz1979 although I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Your partner went through so much and even though he is no longer with us I'm really glad the surgery he had allowed you to have those extra and very precious 5 years together.

    So many of our members know how heart breaking and absolutely devastating it can be to lose a loved one to this disease, so you are not alone, and I'm sure some of them will stop by when they can to offer their support and advice.

    Coping with grief can be incredibly tough but I hope knowing that you have this safe space to share your feelings and connect with others who are also going through this can bring you some strength, and comfort, at this very difficult time.

    Be kind to yourself Caz1979, and remember that we will always be here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Steph. Thank you so much. But it was supposed to be read as if he had the surgery and it was successful it would have gave him 5 years extra of life.  But that wasn't the case.

    Caring at home was so hard although I had support.

    I was watching the cancer research TV programme a couple of days ago and apparently the cancer could take 10 years to develop in your body until it's too late.

    Nights are the worst. I've just got to get into a routine but it's so hard.