Hello Charlieface, 

A warm welcome to our forum and thank you for sharing your story. Wow you have certainly had a lot of different cancer treatments in the last 12 years: chemotherapy, surgery, a trial, letrozole. What a rollercoaster indeed and you describe the long terms psychological effects of cancer really well, the ups and downs, the twists and turns and that niggle many on here will recognise that never goes away whether you are going through treatment or not. As you said, it's really hard to find peace of mind but you can find joy and relaxation in the things that bring you joy and happiness whether it's reading a good book, listening to music or spending time with your pet, family, friends, grandchildren.

I completely understand your sadness though on some days that you may not have long with your loved ones, but try to focus, if you can, on each moment with them, each day, each week, each month, each year as life is so unpredictable and you may still have a long long time to enjoy in their company. 

You are right when you say that you are all very brave and I hope that you can support one another and share your cancer journeys and the challenges you may have faced through your treatment journeys. We're all here for you anytime you feel the need to offload and talk to others who can really understand. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Lucie Big thanks for your loverly message back it’s nice to know there’s someone who understands and yes I will certainly use this forum to chat to you all and if I can help in anyway I will love Charlieface x