Looking for friends to understand me. Living with stage 4 lung cancer since 2023. Waiting for scans to see what happens next

My name is Maria, I'm 58 and live in Wales. I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer on December 23rd 2023. I have had chemo and radiotherapy but my cancer still grew. In December 2024 I started more chemo and immunotherapy but in January of 2025 this had to be stopped because it made me so ill that I was hospitalised 3 times for almost 3 weeks each time. I ended up contracting sepsis and hepatitis both with are now cured thankfully but the fight still goes on. At present my oncologist don't think that id benefit from more chemo but am having scans in the next 2 weeks to see what's what. I know my cancer has grown again as I can now feel it and am in bit of pain. I'm not scared of dying as I long to see those who have passed before me again but I am sad that my beautiful son who is 28 and the light of my life will be left all alone as we have no other family. There has always only been my son and I against the world.. My cancer has never defined me as a person, I feel it made me. Thank you for reading. Xx

  • Hi Mimsey

    This is the first post Ive read on cancerchat that reflects many of the feelings I have about having incurable cancer. Like most of us here we have all endured difficult treatments to keep cancer under control and know the likely long term outcome. This and how cancer is affecting me is not what keeps me awake in the small hours. It is those close to me that cause me angst. One of my adult children is to lose their job soon. A second still needs some support due to a medical condition. How will my wife cope with my loss or my nieces young children when her advanced cancer takes her away from them. I dont feel as you do that cancer "has made me" but it has certainly changed me and my outlook on life probably for the better. I hope you have a good day ahead.

    Ed