I think waiting for the results is really hard on your mind, I could not concentrate on anything eless either but there is not much the medics can do generally to speed that up. It’s natural to be anxious, they call waiting for scan results as scanxiety and they are not wrong. There are lots of scans, some during and some after treatment and then of course the ongoing monitoring.
I found once I had my diagnosis confirmed from the testing, the treatment plan followed quickly. I was due to have chemoradiation so then had a further scan to add the tattoo marks. That is where they plan where the radiation beams are placed. The days leading up to my treatment are a bit of a blur, I read all the literature the hospital gave me to prepare myself for the treatment as best I could, the macmillan team at my treatment centre were helpful with other support information, this website has a wealth of people who,have lived this. I am lucky I did not need special support but it’s comforting to know there is help with all this. I could not sleep the night before my first treatment but once I was in the chair to get my first chemo with the nurses taking me through each step then this feeling of relief that I am still me washed back like a comfy blanket. My optimism and fight was back in place. I was starting my journey to live with this. I am incurable but treatable. I can help myself on how this goes and I have a good team around me.
I was taking the very first positive step to sort this disease out. I am early into this journey only about 4 - 5 weeks further in from yourself and I can assure you once you have the facts from your doctors and their plan of how they’re going to help you going forward then this feeling you have will pass. I use Yoga techniques to help me when the feelings flood around me. Usually at silly o’clock, I just repeat to myself that there is no point worrying about what I don’t know or what I cannot control but I am not alone in this, I have good doctors, good friends and a good chance to live with this for a long time. New breakthroughs in treatments are rampant, it is not a death sentence anymore.
I hope you get your diagnosis and treatment plan very soon. Do stay in touch in here, there are folk here who have been here for years and years helping others. They are our new friends. all the best
Thanks for your words of encouragement feel like I’m sitting in a dark tunnel at the moment with no light at the end of it everybody must go through this going to keep going as best as I can take care
