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Still in shock after losing my 25 year old daughter 3 years ago

Shellyanne
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Hi everyone I'm shellyanne I have read some of your posts and.  Brouy me to tears.  I lost my youngest daughter almost 3 yrs ago in January. And I still expy her ringing me up playing pranks on me  says she was some one else. That was her character .she found a lump in her breast which grew very quickly.  They took a biopsy which the results was stage 3 breast cancer.   She had chemotherapy. Which shrank the tumor.   And everything was looking positive.eventually she had her breast off and they did a reconstruction which shocked me  she then had some more therapy to make sure they had got it all. .things was looking good. She was more like herself .around Nov/Dec she started feeling exhausted and achy in her back  the doctors said the aches and pains could be the after effects of the operation  so she carried on  getting ready for Xmas.   She was in and out u hospital with pain in her stomach and pain between her shoulder blades. .it tuo out she had a blockage in her bowel.    They said. They would keep her in for a while and give her morphine to ease the pain.  It carried on and they said they wanted to do tests to check her liver.  They did an urgent liver MRI scan which confirmed it had spread to her liver and it quickly turned to stage 4 liver cancer and it was inoperable.they said she had a rare form of aggressive cancer.   They sent her home so she could spend time with her little boy.  His birthday was on the sat     she passed away at home on the wed.  It totally devastated the whole family. We just couldn't believe that a 25 yrs old who didn't drink smoke  she ate healthy went to the gym. Was taken like that

I still to this day can't get my head around it all I think of her every day  the only thing that helps me is she is buried with her sister  so she isn't alone her sister was a Xmas baby   I think things would get better with time but I'm still struggling if I hear a song from the funeral I go to pieces   I had councilling for 2 yrs which hello a bit. But I think you need to chat to people who are going through the same thing.  Anyway that you for letting me share my personal story with you all.    Shellyanne 

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    Hello Shellyanne, 

    I am so sorry for your loss - there's nothing harder than the loss of a child and she went through a lot at such a young age. Your description of how she was sent home so she could spend time with her little boy was so moving. It's impossible for a parent to forget what happened or not to think of her and this time of year must be particularly hard for you especially as you lost another child who was a Christmas baby and you also remember vividly the time when your daughter was feeling very poorly over Christmas. It's completely understandable that you would go to pieces after hearing a song from the funeral or anything that makes you think of your daughter. I am glad that counselling helped a bit and don't hesitate to get in touch with your GP if you feel you are struggling to cope and see if you can have counselling again if you feel it would be beneficial or if there's anything else your doctor could suggest to help you cope with this intense grief. There is no easy way of coping with grief but there is support available. As you rightly say though, sometimes you just need to chat to others who are going through the same thing and you have come to the right place to meet others who have sadly also lost a child or a loved one and I hope that you can give one another support and comfort. 

     I hope you don't mind but I have slightly edited the title of your post to make it easier for others who have been through something similar to spot your post easily and share their own stories and experiences. We're thinking of you during this difficult time of year; what you went through is truly traumatic and I wanted you to know you are not alone and we are all here for you anytime you want to talk to others who truly understand.

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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