I am so terribly saddened for both you and your husband and where you have both found yourselves since July. This is an incredibly hard situation for anyone, and it is important to remember that. 

If you haven't done already, I would speak to Macmillan, as this may benefit both you and your husband in trying to process things, but speaking to someone who understands really can bring comfort and offer great support.

I lost my mother in law just over 3 years ago now and my mum has been diagnosed today with terminal cancer so will soon be moving from hospital to a hospice. My mother in law never made it there and passed before hospice care was possible 

It's hard to see someone you live bare so much pain, and it's difficult to not want things to end sooner sometimes as you want to end their pain, and in a way have the limbo that is end of life care come to ints inevitable conclusions. You're doing an unbelievably difficult job making the trip to see your husband every afternoon, and it may help comfort you after he passes, knowing you were such a comfort to him.

Look after yourself and know there are people out there who can help - you are doing an impossible job to the best of your ability.

Thank you Fayo - I really appreciate your kind and thoughtful response. I am sorry to hear of your own sadness too with your Mum - and your Mother-in-law too. Life can be unbearably sad sometimes - but often a little ***, like the sun bursting through on a dull grey day, can lift our spirits and give us hope of good times beyond the sadness. Take care of yourself too, sending loving thoughts to you X