Hi AJN,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am sorry to hear how you feel. You are not alone in this, but you will gradually come to terms with the "new you". I have had 2 bouts of cancer and 1 of pre-cancer within just under a year.  I had a lumpectomy first time around and a double mastectomy for the second bout. I initially had large breasts which were my pride and joy and missed them sorely at first. I was not a suitable candidate for reconstruction, due to previous non-cancer related surgery, so have remained flat ever since. It is now 16 years since I was first diagnosed and I often find myself staying totally flat these days. I can disguise my flat chest to some degree by being careful about what I wear and using chunky necklaces to disguise the flatness. I do wear prostheses when I need to be dressed up, but going without is so much more comfortable. I am now proud of my battle scars and so thankful that they have given me all this additional time to see family milestones and to make family memories. You may well feel the same in a few years time.

Did you fully discuss the likelihood of being left with one perky boob and one saggy one with your surgeon? They are usually good at matching up the two breasts nowadays and, if they cannot, will often operate on the other breast to make it match the cancerous breast at a later stage? 

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx