Hello Sally.  I have stage 4 breast cancer which has spread to my lungs, lymphatic system and bones.  Like you, I was a carer for my husband when I was first diagnosed 6 years ago.   We are both in our 60s.  I won't bore you with the details, but a couple of years ago I decided to stop my treatment.  Some folks believe that you must fight for your life no matter how bad things get.  Others believe that life is only worth fighting for when it is worth living.  We are all different, and whilst some of my family and friends understood my decision, there were others who thought that I was wrong.  At the end of the day Sally, these people are not walking in your shoes, and ultimately, the decision must be  yours and yours alone.  You are in my thoughts and prayers,  God Bless, xx

So sorry to hear of your own health issues and I wish you all the best. 
very undecided. Seeing the oncologist on Friday to discuss further. 
I will stay in touch if that’s ok. 
you must be in a lot of pain. 
I have no pain yet. 
thanks soo much. 
thinking of you both xx

Hope it’s ok to ask how is your quality of life?

thanks

sally 

Hi Sally.   I will be totally honest.......my quality of life is not good.  I have been housebound for the past 2 years and now I am practically bed-bound too.  I can just about manage basic things, such as showering myself, but even this is becoming harder to do.  My sister (who I am now living with) cooks my meals, although I don't eat that much any more.  I miss my husband terribly, (I arranged for a carer to look after him) and I miss the small things that I once enjoyed.......going for walks by the river.......going in to town to do a bit of shopping and have a coffee.........the little things that I took for granted when I was healthy.  The hardest thing to cope with is the pain:  I am on Morphine and although it does work to a certain degree, the pain never completely goes.  There is a constant dull ache all over me.  I cope with it as best I can, and I keep telling myself that I am not the only one going through this and that there are folks in the world who have it even harder than I do..........but to be honest, that doesn't make me feel much better.  I want the life I had before........with my husband in our home with our lovely garden, with my good health that I once enjoyed.  I put on a brave face because that's all I can do.........but I hate living like this.  Feel free to ask me anything you like Sally, and please bear in mind that everyone's situation is different......for example, many folks carry on with their treatment because for them, life is still worth living, but for others, particularly when the pain is bad and you have almost become disabled, life becomes a burden. xx

I really appreciate your honesty and my heart goes out to you. Every hour must be a struggle. You are in my prayers. 
has your husband passed away. Kids??

Thankfully your sister is soo good to you. Bloody awful disease. 
again many thanks. 
sally. 

Hi Sally, and thank you for your kind words.  My husband is still alive but it reached a point where I became too ill to take care of him, as he is disabled.  So I went to live with my sister and I found a carer for my husband.  We don't have any kids, we met late in life, but we were extremely happy together.  We speak every day on the phone, and I guess that is as good as it gets at this point.  I wish you well Sally, and yes I agree.......it is a bloody awful disease, a monster.  Take care, xx

Ah I understand now. That is soo tough being apart. Cancer practically takes everything from you. You both are going through the mill. 
how awful. 
I can’t imagine what sustains you to face another day. 
ye are the best. 
sally xx

Thank you Sally. That is very kind of you, xx