Hi RB,

Trust me, survivor’s guilt and PTSD are real - here’s my home made Cognitive Based Therapy.

Ask yourself:-

1) does cancer affect people in a random way, or are saints and sinners, innocent children and career criminals more or less likely to develop cancer because of their actions?

2) if only 40% of cancers are preventable, how do I know mine wasn’t one of the 60%?

3) is my old friend important enough to me to ask that they give me time to process the news and explain the triggering effect of the news that their partner died of the same rare cancer that I have so far survived?

For what it’s worth, I stopped using this forum for a while after an online friend died. It seemed so unfair that I was going strong despite a Stage 4 diagnosis and she’d been diagnosed at Stage 2 but overtook me despite fighting it with everything possible including experimental treatments. That was ten years ago, but it still feels so bl**dy unfair. 

Please talk to your GP who may be able to help you cope with your mental conflicts, or at least refer you to someone who can help. 

Good luck!
Dave