Hello Jessica-s.       You certainly do need and deserve to hear more and have access to people who have come through cancer. I am one of them, had breast cancer twice over many years.    The stage you are at l can totally identify with and will never forget. It’s an overwhelming feeling of vulnerability and fear……the treatment itself does induce a low mood.   One of the hardest parts, but l am trying to give you a hopeful way of dealing with, is to self focus on your cancer and YOU. Try hard especially when you attend clinic for treatment  to not absorb information of someone not doing so well. You will experience this and it is not selfish or uncaring of you to just concentrate and focus on yourself entirely.  You are you, your cancer is yours, even someone else with the same cancer will deal with it differently to you.   The cliche ‘it’s a journey’ is absolutely it…..and a day at a time is THE BEST you can do for yourself.    There really isn’t enough access to know about or hear about survivors. I was recently at an appointment for something non cancer related and the nurse looking at my notes noticed my history. She herself had had breast cancer last year and was still feeling vulnerable, just meeting me she admitted gave her great hope, she was really elated.    Reach out for survivors, it will give you positive energy.     

Hi Jessica,

Starting chemo is often a low point. To me it felt like the start of climbing a huge mountain in the dark, with no idea of what comes next. It made me feel very ill but, 11 years later, I’m still in remission.

Good luck!
Dave