Hi I found out 2 days again my mum has stage 4 lung cancer. She has been unwell for several months but was fobbed off by her GP with multiple rounds of antibiotics. We knew something wasn't right so we kept pushing. Eventually they kind of took her more seriously and tests begun to take place but at an absolute snails pace. During which no pain management took place, no wellbeing checks she was practically forgotten until we screamed and shouted. By the time this week comes round she had gone from fiercely independent and enjoying her life to frail, lacking independent mobility and in agonising pain. I cried at the initial diagnosis but since then I've been numb. I have waves of sadness, then most oddly waves of feeling normal. The worst thing yet is having a moment of realising that I won't be receiving any more calls from her. We have a tradition of calling one another every week and just chatting away for a couple of hours even if I'm seeing her a few days later. She has become so confused and a bit angry towards my dad and sister. But oddly she is still ok with me as yet. She made them call me twice this evening and there was a brief moment of normality. Beautiful but also a dagger to my heart. I understand I am lucky to be approaching my late 30s at still have both my parents but I can't help but feel robbed of time. I had my first baby almost a year ago and they are her first and only grandchild I feel sad that they won't remember my mum and how amazing she is. My husband to be lost his mums before we met so have good support from experienced hands but I find myself wanting to scream how unfair it is that it's my mum. I of course don't but it flashes through my mind regardless. I don't even know why I've come on here but thanks for reading it you got this far.