Hi Bagheera, 

I hope all goes well on Friday, it is understandable that you are not feeling positive and everyone copes differently and worries about different things dependent on their life circumstances and support network.

If it isn't cancer then that will be relief, it is cancer then there are things as you know that the medical team will be able to do.  For me I prepared myself for having terminal cancer and the worst so anything else I heard in terms of an outcome was more positive. I was given a diagnosis of inflammatory breast cancer which had spread to my lymph nodes, I will need 6 chemo cycles (I had one yesterday) then a maescetomy. 

I am only 44 but still look youthful and have big breasts that are part my identity as a big bubbly person.  It may not work for everyone and I don't mean to offend anyone but I felt relatively calm about this all, my attitude and thinking is that there are things that can be done and also things that can be done to help with those that have terminal diagnosis, we all die at some point when it is our tine to go and we could all die any day, if you know you have an illness that could lead to death it gives you a kick up the bum to help you ensure you get the most of what you have, don't take things for granted, focus on what you want to do and can prepare, as spend more quality time with loved ones, it's a small comfort but everyone has issues and some people have it a lot worse or have had shorter lives for whatever reason, and whatever happens happens we cannot control it but if the worst happens I truly believe if we have been decent good people it is not the end and we go somewhere that is good.  I am keeping a sense humour about it all as well, as I didn't think that I would be getting a boob job at this time of life and I feel that if people can go through cosmetic surgeries all the time then surely I can do this.  I am also ensuring that I talk to people and use support networks. Hearing positive stories of people that have come through similar cancer to myself means it doesn't feel so daunting, some of the people that have gone through breast cancer treatment have posted on my post inflammatory breast cancer and shared information which makes it seem less daunting.

Everyone copes differently so do whatever works for you, so if you feel like crying, screaming, etc do it. I do wish you the best and hope it isn't cancer, sometimes people can have cysts or other things that aren't cancer. Also, some cancers aren't hereditary,.

What I would advise if they haven't already done a CT scan is to press them to arrange a CT/MRI scan that is because if you have other symptoms it can help rule out other stuff, but also if you do have a cancer diagnosis you then don't have to wait longer again to see if it has spread or not.  Additionally, if you do you should be able to chose which hospital your treatment is transferred to.  I am planning to move area if we can sell our house and  I was advised that if I need to move then my treatment can be at the nearest hospital that offers those services.

Thank you for sharing and do keep us all updated on the site if you wish to and reach out for support.

Rose