Hi all,

I was just diagnosed with breast cancer 4 days ago. I’m just 34 and in total shock about it. It is ER+, HER2 equivocal (FISH result pending) The doctor has assessed this as being a Stage 1A Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with DCIS, 20mm, Grade 2. He said the lymph nodes looked normal on the ultrasound and they did a biopsy and his letter said “cN0” which I understand means no cancer found in nodes, but I can definitely feel they are enlarged on the side with cancer. There’s one that is slightly more protruded and the area feels swollen now.

The nurse told me yesterday that it was more likely caused by stress and not to prod at myself but I am completely spinning out with anxiety that the cancer has spread. The biopsy was already 10 days ago and the surgery won’t be for another 4 weeks. The doctor ordered a mammogram and contrast MRI to get a full picture of what’s going on and I understand they need the diagnostic tests but every day is torture. The doctor’s letter said the Ki67 marker was 35% which I understand is high and means the cells are replicating quickly. The nurse said not to worry it was slow growing but every day I feel like it could be spreading further! I don’t know whether to explore private options to see if I can get the surgery done quicker, even if it’s a week or two quicker this could make the difference?

I am so frightened about the future, receiving more bad news, being sick, side effects from the treatments, not having children, the cancer coming back. I felt completely fit and healthy before this and just started a new relationship. Now everything has changed overnight. I feel so powerless.